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564024 tn?1224111636

Ladies, would you ever do this?

I've been on yahoo... and there was a woman who posted something about her grandchildren. Ages nine, eight, and three. She made her children go to bed at 7:30 school day or not. Now that she's watching her grandchildren while the parents go out for a night on the town... she's wanting to make them ALL go to bed no later than 8:00. It's a friday. But, what I'm having a hard time understanding is why would you make a nine year old go to bed the same time as a three year old? Or even the eight year old. What's wrong with them staying up to ATLEAST 10:00? Yeah, they need sleep just as much as everyone else..but, there's no school  the next day. I can understand waking up early on a Sunday because there's church and other things to do then...She told her daughter "my house my rules" and that's fine. But, shouldn't the daughter get some say so since they are HER children? Idk.
Does anyone feel a 9 year old should be forced to go to bed that early? If its not a school night?
She also claimed that the 9 year old is more favoured at home because he doesn't have to go to bed at the same times as they younger ones on weekends. But, he's older? It makes sense to me.



This is just what I seen on yahoo, so feel free to comment. I have yet to figure out this woman! :0)
25 Responses
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592774 tn?1325393742
Not all grandmas want to spoil their grand-kids. Some of them want to use that Grandma time to "fix" everything they "think" the parents are doing wrong to "save" them from a horrible future due to disorganized parenting ;-).  My mother lives out of state and based on the things I hear over the phone from her about the local grandkids and witness when she brings my nephews to visit us, she will NEVER have my kids alone. She undermines and criticises the parents to the grandkids. She obsesses on teaching them to be neat to the point that my kids do not like to be around her. She can't just be fun.
I went to visit her with my 3 kids and I had to be very strong and keep telling her to cut it out and have fun.  
If the Grandma is a perfectionist, she may be using the bedtime to teach the kids routine, not just wanting to get rid of them. (I am not supporting her, just giving a different motivation)
My mother can't/won't change and knows that is why she only sees the kids with me or DH around. She also has been told and believes me, that if she ever undermines us again to them she will never see them or hear from them until they are out of our house. (She pulled that stunt once!)
It can be convenient to have the grandparents watch the kids, but for some the cost is too great!
Helpful - 0
212720 tn?1304375415
Oh I hear ya. DH comes home from work and thinks his day is over and makes a 7&7. Here I am with hours of things left to do. I would love if Quinn took naps until she is in kindergarten at least. ;)

Really drives me nuts as I also work a full time job and it is still expected that Mom run the household and take care of everything.  I need a vacation...
Helpful - 0
150937 tn?1235943880
I hear you...but I prefer my JACK...he's the man!!!     I    L O V E    NAPTIME!!!!  I wish someone would put me to bed early and handle all the rest of the dreaded housework.  (making lunches, finishing the dishes, laundry etc....it never ends around here!!!)  (well, maybe, it's because I never start!! LOL )
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212720 tn?1304375415
I live for nap times and early to bed.... LOL she is just 21 months so I can get away with it. When she is older of course bed time will be later. But right now bed time is 7:30 and that is when Mommy breaks out the rum and coke. Oh Capt Morgan I love you....
Helpful - 0
150937 tn?1235943880
All 3 of My children require the same amount of sleep.  I have a 22month old, a 8 year old and an almost 10 year old.  I put them to bed at the same time MOST nights.  Bedtime is 8:30pm.  If I don't, I pay for it...especially from the oldest.  He gets SUPER grumpy without 10+ hours of sleep a night.  My middle child is the one who needs the least sleep.  

Some kids just need the sleep, and YES some parents/grandparents just need the "QUIET TIME"!    There are days when "I" need the "QUIET" time, but not always!  And usually if my kids go to grandparents house...(MY PARENTS)... go to bed at 8pm...so they stay up a little longer with the grandkids over, but usually they have had an action packed day, and my kids are EXHAUSTED !  Believe me, even if they go to bed at 7:30pm, they still want to go back to their grandparents house...they have FUN there, and they love them!
Helpful - 0
564024 tn?1224111636
I understand you completely peek. That's why I posted this because I dont know who wouldn't want to spend time with their kids/grandkids. It's just like... okay you have children... You realize you might become a grandparent one day... so when it comes they seem to be pushed away. Just my thought on that.. So...idk.

But I know how it felt. I won't get into any details because some may be too graphic and/or hard to get out. So we'll just wait on that. But, things get better :)
Helpful - 0
389974 tn?1331015242
Swampy can't remember when he went to bed as a child, but he sure remembers not sleeping.

He had terrible insomnia. His brother, in contrast, could sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

In fact, Swampy's brother to this day goes to bed at 9:30-10 (and wakes up at 5:30), and Swampy tries to sleep starting around midnight and when he wakes, nobody knows.

Haha! Swampy's brother has a 2 week old daughter. This has changed his schedule considerably.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh Peek, that is awful! Sorry you had to live through that. But that which does not kill us makes us stronger as they say! At least in Steel Magnolias...
Helpful - 0
21064 tn?1309308733
My Dad said they always went to bed at 7:30 (three of them, 5 years apart).    

Doesn't seem like too big a deal as long as they have quality time with grandma while they are awake.  Maybe the older kids are allowed to read in bed.  That always helped with our kids.
Helpful - 0
210400 tn?1325380570
I do see the going to bed earlier on school nights although all my kids are still young I do have my 7 year old go to bed by oh 8:30-9 on a school night...but she stayed up last night until 9:30 (although I sure could have handled going to bed earlier lol).
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well, Peek... I guess it was best they sent you to bed early. I'm sorry to hear that's how it was.
Helpful - 0
172023 tn?1334672284
My parents made up go to bed every night at about 7 or 7:30, and RR is right.  They wanted to be rid of us.

Happy hour started at our house at that precise time.  Or....unhappy hour.  We'd lay awake, listening to the fights, arguing, throwing of breakables...

We were quite happy to be in bed.  
Helpful - 0
564024 tn?1224111636
see most of you get my point! It just makes me wonder! lol
If I were a grandmother, I would spoil the c r a p outta them! Although, I would go with what the mother says about the bed time. Their mother knows best. So, grandmother should just go with it...Let's see.. some kids don't get home until, 3:30-4:00 from school.. that leaves homework, maybe even little chores, dinner, bath time, getting ready for bed, There's no time for playing when their that young. Just as I see it..




And, no it's not being hung up on someones issues. The woman asked for help with her daughter giving lip about the children. That basically brings you into her life.

I see no bonding time with the way the grandmother has it. :( My grandmother used to let me stay up until 11:00. Ahhh, the good days when I thought I was being bad! haha.
Helpful - 0
471161 tn?1317190950
It seems to me a grandmother would want to spoil them a bit and let them stay up past bedtime.  Isn't it a gradmas job to spoil them and send them home??  lol  I would.  But seriously, if my daughter had a child I would do whatever my daughter asked me to do to keep the child on a schedule.  Now I know my next door neighbor has an 8 year old and she has to go to bed at 8pm during the week.  I thought that was way too early until I got to know them better and realized that she can't function the next day at school without 9-10 hours of sleep and they get up at 5:30 each morning.  They definitly aren't trying to "get rid of her at night" because she and her mom (my friend) spend time together before school doing yoga and exercising together before school and have breakfast together.  I think some children just need more sleep than others.  I never had to deal with this problem with my daughter as she would come to me and say, "Mommy I'm tired, I want to go to bed".  And it may have been 8:00 or 9:00 but she always got sleepy and didn't fight it and she always woke up and got ready on time the next morning.  As far as a different bedtime on the weekends, I think it depends on the child and whether or not they can do that and get back on track after the weekend.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Okay, my 3 year old and my toddler go to bed at 7:30 together. But if my child was 8 or 9 they'd get to stay up later! Some nights I let my 3 year old stay up later than her baby sister so we can cuddle and talk (usually on the nights Daddy is late at work).

Plus, the grandmother needs to abide by the MOTHER'S wishes. How unfair for those kids! I bet they hate going to their grandma's house and just lay there wishing they were at home. I know *I* would if I was those kids! Does she want the children to despise her?

Sounds to me like she just doesn't want to take care of them.
Helpful - 0
518031 tn?1295575374
i guess it is up to the PARENTS to decide when they want their kids in bed. i think for a 9 or 10 yr old 8  oclock is to early but hay its their kids so they set the rules
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
RockRose...I agree with you. I don't know how they get homework done have dinner and spend any time with their parents. Again...younger kiddos...like infants & toddlers.. that's different.
Have a good night! :)
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
I never understood families who make their kids to go bed at such an early time.  Actually,  yes I do.  They want to be rid of their kids.

My best friend grew up having to go to bed at dark,  summer or winter.  Which,  in Indiana,  means 5 p.m.  in January.  Her mother was extremely depressed all her childhood and just wanted for God's sake to put the kids somewhere.

7:30 at night for school children is just a lazy,  lazy parent.
Helpful - 0
601038 tn?1240252893
You asked I gave my opinion, carry on...isn't it good we are all different think how borring this life would be if we where all the same...peace :)
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Avatar universal
We were just having a conversation about childrens bedtimes. We aren't hung up in other peoples issues.
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601038 tn?1240252893
If you want to soar with eagles you can't stay up with the owls LOL :)
I just think people get too hung up on other people issues.  I'm a strong believer in taking care of your own buisness.
God entrusted my children to me and I will raise them in the way God sets the rules not me...but like I said that's just one persons opionion carry on :)
Peace :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Starfish...I'm not sure what exactly what your comment meant. We were just having a general conversation about kids bedtimes and someone sending their kid to bed before dusk.
Helpful - 0
601038 tn?1240252893
Myself I think people should clean out their own closets before digging around in others.  But hey that's just one persons opinion :)
Peace
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564024 tn?1224111636
haha! 2 cents! lol :P


well the woman insists of treating them like their HER children like the mother has no say so. But, if she wanted to give lip about them and their bed time, then why did she agree to babysit I wonder. During the week, yes they should be in bed at the same time everynight, but 7:30 is still a little early I think... weekends you have only TWO days you can stay up a little later. So I wouldn't see why it would hurt anyone. They should follow her rules, but she should also stick with the mothers rule about the sleeping arrangements.


And a few people on yahoo agreed with you about getting them out of her hair. That's what it's sort of pointing to. Sheesh.. Idk! hehehehe.
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