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Ways To Annoy People
Oh, come on! It's just a joke!
Here are some things you can do to annoy people and leave them scratching their heads.
Sing incessantly.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
Never make eye contact.
Never break eye contact.
Sniffle incessantly.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Invent nonsense jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a Howard Cosell voice.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask telephone operators out for dates.
Set alarms for random times.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Ask people: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Ask people what gender they are.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Wear a LOT of cologne or perfume.
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook.
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
Here are some things you can do to annoy people and leave them scratching their heads.
Sing incessantly.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
Never make eye contact.
Never break eye contact.
Sniffle incessantly.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Invent nonsense jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a Howard Cosell voice.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask telephone operators out for dates.
Set alarms for random times.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Ask people: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Ask people what gender they are.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Wear a LOT of cologne or perfume.
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook.
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
A boss of mine got a telemarketer selling siding and windows. So my friend sounded very interested in everything he was being sold. he thought the guy was drawing up the papers on everything and said "Ya know? I should probably ask the landlord before I agree to all of this" Click.
He's probaly the reason they now ask, "do you own your home?"
He's probaly the reason they now ask, "do you own your home?"
Granny: I agree.. ever tried talking to him or has anyone ever tried?
When your own sister doesn't know who you are anymore, I think it means you are more than a funny man. I think it means you could possibly be a real threat to society.
April: Hehe that's great. I wish I was good like that on the phone but they always try to tell me how I'm passing up a great deal and what not. lol
Granny: I could understand why you wouldn't accept his food lol. What a character but at some point enough is enough. It's funny if everyone can laugh with you..
Granny: I could understand why you wouldn't accept his food lol. What a character but at some point enough is enough. It's funny if everyone can laugh with you..
It really was funny, he was like "So, where are you calling from? Really? How's the weather there? I bet you've got great skiing there! So, are you a skier?" I mean, he kept going on and on, totally threw this guy off, I think.
Finally he was like "Guess I'd better let you go, wouldn't want you to get in trouble with your boss! It was great talking to you!" He hangs up smiling and I'm just looking at him in disbelief, shaking my head. Lol.
Finally he was like "Guess I'd better let you go, wouldn't want you to get in trouble with your boss! It was great talking to you!" He hangs up smiling and I'm just looking at him in disbelief, shaking my head. Lol.
I would have been peeing myself. That is funny stuff! I will have to pass it along to my mother in law. She gets those calls every day.
Telemarketers have always annoyed us. What really annoyed me is my husband would talk to them! Finally one day I listened in amusement to my husband talk to this telemarketer for a good 10 minutes. He goodnaturedley told the guy that he wished he could help him out but couldn't buy what he was selling, then immediately changed the subject and asked where he was calling from. I think he threw the guy off guard at first. He just kept talking to him asking how he liked his job, etc. He asked how the skiing was there and was he a skier? I mean, he just kept going on and on. I think he distracted the guy so much he almost forgot why he had called in the first place! It was actually kind of funny!
I have a brother who was a bad, bad boy at his job of many years. He actually rubbed insulation on the toilet paper roll at work, just to see who came out of the men's room scratching. He would also get onto the intercom and make disgusting animal noises and the like. The other things he did were just so unspeakable that I cannot even repeat them. Let's just say he got fired and it was a well deserved firing. I think, and I hate to say it, but, he is a bit on the psychotic side. Let's just say that he has tried to get me to eat food that he has prepared, and after the description of some of the things he had done to co workers, I have always passed on any food offerings. Can you imagine having to work with somebody like that? I stay away.
HAHA I know what you mean. My brother and I get that all the time.. I think I get it because I don't usually see some people around because I moved and when I go back, I see everyone and end up talking about nothing in particular lol.
My brother usually gets home at like 10 and wants to go to bed at his apartment and whenever he comes home everyone at the apartment wants to talk to him. lol It's like he needs an invisible cloak. :D
My brother usually gets home at like 10 and wants to go to bed at his apartment and whenever he comes home everyone at the apartment wants to talk to him. lol It's like he needs an invisible cloak. :D
Anybody else?
What about those people who keep talking, and talking, and talking, and talking, and you try to get off the phone, but they won't let you, but they also won't let you get a word in, edgewise? Or, the ones who, after a prolonged and painful goodbys, finally let you leave the house, you get to the car, they stand beside your vehicle talking, and talking, and talking, and talking, and when you turn on the ignition, they are still talking, and even follow you down the drive a bit. I know three people like that. Two are in -aws, and one is our neighbor down the road. You gotta love em. They're just glad to see you, I guess, but man! Is it ever exasperating! Or, how about when some slovenly drunk relative calls you up drunk to apologize for imaginary deeds they have done against you, and you keep telling them they didn't do anything to make you mad, but they have a loop set up in the conversation? Just makes you want to scream! They really can't help it, though, so you listen, and hope they will fall asleep on the phone. lol. Now I'm amused.
What about those people who keep talking, and talking, and talking, and talking, and you try to get off the phone, but they won't let you, but they also won't let you get a word in, edgewise? Or, the ones who, after a prolonged and painful goodbys, finally let you leave the house, you get to the car, they stand beside your vehicle talking, and talking, and talking, and talking, and when you turn on the ignition, they are still talking, and even follow you down the drive a bit. I know three people like that. Two are in -aws, and one is our neighbor down the road. You gotta love em. They're just glad to see you, I guess, but man! Is it ever exasperating! Or, how about when some slovenly drunk relative calls you up drunk to apologize for imaginary deeds they have done against you, and you keep telling them they didn't do anything to make you mad, but they have a loop set up in the conversation? Just makes you want to scream! They really can't help it, though, so you listen, and hope they will fall asleep on the phone. lol. Now I'm amused.
Haha! Those are funny! I would choke somebody! lol Thanks for sharing.
Take your friend's stuff and insist that you have no idea how you got it.
Laugh at everything even when it's not funny.
Make weird noises and then ask where they are coming from
Sing all conversations
Follow people around and have a conversation with them even when they are in the restroom
Give people dirty looks when they are trying to have a serious conversation with you
Laugh at everything even when it's not funny.
Make weird noises and then ask where they are coming from
Sing all conversations
Follow people around and have a conversation with them even when they are in the restroom
Give people dirty looks when they are trying to have a serious conversation with you
Haha I know huh it's funny :D
granny, I love it! ... I also like the one that asks people what gender they are.
Hey, now. Back off that, girlfriend! That's our peeps! Hehe:)
oh you are a card ....I love the one ask people what sex they are .......lol can I do that here on MH lol
OMG! tbabi, I love it!!!!
I think I've heard this before but I think it's labeled great ways to annoy people at work. I've heard of a bunch of people doing this in a office setting..
- At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
- Insist that your e-mail address be xena-goddess-of-***@**** or elvis-the-***@****.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN.'
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favours".
- Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
- Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
- Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
- Don't use any punctuation
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Ask people what sex they are.
- Specify that your drive through order is "to go."
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
- Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
- Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
- Five days in advance tell your co-workers you can't attend the social event because you're not in the mood.
- Pretend your phone is a CB when talking with clients.
- At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
- Insist that your e-mail address be xena-goddess-of-***@**** or elvis-the-***@****.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN.'
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favours".
- Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
- Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
- Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
- Don't use any punctuation
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Ask people what sex they are.
- Specify that your drive through order is "to go."
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
- Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
- Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
- Five days in advance tell your co-workers you can't attend the social event because you're not in the mood.
- Pretend your phone is a CB when talking with clients.
oh dont tell me that ...lol spoilsport .....tell you what I snicker as I have done some of them ...but... I cant say they were purposeful I am just naive ......when I want to be ....hey what was that about the hairdryer ???.
Oh, I did not make these up. You give me too much credit. Someone just gave me a copy and I thought it was funny.
Cute! Thanks for sharing!
haq ha ha brilliant granny... you are so witty ...
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