I feel for you and your family and know that this is truly difficult. It certainly doesn't pay to not know if you have something that you don't want to suffer with if you are worried about having it because your family members do have it. I would say, on a personal level, it is important for you to find out, simply because you mentioned you have a young son. The last thing you would want to have happen (aside from having Huntington's) is to suffer with symptoms of the disease, not know you have it and your family (specifically your son) not know why you may be behaving the way in which you describe your mother did. Know how you are feeing about your mom having it and think how your son would feel if you were going through the same thing, but undiagnosed? Would he be worrying that you were behaving this way because of the disease or for other reasons? I think that kind of stress is destructive for both you and your own family.
I know you are scared to know or find out about the possibility of also having Huntington's, but in hindsight - knowing gives you the ability to prepare and educate those close to you. Also, what if there are treatments available in future, or the near future that come available and can help deal with symptoms, but if you don't know whether you have it or not, you can't treat it. I think that the benefits of discovery far outweigh the negatives of knowing.
You are young still, and have lots of years that you should be enjoying and not worrying, but I completely understand your fear and concerns.
Think not only for yourself but also your son. Hopefully thinking of your son will help to subside your own fears. Remember, ultimately the decision is yours and you have to be comfortable with it (the decision to test), no matter what the result may be.
My thoughts are with you, and if ever you need to talk I am always available.
Good luck, and if you have any other questions that I can help you with, please feel free to message me directly.
MedHelp Genetics Community Leader;
Down syndrome Community Leader & Ds Group Forum Founder/Moderator
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