Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Community
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living with hpv

i am a eighteen year old female, this past august i was diagnosed with hpv. i've never had sex without a condom and only with someone i was in a relationship with,

apparently people can have it and never show symptoms but they still pass it on. i could be one of those people too, which i would have preffered.

my body has a hard time fighting off infections and according to the doctor, hpv is more of a waiting for my body to respond to treatment. FML right?

it started off with two small ones when i went into the clinic and they put this liquid called TH3, its some sort of acid that burns it off in a few days. and it worked... but only half of it was gone, by the time the  week or two were up to go again, 3 more appeared, so we did the TH3 again and it worked for the most part.. but more and more and more came.. there was a time when there were so many, you couldnt even tell what my vagina used to look like. i went to the clinic to fix it for 5 months, and nothing they did really helped.
so they sent me to a dermatoligist and she used nitrous oxide to try freezing it off.. words cant even begin to describe the pain. i did they every two weeks up until a month ago when she did two warts specifically and it look them 3 weeks to heal there wasnt a time in that three weeks that i didnt want to cry it hurt so much. even a slight brish of my underwear would make my eyes water. i work in a resturant as a host. so even tho this is happening. noone can no why it hurts or better yet, that it hurts at all,
im using this cream now called aldera. it doesnt hurt and it works okay. expensive tho.

it breaks my heart everytime someone tells me how pretty i am, and i believe them. i know im beautiful. but im not going to be able to keep a relationship, as mush as it hurts i have accepted that this will be a part of me for the rest of my life, i just wish that it didnt happen till later on. i was 17 when i first broke out.. i hate that im never going to be able to be a normal teenage/young woman... even the little things i took  for granted,  being able to shave down there or wax even, i miss wearing sexy underwear, but now i feel that theres really no use ( whos gonna see right?). im going to miss wearing a bikini thats for sure,

i didn't have the best childhood when i was growning up, so all ive ever dreamed about it have childrren of my own to love and i guess break my cycle so to speak,

so i guess my question is..

is there anyone with hpv and reoccuring warts who has managed to find a husband who loves her anyway, and would even risk having kids??
1 Responses
1067212 tn?1353964002
Hello. I feel your pain, living with HPV can be very emotionally scarring as it strips a woman of her femininity. It is horrible that you have a bad case of genital warts, because even if I notice one, it changes my mood dramatically. I am 18 too, so I can identify with you a little bit. It's not fair that you took precautions, you did it with the right guys and yet you still managed to get the virus.

As I am 18 like you, I can't tell you an uplifting story about marriage and kids, but I assure you there are many women out there who go through this but they come out the other side of the dark lonely tunnel happily married with children. Although genital warts can be passed to kids in birth, it is unlikely, so many women experience no problems.

When I first found out I had genital warts, I was heart broken because I, like you, had never had sex with someone I didn't consider to be in love with, in fact I had only been with 2 guys. At the time I suspected something, I had started a relationship with a new guy. I told him my fears straight away and he was so loving and caring. He said he didn't mind because he wanted me. He came with me to my appointment and we dealt with it together. He has never once doubted our relationship and we've been together 6 months. I don't know if that will make you feel better or not, but it shows there is love after this.

Maybe the treatments you used before weren't reacting with your body enough, ending in bad outbreaks. Fingers crossed that the aldara is the treatment for you. It's what I used, and it really did the job. I'm guessing you have some sort of deficiency which makes your body find it difficult to fight things off so I won't sit here and tell you "it will clear in 2 years" because you've probably heard it all before. Have you tried getting healthy? Vitamins etc, no smoking, drinking. That helps a lot.

I know you have probably lost a lot of faith, but rest assured you will meet someone open minded one day who will accept this part of you. So many people come to this forum feeling hopeless,  wondering how they could possibly be in a relationship, but with a gentle push they come back joyfully surprised at how accepting people can be. HPV is so common, there are even dating sites where people with it can date others and not have to fear about being judged. Maybe that's something you could look into?

My only advise would be to carry on believing in love because you will find it if you have faith. Obviously it will be difficult, and you'll come across some people in your time who make the decision that they don't want to get involved, but its there loss. You say yourself you're beautiful. One day you will meet a guy who regards you as so important, that the virus you have wont even matter.

Don't let HPV ruin your life. Don't let it win. Fight back, hold your head up high and control the virus, don't let it control you.
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