MedHelp Members Community
197 Members
Avatar universal

Delusional Boyfriend Sees Things That Aren't Happening

I would like to know how to go about helping someone to see that they have delusional disorder. My boyfriend swears he sees me doing things right in front of him that I am not doing, and thinks I am only doing it to upset him or mess with his head and when I try to tell him I'm doing doing any of those things, he gets very angry and calls me a liar, and lately has started hitting me because he gets so mad that I am supposedly doing things right in front of him and then denying it. Once I set up a hidden camera so that I could record us while we were together so that when he started with his accusations I could pull out the video and we could watch it together and I could prove I wasn't doing anything, but he found the camera almost right away and was furious with me for trying to secretly record him, although he didn't know my intention behind doing so. He has even gone so far as to say he has videos of me doing the things he accuses me of, yet when I ask him to show me he says no because he shouldn't have to because I know what I do. He must be staring at a blank screen or something when he thinks he is watching these "videos". His accusations are so ridiculous that at first I thought he was making stuff up just to cause an argument so that he could get mad and leave or break up with me, but it's been going on for over 2 years and I think he really believes what he says. I asked him why no one else has ever seen me doing any of the things he accuses me of, and he responds by saying that I have just gotten that good at hiding it. Several months ago I sat him down and told him I loved  him and that this problem seemed to be bigger than we could handle, and I chose my words carefully so as not to seem as if I was saying anything was wrong with him or placing any blame on him, and suggested that we seek outside professional help because whatever the problem may be, they would surely help us resolve it, one way or another, so we could be happy together.  He barely gave any thought to what I was saying because he is so convinced that I am a liar and that he is right, that he didn't even consider the option. I don't know how to help him or to find someone else ton help him if he can't even see there's something wrong. The video recording would have been very valuable if he hadn't found the camera because it would have been undeniable proof and he would have to see then that there was something wrong with him if he truly believed the things he accused me of. Do you have any suggestions as to any other approaches or things I could try to help him see he has a problem? Not only is my heart broken but now I am fearful around him because he gets so angry, and it's not like I can stop doing something I'm not doing, so I have no way of controlling the situation. I walk on eggshells now, and am a nervous wreck when I am with him because I spend the whole time analyzing my every move before I make it, so as not to do anything he might misconstrue, therefore leading to another argument, and possibly, physical violence. Please help me....
1 Responses
144586 tn?1284666164
The diagnosis is paranoia vera and there is nothing you can do to help him. He isn't going to get better. He's going to get worse. This is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The answer is to "Get your feet a walking and don't stop...."
Popular Resources
For people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the COVID-19 pandemic can be particularly challenging.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Here’s how your baby’s growing in your body each week.
These common ADD/ADHD myths could already be hurting your child
This article will tell you more about strength training at home, giving you some options that require little to no equipment.
In You Can Prevent a Stroke, Dr. Joshua Yamamoto and Dr. Kristin Thomas help us understand what we can do to prevent a stroke.