Aa
Help me understand why someone would lie and want multiple partners?
I'm really just interested to hear other peoples views on this, its something i myself really cant understand.
To cut a long story short, i started seeing a girl at the beginning of this year, it wasnt just a random person, it truely is the girl i wanted to be with. The relationship dynamics never really worked as a normal couple would, despite us clearly being a couple to the people who are friends with us, she did not want it announced to the general public at whole. Something i put up with increasing difficulty for roughly 5 months. I considered myself "lucky" to be with this girl as we got along very well and she was very attractive so i left it.
After a massive fight caused by her flirting refusely with some guy at a party we mutually attended, i decided id go through her facebook in the middle of the night. When doing this i found that she had been leading another guy on and having sex with him on a regular basis. It must have been hard to do so due to the fact i saw her so frequently and never got caught but she somehow pulled it off. The funny thing is because he was not known to anyone i knew, she could do this without him even knowing i existed, as her profile was set as 'single' and he was clearly too dense to suspect otherwise.
Following this i ended it, i didnt want to have the fight with her because i know what shes like and would just seize up and give me no satisfaction, ever since than i have given her plenty of opportunities to be honest about it, none of which she has taken up, she practically had a breakdown, became really mopey and was apparently seeing a psychiatrist following this. She has since that done her best to get back with me.
The thing is, the amount of lies this girl must have told in order to get away with this is off the charts, she would always go on about her childhood, past relationships blah blah for her fear of 'commitment' but would assure me its not so she wanted to sleep around, she even pulled off the whole "im not that interested in sex" act.
I guess im just trying to understand why someone would do this, and what benefit it gives them. I am unsure if her attempts to get back with me are simply her wanting male attention or any interest or care. I did feel very close to this girl.
Thankyou for anyone for reading my ramble =)
To cut a long story short, i started seeing a girl at the beginning of this year, it wasnt just a random person, it truely is the girl i wanted to be with. The relationship dynamics never really worked as a normal couple would, despite us clearly being a couple to the people who are friends with us, she did not want it announced to the general public at whole. Something i put up with increasing difficulty for roughly 5 months. I considered myself "lucky" to be with this girl as we got along very well and she was very attractive so i left it.
After a massive fight caused by her flirting refusely with some guy at a party we mutually attended, i decided id go through her facebook in the middle of the night. When doing this i found that she had been leading another guy on and having sex with him on a regular basis. It must have been hard to do so due to the fact i saw her so frequently and never got caught but she somehow pulled it off. The funny thing is because he was not known to anyone i knew, she could do this without him even knowing i existed, as her profile was set as 'single' and he was clearly too dense to suspect otherwise.
Following this i ended it, i didnt want to have the fight with her because i know what shes like and would just seize up and give me no satisfaction, ever since than i have given her plenty of opportunities to be honest about it, none of which she has taken up, she practically had a breakdown, became really mopey and was apparently seeing a psychiatrist following this. She has since that done her best to get back with me.
The thing is, the amount of lies this girl must have told in order to get away with this is off the charts, she would always go on about her childhood, past relationships blah blah for her fear of 'commitment' but would assure me its not so she wanted to sleep around, she even pulled off the whole "im not that interested in sex" act.
I guess im just trying to understand why someone would do this, and what benefit it gives them. I am unsure if her attempts to get back with me are simply her wanting male attention or any interest or care. I did feel very close to this girl.
Thankyou for anyone for reading my ramble =)
It sounds as if she is still inmature and unstable, not knowing what she really want in life or a relationship. She definately has issues with being in an exclusive/committed relationship and it's really up to you wheater you want to attempt to work a relationship out with someone who you no longer trust and is a high candidate for infidelity. You sound like a wise, mature person and you need to re-evaluate the relationship and what is best for you. Good luck...Judy
Thanks for the support, i do agree, but it took me quite a while to get my head around it properly.
We're not actually that young, she is 23 and im 22... Well i guess that sounds young too alot hahah but we're not kids here
And yes, you are right about the wasted more time, she cancelled communication with this other guy and made me aware of it (despite me never actually telling her i knew) so if i didnt find out when i did i may never have known.
We're not actually that young, she is 23 and im 22... Well i guess that sounds young too alot hahah but we're not kids here
And yes, you are right about the wasted more time, she cancelled communication with this other guy and made me aware of it (despite me never actually telling her i knew) so if i didnt find out when i did i may never have known.
I agree, it sounds like she has a problem with commitment or self esteem issues and she gets off on the fact that more than one man wants her. You didn't state her age here so maybe if she's young she isn't ready for a serious relationship. Some people find it exciting playing multiple people. One day she will have it done to her and she will understand the amount of pain that it causes. She just isn't the right person for you. She has to mature and maybe she can get some help through her psychiatrist. Just be thankful that you found out before you spent years of your life with her.
Maybe she likes the attention of more than one partner,,the thrill of the chase so to speek,,its hard to be honest to your partner im guesing when your trying to seek something from some one else,,maybe she just cant comit with one person and always wants a stand by in case of a break up,,she still has someone else to go to,it seems to me by your words she might be afraid of commitment
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