For everyone

[sandra73721]

My name is Sandra and im sittig here in the hospital next to my beloved aunt Martha who has final stage liver failure  She is very sick has been in and out of hopitsls,rehabs and Hospice facilities  She lives here in clearwater and I came from NJ to be with her a few days  For me its very important to see her and tell her we are with her and love her very much. This has been a long hard journey and it breaks my heart to see her suffer  She has always been a fun loving happy person who loves to laugh!  My uncle and and aunt never had kids and they are basically alone here in FL  Very hard for him  My heart goes out for him too.

I read a lot on the internet about final stage liver failure inorder to educate myself and help understand what she is going through and I feel it helps to cope  

I feel her end is near. She tells me she feels very sad.  I tell her not to be. I tell her the most important thing is to be in peace and not worry about anything. I told her to remember her faith and if God calls for her not be scared and to remember she has her mother waiting for her on the other side.

Tomorrow i must fly back to NJ and leaving her will be heartbreaking for me.  I am very aware I will probally not see her again. I do not plan to say bye to her but will say i will see you soon again  

I dont think there is anything that prepares you to loose a loved one but for me remembering my faith helps me get through the day! Also rembering all the good times with her!

[HectorSF]

I am very sorry you are going through seeing liver disease take your aunt's life. It is a horrible way to die. Luckily she won't know what happens at the end.

You are right, nothing prepares us for the death of a loved one. to never see that person again is a great loss.

I also feel very sad for your uncle who will have to see her near the end. I trust that hospice is giving her everything to relieve any pain she may be experiencing.

Just a word of advice to do with what you like...
People that are dying find it insulting when a person who is not dying and has no concept of what they are going through gives them advice on what they should feel or think. Most people are sad about dying. If I person enjoys life they are sad to be losing it. It doesn't work in life and it certainly doesn't work when someone is facing death. People who are dying want others to listen to them. This is one of the last time they will ever be able to express what is on their minds. Please let them say what they want and need to say. Remember, just because someone is dying doesn't mean they have become mentally disabled too. It is rarely discussed if ever what a dying person wants and doesn't want. People that are dying want support/love not advice. Advice is pointless anyway as they will unfortunately be dead soon. Love and support is all that means anything after everything else has been stripped away. Love and caring makes them feel safe and find whatever peace they can. That is what we all want in life and even more so as we are about to loose everybody and everything we have even known. Dying people are deal with things that anyone who hasn't faced death never understand.

Should your uncle need support and feel sad because he has lost his beloved wife I hope you will listen to him and accept his feelings for what they are and tell him he shouldn't be sad. He needs to grieve. He will be experiencing the loss of the woman he loves and all their memories together. That is normal and human to miss the person your love just as your aunt is going to miss your uncle.

It is your uncle's feelings. Not yours or mine or anyone elses. Thoughts and feeling are not right or wrong. It is only how we act on them that has any consequences. Thoughts and feeling are what they are.

I wish you, your aunt and uncle lots of love and strength during this very difficult time. Be well and always keep your aunt and your good memories in your heart. In that way she will continue to live beyond her time.

Hector

[dontworry_behappy1]

I'm so sorry for your pain.  Your beloved aunt Martha must be very important
aunt to you.  This must be very hard for you.  Just remember this time you are spending with her is very important.  Make this a good memory for you
both.  

Best to You...Takecare