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Sex Drive after Hysterectomy???
Sorry to be blunt but I don't know any other way to ask this...do you lose your sex drive after a hysterctomy???? I am for sure having my uterus taken out...not sure what else they will decide when they go in. I am having a Lap Assisted Vaginal Hysterectomy. They will check my ovaries and tubes when they go in to decide if they are healthy or need to come out. So...either way...uterus only...or ovaries too...do you lose your sex drive???? I have been in pain for so long that it has already affected my sex life...I really hope that I can still have an active sex life with my husband. He has been so patient and loving. Any advice would be greatly appriciated. God bless...Lynn
I hope you are able to find someway to work thru it with him. It is awful that you should have to feel like it is you. If for some reason he feels that way he should be honest and let you know where you stand so you can make decisions. You are in my thoughts and prayers.God bless...Lynn
Well, I appreciate your concern. I am afraid we have had MANY discussions about this and we saw a specialist together years ago (who told me that it is NOT me)... but what I also learned is that some men have a Horrible time trying to talk about this... and, so, that is part of the problem, too. Very, very complicated.
We studied acupunture in Grad school and I was amazed at the recognition it is getting by the Medical community... it is about time. One of the professors explained how it works... it is incredible. Has to do with changing the nerve pathways...ok..that is where I forget just how it works, but I do recall the word "Pathways" !
Take care,
Mary
We studied acupunture in Grad school and I was amazed at the recognition it is getting by the Medical community... it is about time. One of the professors explained how it works... it is incredible. Has to do with changing the nerve pathways...ok..that is where I forget just how it works, but I do recall the word "Pathways" !
Take care,
Mary
Yeah...that has to be very frustrating. I personally don't blame you for trying things that you think will work. I am the one who has accupuncture for my cramps and pelvic pain. It may not completely take the pain away but it does give me some relief. My husband who has nerve pain that shoots from his butt cheek down his leg won't even consider giving it a try. I figure any pain relief is better than none and what is the worse that can happen...it doesn't work. Oh well...at least I tried right.
You say he doesn't see it as a problem just cuz 2 dr says its not a problem? What made him even go to those 2 unless something wasn't working right? I do hope that you are able to find something that gets thru to him. Have you talked to him about the fact that it makes you feel like it is you? Maybe if he knows how it makes you feel like a personal rejection...he may do more to figure out why things aren't working...or be honest about it and you will know where you stand. Just a thought.
I hope everything works out for you. God bless...Lynn
You say he doesn't see it as a problem just cuz 2 dr says its not a problem? What made him even go to those 2 unless something wasn't working right? I do hope that you are able to find something that gets thru to him. Have you talked to him about the fact that it makes you feel like it is you? Maybe if he knows how it makes you feel like a personal rejection...he may do more to figure out why things aren't working...or be honest about it and you will know where you stand. Just a thought.
I hope everything works out for you. God bless...Lynn
Sorry I did not get back to you sooner. I have a few days off of work (no computer at work) and I have not had much time to get back on here once I have gotten home... just finishing up some paper work and such (I am a teacher)... dog walk... dinner... exhaustion :) you know the deal...
Anyway, all I guess I can say is send some positive thoughts my ways regarding spouse/sex issues. I honestly don't know if this will ever be resolved. It has been going on for about 5 years and has gotten almost to the point of no return. There are numerous reasons why I stick around... and, we are good friends (most of the time!)... but, I did not get married (all those years ago) so I could have a roommate...
We are both very different in that if I have a physical problem, I won't stop until I get an answer... honestly, there are times the answers have not been totally right.. but, sometimes you just have to TRY things, you know? I don't have years and years left to fiddle around and WAIT to get better. Not sure how to word this... for example... the FDA has not approved testosterone use for women. BUT. It is used "Off-label" for women for libido issues (plus for more than that acutally...bladder, mood, chemical sensitivities) but my doctor gave it to me in March of 2001 for libido issues. I use it every day. I would not be without it. Now, my husband would probably see that "Not FDA approved" and say..."WHOA... NOT FOR ME" .... only example I can think of because obviously the FDA has approved testosterone use for men! But, he will see oh, two doctors... and if he is told he does not have a problem (won't see a specialist) then he figures he does not have a problem. Well...sorry... to me it is not normal. Or, it is me. And, if it is ME...meaning it is just ME he has no interest in...then I am on my way. But, so far that has not been the case. OK. Are you as confused now as I am :)
OH well... and, so it goes.
I wish you well regarding your upcoming surgery.
Mary
Anyway, all I guess I can say is send some positive thoughts my ways regarding spouse/sex issues. I honestly don't know if this will ever be resolved. It has been going on for about 5 years and has gotten almost to the point of no return. There are numerous reasons why I stick around... and, we are good friends (most of the time!)... but, I did not get married (all those years ago) so I could have a roommate...
We are both very different in that if I have a physical problem, I won't stop until I get an answer... honestly, there are times the answers have not been totally right.. but, sometimes you just have to TRY things, you know? I don't have years and years left to fiddle around and WAIT to get better. Not sure how to word this... for example... the FDA has not approved testosterone use for women. BUT. It is used "Off-label" for women for libido issues (plus for more than that acutally...bladder, mood, chemical sensitivities) but my doctor gave it to me in March of 2001 for libido issues. I use it every day. I would not be without it. Now, my husband would probably see that "Not FDA approved" and say..."WHOA... NOT FOR ME" .... only example I can think of because obviously the FDA has approved testosterone use for men! But, he will see oh, two doctors... and if he is told he does not have a problem (won't see a specialist) then he figures he does not have a problem. Well...sorry... to me it is not normal. Or, it is me. And, if it is ME...meaning it is just ME he has no interest in...then I am on my way. But, so far that has not been the case. OK. Are you as confused now as I am :)
OH well... and, so it goes.
I wish you well regarding your upcoming surgery.
Mary
Woo Hoo!!! Wow I hope so...it has hurt for so long...I just want it to be fun again. Thanks for all the great responses.
I agree with Mary on Vivelle I take it and it has helped alot. I had uterus out 1 year ago and BSO 6 weeks ago, I sometimes need lube but to be honest its so very nice to be pain free and know that sex wont hurt that I Find myself enjoying sex more that I have in a long time , for those with very decrease libido there are very small pellets that can be implanted under the skin on the upper outer thigh, kind of like a female viagra, Sobber mommy s got it right most women Ive read about or talked to find a big improvement in sex its great to be pain free !!!!
I found this info while reading online about the subject...just thought I would share.
LIFE AFTER HYSTERECTOMY — Studies of women's response to hysterectomy show that most women are very satisfied with their results (show table 2). Most reported improvement in symptoms directly related to the uterus, including pain and vaginal bleeding.
Sexual function and enjoyment, interest in sex, and pain with sex were improved for most women. However, this improvement may be dependent upon several factors, including the age of a woman at the time of surgery, the reason for surgery, and history of any prior difficulties with mood. Younger women may grieve after hysterectomy due to their loss of fertility. A woman who has new feelings of sadness, anxiety, or depression after surgery should speak with her healthcare provider. These feelings may be treated by talking with a therapist, with antidepressant medication, or may resolve with time.
Mary...do you think that your hubby will get the help he needs? I sure hope so for both of your sakes. Life is to be enjoyed...and while I know there are so many aspects to be considered enjoyable...a healthy sex life should be part of it if at all possible.
LIFE AFTER HYSTERECTOMY — Studies of women's response to hysterectomy show that most women are very satisfied with their results (show table 2). Most reported improvement in symptoms directly related to the uterus, including pain and vaginal bleeding.
Sexual function and enjoyment, interest in sex, and pain with sex were improved for most women. However, this improvement may be dependent upon several factors, including the age of a woman at the time of surgery, the reason for surgery, and history of any prior difficulties with mood. Younger women may grieve after hysterectomy due to their loss of fertility. A woman who has new feelings of sadness, anxiety, or depression after surgery should speak with her healthcare provider. These feelings may be treated by talking with a therapist, with antidepressant medication, or may resolve with time.
Mary...do you think that your hubby will get the help he needs? I sure hope so for both of your sakes. Life is to be enjoyed...and while I know there are so many aspects to be considered enjoyable...a healthy sex life should be part of it if at all possible.
Thanks for the great info. Wasn't sure how well received this question would be on this site but it is a huge concern for me. I want to quit hurting and to be able to have pain free...enjoyable sex with my husband again. I hope this isn't too much too ask...lol.
Laney...yeah I know what you mean. For me...any sexual arousal what so ever caused a tightening...knotting pain in my low pelvic area. (They have said this is my uterus. I sure hope they are right and it gets better after the surgery). Actual intercourse could only happen on the best of days when I just said to heck with it...I am gonna hurt no matter what so I am gonna at least try. If eveything was just right and positioning was cautious and boring...it would work. I don't want to spend the rest of my life hurting...and being cautious and boring.
Sharon...thanks and great for you. I am praying for great results too. Enjoy it!!!!
Mary...wow...thanks so much. I wasn't sure if I should ask or not but figured what the heck...the worst they can do is kick me off the site...lol. You have loads of great info. I will definately look into it. I have 2 sheets of questions for the dr before the surgery. I requested another appt with her before the surgery just so my husband and I could both go together and ask our questions. I think it is important for them to meet each other. He should have a chance to meet the woman who is doing the surgery. I also feel it is important that she has the chance to meet him as well. This surgery affects both of us...not just me. Plus it is good to have 2 sets of ears hearing the answers.
Thanks again to all of you for your responses. God bless...Lynn
Laney...yeah I know what you mean. For me...any sexual arousal what so ever caused a tightening...knotting pain in my low pelvic area. (They have said this is my uterus. I sure hope they are right and it gets better after the surgery). Actual intercourse could only happen on the best of days when I just said to heck with it...I am gonna hurt no matter what so I am gonna at least try. If eveything was just right and positioning was cautious and boring...it would work. I don't want to spend the rest of my life hurting...and being cautious and boring.
Sharon...thanks and great for you. I am praying for great results too. Enjoy it!!!!
Mary...wow...thanks so much. I wasn't sure if I should ask or not but figured what the heck...the worst they can do is kick me off the site...lol. You have loads of great info. I will definately look into it. I have 2 sheets of questions for the dr before the surgery. I requested another appt with her before the surgery just so my husband and I could both go together and ask our questions. I think it is important for them to meet each other. He should have a chance to meet the woman who is doing the surgery. I also feel it is important that she has the chance to meet him as well. This surgery affects both of us...not just me. Plus it is good to have 2 sets of ears hearing the answers.
Thanks again to all of you for your responses. God bless...Lynn
One more thing. When the uterus is taken out, you lose hormones, too. Many don't think of that when having a hysterectomy.
Also, if you do look into taking estrogen, try to go the Bioidentical route. I use only Estrodiol (Vivelle Patch). Do the homework...it is worth it. I realize not all may be able to take hormones... but, by doing the research, you will learn what may be acceptable....
Mary
Also, if you do look into taking estrogen, try to go the Bioidentical route. I use only Estrodiol (Vivelle Patch). Do the homework...it is worth it. I realize not all may be able to take hormones... but, by doing the research, you will learn what may be acceptable....
Mary
I give you all tons of credit for asking! More women need to ask this question whether they have had a hysterectomy or not. There is no need to have this part of your life suffer. It is part of what makes us female adults.
For those having partial hysterectomies, keep in mind that blood flow to the ovaries can be drastically affected. So, since ovaries are the primary source for making testosterone and estrogen (some testosterone can be made in the adrenals... and some estrogen is going to coming from the fat cells ... and for this reason alone, you need to keep up with an exercise program so that the estrogen can be utilized from the fat cells and not turned into just fat... I KNOW.. .TERRIBLY CONFUSING. They can get men on the moon, but, well, Geeezzzz...you know what I mean)....So, you might be okay or you might need to supplement with testosterone (an amazing hormone :)) and perhaps some estrogen. I know I open a can of worms when I mention that one, but at least bear in mind that for some women it may be necessary to use a non-systemic type of estrogen in the vaginal area just to keep that area supple. And, I don't mean to say it needs to be supple only for sex, but for overall vaginal dryness which can be very uncomforable. Then there is vaginal atrophy which can change the direction of the ureter and thus the flow of the urine. I find it totally unacceptable that I have to "pee" and then in order for the last bit to drain I have to practially stand on my head. But, this is what I have to do when my hormones are out of whack. And, it has happened to my friends who are in the same boat.
For those having total hysterectomies I would get ahold of as much research as you can find and figure out what you need. If you do not need anything...well...GREAT! But, chances are you might need help. I needed help three months to the day after my hysterectomy. No drive AT ALL. IN fact, I found sex disgusting for the first time in my adult life and was very saddened by this. The testosterone (given to females "off label") helped very much. It also helps with dryness and bladder issues and chemical sensitivities, etc...
I used to push the Bioidentical Progesterone like crazy and for a time it was very helpful to me, but over the past year I have been reading work by Elizabeth Vliet, MD who wrote "Screaming to be Heard" and suggests that women without ovaries cannot utilize progesterone and so they do not need it and in fact it won't be helpful at all. I am still researching as we speak.
My problem is that I have a 62 year old husband who has no desire at all, which is also a source of great sadness to me, and I don't know if he is going to take care of the issue or not since he spoke with "2" doctors and one said one thing and the other said something else. I don't know if we are going to be able to resolve the issue and we have been married for 28 years. But, I won't stop using the testosterone. I want to feel like a woman, if that makes sense.
Well, I hope this helped somewhat. Be TERRIBLY PROACTIVE and GET THE ANSWERS YOU DESERVE.
Oh, and by the way, Sharon, thanks for the kudos on the bodyrolling... and, a belated happy birthday, too!
Sincerely,
Mary
For those having partial hysterectomies, keep in mind that blood flow to the ovaries can be drastically affected. So, since ovaries are the primary source for making testosterone and estrogen (some testosterone can be made in the adrenals... and some estrogen is going to coming from the fat cells ... and for this reason alone, you need to keep up with an exercise program so that the estrogen can be utilized from the fat cells and not turned into just fat... I KNOW.. .TERRIBLY CONFUSING. They can get men on the moon, but, well, Geeezzzz...you know what I mean)....So, you might be okay or you might need to supplement with testosterone (an amazing hormone :)) and perhaps some estrogen. I know I open a can of worms when I mention that one, but at least bear in mind that for some women it may be necessary to use a non-systemic type of estrogen in the vaginal area just to keep that area supple. And, I don't mean to say it needs to be supple only for sex, but for overall vaginal dryness which can be very uncomforable. Then there is vaginal atrophy which can change the direction of the ureter and thus the flow of the urine. I find it totally unacceptable that I have to "pee" and then in order for the last bit to drain I have to practially stand on my head. But, this is what I have to do when my hormones are out of whack. And, it has happened to my friends who are in the same boat.
For those having total hysterectomies I would get ahold of as much research as you can find and figure out what you need. If you do not need anything...well...GREAT! But, chances are you might need help. I needed help three months to the day after my hysterectomy. No drive AT ALL. IN fact, I found sex disgusting for the first time in my adult life and was very saddened by this. The testosterone (given to females "off label") helped very much. It also helps with dryness and bladder issues and chemical sensitivities, etc...
I used to push the Bioidentical Progesterone like crazy and for a time it was very helpful to me, but over the past year I have been reading work by Elizabeth Vliet, MD who wrote "Screaming to be Heard" and suggests that women without ovaries cannot utilize progesterone and so they do not need it and in fact it won't be helpful at all. I am still researching as we speak.
My problem is that I have a 62 year old husband who has no desire at all, which is also a source of great sadness to me, and I don't know if he is going to take care of the issue or not since he spoke with "2" doctors and one said one thing and the other said something else. I don't know if we are going to be able to resolve the issue and we have been married for 28 years. But, I won't stop using the testosterone. I want to feel like a woman, if that makes sense.
Well, I hope this helped somewhat. Be TERRIBLY PROACTIVE and GET THE ANSWERS YOU DESERVE.
Oh, and by the way, Sharon, thanks for the kudos on the bodyrolling... and, a belated happy birthday, too!
Sincerely,
Mary
hiyas i pray u all the best for ur surgeries
everybody responds differently but here is my opinion for what its worth
after my doc gave me the "go ahead" i have had a very satifsfying love life
and eventhough i have the vertical scar i felt even more attractive
so far (i am only 2.5 months post op tah/bso) i have not experienced dryness either
some people who are further past their surgeries may know more
love
sharon
everybody responds differently but here is my opinion for what its worth
after my doc gave me the "go ahead" i have had a very satifsfying love life
and eventhough i have the vertical scar i felt even more attractive
so far (i am only 2.5 months post op tah/bso) i have not experienced dryness either
some people who are further past their surgeries may know more
love
sharon
Hey Lynn,
Thanks for asking this question. I too have been thinking the same exact thing. I am having my surgery on Wed the 15th. I am having the total hysterectomy, bilateral salpingoophorectomy, appendectomy with node sampling...wow, thats a mouthful
I haven't enjoyed sex in months from the pain which is really a bummer. Hope there are some positive responses to your question....
Laney
Thanks for asking this question. I too have been thinking the same exact thing. I am having my surgery on Wed the 15th. I am having the total hysterectomy, bilateral salpingoophorectomy, appendectomy with node sampling...wow, thats a mouthful
I haven't enjoyed sex in months from the pain which is really a bummer. Hope there are some positive responses to your question....
Laney
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