Husband has lung cancer

[nadasharon]

My husband has terminal lung cancer.He is 47 years old and was given a year to live 2 years ago.He is still here but things are not so good.He has a lot of pain and has made me promise him not to sen him away to die.I am afraid of whats coming.How do you cope with this?

[Lindylou72]

My Uncle is dealing with lung cancer and some of his therapy is complicated but other problems. My Mother is very concerned and keeps looking to me for answers. I am trying to help with only half answers, I am not sure what type on cancer (small or non-small cel) stage or placement of the cancer. My uncle feels his Dr. knows and that is  all that is important.

He also has a heart problem that needs a shunt, but that has been put off since the cancer was founf, he also has a problem with developing clots in his legs, so he needs blood thinner, but he has a rare blood disease that causes his capillaries to leak if his blood gets too thin.

In the past year he has tried 3 different Chemo regiments, but they get set off track often because he ends up in the hospital for blood clots or bleeding problems(he got 8 units of blood in 3 days one time).

This combination of problems has made it difficult to participate in daily activities he used to enjoy. He has become severly depressed and fatalistic, he says if the cancer does't likk him the bleeding will or if not then it will be a blood cot. He is only 69 I still consider this young when I have other relatives hanging in there at 83-85.

Any suggestion appreciated

[Kormina]

I can't begin to know what you are feeling but I do empathize. My heart just aches with you. It is just so unfair. Try to remember that although his physical strength is deteriorating, that his inner strength can flourish. You are just the person that can help him with that. Even though it seems impossible, I hope you find the strength deep down within. Have you tried connecting with a support group in your area? Knowing that there are people out there experiencing the very same doubts and fears and meeting, sharing and growing with them might help both of you tremendously. I wish you and you husband continued fortitude... (((HUGS)))

[nadasharon]

Its so hard to be strong sometimes.I try my hardest to be strong but sometimes its just so overwhelming,knowing you can't do anything to change the situation.My husband Andy also refused treatment.I think its because he watched his mother die 13 years ago,watched the Dr.s remove parts of her body as she got sicker.The end result was the same.She also had cancer.He went to visit her grave today and came home and cried.I just hate seeing such a strong guy who used to be able to carry a washing machine up 3 flights of stairs slowly losing all that he was.It breaks my heart and I am so sad.I try to be positive but it doesn't seem that its enough.I thank you for caring.Today is just not a great day.I am tired and discouraged.

[Kormina]

Your post reminded me of my Uncle's battle with cancer 10+ years ago. He too, was very young... Without knowing your husbands situation, I can only tell you of our family's situation and hope that you find some sort of strength and comfort to find your own way of coping. My uncle refused all medical treatment (chemo, surgery etc...) and hung on for almost 8 years if my memory serves me. I do know that what kept him going during those bad bouts of pain were the painkillers. That was the only medical assistance he would accept, although it was extremely hard sometimes the number top priority was "comfort". Try to get him as comfortable as possible, not just physically, but also emotionally or if you are (spiritually). People, places and things of interest and/or comfort to him. I can only imagine your fear of the unknown and what is to come. But just take it one moment, one day at a time. Concentrate on the NOW and not what is to come. Of course your husband is priority number one for you now, but please don't forget to take care of yourself as well. Ask for help from family or friends if you are feeling run down. You will need your strength to be present for your husband, he needs your encouragement - no one can/should have to deal with adversity alone. Keeping you in my thoughts!