Baby shower *VENT*

[Aliciaw]

I need to get this out! I am going to start off by saying I love my family but...

My sister is so frustrating!! She thinks everything has to be about her and what she wants. Okay I got married in November and it was supposed to be the happiest time of my life right? Wrong!! Because of my sister I was pretty close to calling off my wedding all together. She kept having me change the date and time for when she could be there and what fit her schedule. Now it is happening with my baby shower. I hadn't heard anything about it yet so I emailed my mom and sister to see what was going on with it. If they had set a date or anything because the date my mom and I had talked about is only 3 weeks away. Well my other sister writes back and says that it isn't even January yet and that we would probably do it at the begining of February. And I said that we had originally said it would be Janurary 22nd and she responded with "Well I can tell you now that Arlene won't want to do it that month as Maddie and Shawn's Birthday is that month and since when did the pregnant woman decide the date???" That made me so mad! I wrote back and said that's fine I don't even need a shower. So she got with Arlene and they decided on February 12th. Am I out of line for being upset about this? I know I am not supposed to be involved with the planning of the shower but I was getting worried as I hadn't heard anything and needed to know when I needed to get addresses together for the invitations. Am I wrong for feeling like my sister is ruining my baby shower?

Do any of you ladies have an idea on when y'alls will be? Maybe I am just being extra sensitive.

[spiritwolf31]

I know how you feel. We scheduled my c-section for Feb 22nd but we are already preparing for his arrival early cuz I am already dialated 1cm. I told my MIL as much as my cuz wants to do baby shower if it gets too late then I would rather do without one cuz I want to enjoy it just as everyone else that comes!

I hope things go the right way for you and dont stress you out too much. Right now is the time you should be focusing on your baby and not need to be worried with stubborn family members and I hate that you are not enjoying this time right now   =(

[Aliciaw]

That is exactly how I feel. I don't want to have the Baby Shower too late to where I won't even enjoy it. With the way the baby and my belly have been measuring I could easily have him 2 weeks early but I know he will come when he is ready. And if he does happen to come 2 weeks early than that will be 2 weeks after the shower and I will be completely miserable and not be able to enjoy myself. But it seems like my sisters can't see my side of it. At my next appt on the 4th I am going to ask my Doctor if she thinks he could come early and by what she says I might have them do the Shower as originally talked about in late January.

[spiritwolf31]

I think choosing your own date is not only a smart thing to do but in your right as the preggo person. I agree that a baby shower is about you and your baby and no one else and if they cant understand that then they have issues they need to work out. I dont know bout anyone else but the last I checked a due date was a guesstimation and not a set date. You can have the baby earlier than later and it is only wise to have all set up before the baby's arrival cuz once he/she is here we are tired from the whole delivery process and just thinking about last minute shopping is daunting enough. Besides, the further you get the less you feel like participating in any type of party cuz 1) WE ARE TIRED, 2) WE ARE TIRED...lol, 3) We are uncomfortable, and 4) We all know by now that are bellies just dont have much room for the goodies at the shower and that just plain makes us cranky!!

I didnt have showers for my first two sons but my cuz is determined to give me one with this baby. I could care less (no offense to her) because I found with my first two that I like relying on myself that way I know I have what I need when I need it and there is no fuss. Not to mention my family doesnt exactly like dear daddy's family and the tension will be a nightmare to say the least.

This is your and your baby's time and that does not include anyone else's schedules. If they cant be there for you on your time for this then your decision on whatever you choose is your own to do and well within your right! Holidays, birthdays, and even anniversaries come every year..the birth of your baby only comes once and a little sacrifice from family to adapt to your schedule will not hurt them at all!

[rbohl01]

I agree you have absolutely every right to have a say in the date of your shower. How ridiculous.

I am also not having a shower. I really didn't want one. I had one for my son who is 9 now. I know I have a right to have one since I have nothing and this is liek starting from scratch but I really didnt care. My MIL is pissy with me about this of course but her idea of a shower is much different than mine. To be honest what I remember from my shower was only a small fraction of people getting items from my registry. Mostly everyone got me baby clothes, and most of them I didnt like. I am really particular about the things I want for my baby. I guess a shower just isnt worth the hassle to me.

Since this is your first baby you should definitely have one but you should also get some sort of say in it. Good luck to you. Your sister sounds much like my sister in law lol

[mmeriche]

i think you definitely have a right to choose the date for your shower. or at least have a say! the shower is about you and your baby, nobody else. what if you would rather have one sooner than later, so you can have time to figure out what you still need before baby arrives? maybe you would want to have it sooner than later so you won't be quite as tired/uncomfortable? it is frustrating when others are involved, and misunderstandings/stepping on other's toes is bound to happen. not fun when it does, though.

i am not having a shower. the majority of my family and friends live in other states, so i decided that it wasn't feasible. if it makes you feel any better.. you can look forward to actually getting things off your registry. i made it crystal clear that all we wanted for christmas this year was cash or items off our registry. what did we end up with? one baby outfit, some cash (thankfully) - and a wii gaming system. not that i don't appreciate the wii - but i mean, is this really what they think we actually wanted or needed right now? did they not understand that we would have rather had the cash, or things like the car seat or breast pump, perhaps?! so, as you can see, every family has their faults.

hope you feel better about it soon. it will be a great time when it does happen. enjoy it as much as you can, even if you feel your sister is being selfish. you will be the one leaving it with tons of stuff for your baby in-hand, and at that point, you'll probably forget how frustrating the process has been. <3