Ldywind, often when we have a devastating loss, we focus our grief on something kind of unimportant. A doctor's cold attitude, learning on facebook that your loved one passed away, a feeling that the autopsy was delayed and now we'll never learn the cause of death, etc.
You will never get over this. With great love, comes great grief. Learning the specifics of what caused her death - an aneurism, a stroke, an overdose of a Rx drug, will not bring you comfort. You are focused on the frustration that you can't learn the cause of death, and you believe that will bring you comfort. It won't.
You were devastated by her death before the coroner told you they couldn't find the cause of death, honey. You were already devastated by the loss of your lovely daughter.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. It is because she was a lovely girl, and you and she had such a wonderful relationship, that you are in such pain. As hard as it is, enjoy the love and the joy you had with your wonderful daughter in your memory.
I know this post is coming up on two months old. I would like to tell you how very sorry I am that you lost your beautiful daughter. My daughter is an only child that's close to your daughters age. I know I would lose my mind if anything ever happened to her. We almost lost her once and it took me a long time to get over that. I feel so blessed every single day that we still have her here with us.
I do think it makes a difference to know how a loved one passes. For some reason if it's not obvious how they passed we feel the need to know what happened.
I really wish the coroner would have told you from the beginning that they were so backed up that it would take weeks. Then maybe you could have taken her some where else. I don't know if they did a blood toxicology when she first got there. If they didn't then maybe being in the cold for so long may have made a difference. I'm not sure.
I'll pray for you because no mother should ever have to go through this. We're supposed to go before our children but it doesn't always work out that way. Your post and what happened to your daughter really touched my heart.
We have a grief forum here at Medhelp. I think it would be a good idea to post there. Of course we're here for you too any time you want to talk.