Care after a kidney removal

[JRED140]

My husband is  43 years old. Two years ago he had a kidney removed because an x-ray showed a small mass in it. The mass was said to be half the size of a chickpea. He never had a biopsy because he was told it was not possible because of where the mass was located. We asked if we could just wait and see if the mass will grow more, but the first doctor said if we waited, my husband will be risking his life because it might spread quickly and to more of his  internal organs. We got a second opinion in the U.S. and the doctor said the same thing.  After the kidney removal, the pathology showed no cancer. We were happy but very concerned. He was told by both doctors that it was cancer. My husband, who was very active and strong is now very weak, not himself and the worse part is, psychologically is not well.  He wakes up every day thinking that he lost a kidney just like that. He has his ups and downs. I want to know if there is a special care needed now. Is there anything that he should be aware of or if there is anything he should be doing or not doing? I do my part helping him with his diet but there is not much I can do. Any suggestions?  Thank you very  much!

[Angelbreathe]

Hi! I can understand how your husband must feel. I hope for both of you that in time it will get better. I am having a kidney removed for a large mass which has not spread *thankfully* to another organ/lymph nodes. This is not my first go round with cancer. I had breast cancer (caught early) in 1990.  

I was VERY angry for a long time. It was a time to come to terms with the fact that I am mortal. That someday, that I was NOT in control of, I would die. I was angry at everyone, at God, and at myself because I believed I should/could have done something to prevent this from happening.

I can't say it is much much easier this time around but I have a complete understanding of the Stages of Grief which were studied and written about by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her book, "Death and Dying", which is a classic in the field of psychology. One of the Stages of Grief is Anger. And anger that can be this deep turned inwards can lead to depression. I have experienced this firsthand and had to work through it.

I have been through 202 hospitalisations for problems like cancer in the last 30 years and have continued my education in Psychology, am now engaged *at my age! *S* and work when I can do so. Life goes on. I just do what needs to be done today. I live in the now for the most part (except planning honeymoons!) and it is a simpler, better way to live.

You cycle through these stages of grief, the book will tell you much more about. I would go to her website (she is diseased now) here (I hope I can post links here?)

http://www.ekrfoundation.org/about-grief

Or you can buy her book on "Death and Dying" as it helped me tremendously to understand how I was feeling.

It sounds like your husband needs a few things: Time, Perhaps counseling and maybe spiritual support? You know him the best.

In the meantime for yourself, maybe you should get some support as well? I don't know how stressed this is making you but understanding, at least for me, came from knowing much more about what I was dealing with (Caretaker stress is a real issue for support people/family) by reading and learning more, by living healthy and by getting support.

I am having surgery next week. IT is cancer, without a doubt. I know I am powerless over everything except living well, taking care of my body and knowing that how I look at things (my perspective on illness, death, cancer or even living) affects EVERYTHING.

I hope this helps you with this a little bit.

Warmly...
Sherry

[vctow]

swelling in abdomen 8 months after kidney removal look like i am 7 months pregnant which i am not . does anyone have any advice out there. my doctors seem like they do not have a clue of what is wrong .

[driinii]

Hi,
my grandfather is 65 years old and he has cyst in his kidney, and most probably will go in surgery...
I would like you to ask, do you know any "TEA" or anything that would help him?

Drini

[JRED140]

Hi!

   I would like to thank you very much for taking the time to  write to me. My husband is doing much better now. He still does almost everything as before, except lift weights because his doctor told  him not to. He is also doing better psychologically, but once in a while he still gets upset about loosing a healthy kidney. This is frustrating to me because he does not  want to see  a counselor, but his moodiness is getting better with each passing day. Again, thank you for your comment and I wish you a happy, healthy life!!!! take care.

[JRED140]

Hi

Thank you for your comment. My husband is doing fine.  He still very active, takes vitamins and does  some cardio. Psychologically is feeling much better, but once  in  a while he does get a little "blue". He does not want to see a counselor,  so I am still working on it. Again, thank you very much!

[rachelsma]

Hi,
I had my kidney out in 2000 due to a mass. It sounds like your husband is reeling emotionally from what happened. One kidney is not an issue to live with...so maybe some counsellling about how he is feeling??

Best wishes to you both.

[Dr Santos]

Hi,
How is your husband? The outcome is usually good when a single kidney is removed. There is no problem with returning to his usual activities. However, regular monitoring and follow-up is important to check for his blood pressure, body fluid balance, blood chemistry, and electrolyte levels. If it has been 2 years already, and he is psychologically not well, he may need to be checked by a psychologist to move on.  Take care and do keep us posted.