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1254989 tn?1290572457

Mediating through the infedelity

Hi everyone,

My husband and I have been seperated for a short time due to finding out he had been involved with another woman. Never admitted to actual sexual contact but there was alot of secrecy and sneakiness. I'm pretty sure they did more than talk. We were dealing with a m/c that occured this past march and to say the least, not dealing with it well. So after months of turmoil, it was decided he would move out. I was approached last week and told he wishes to try mediation to try and work through this! I've asked him to go to marital counseling and he declined however now I'm being approached with mediation? I don't know what this is about. I'm not even sure if I feel like I can move past what my husband has done to me. So I was wondering have any of you gone through a mediation process to work through an infidelity? I have taken the counseling route for myself and my kids and have kinda been caught off guard with this mediation thing. I was given a letter with a time and place to show up explaining that my husband has requested mediation services. But that was it. I don't know if this is going to be coupled with divorce papers next or what his agenda is as he really hasn't spoken to me that much since moving out a few months ago! Any thoughts or ideas as to what this is about would be helpful! Thanks!
2 Responses
145992 tn?1341345074
From my experience when my friend was contemplating a divorce with her husband, he offered mediation as a simple way to end the marriage.  However, in mediation they were given certain options that could infact save their marriage.  One of the options was to complete 90 days of marital counseling, they were to live separately during that time but continue to do counseling, and try to be amicable about visitation pertaining to their son.  During this process they actually reconnected and rebuilt their relationship.  Her husband had cheated on her with a co-worker so it was difficult but they are working on it.  But counseling was definitely enforced.  Some states actually require it prior to allowing the divorce.  I would talk to an attorney about what your options really are.
1388999 tn?1370042814
It seems that mediation like mami stated is the same as here in Aus.I would definitely take advice on what to do.

The cheek of you husband refusing to go to counselling with you! but get a letter sent to turn up to mediation without a please or thank you.

Who has sent the letter ??  does it come from the Court system ?          if you don't turn up it could be used against you ....so you must get advice.

Here we go again do as I say....... not as I do.
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