How Fights Start.......
> > >
> > >
> > > One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
> > > as a Christmas gift..
> > > The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
> > > When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used
> > the
> > > gift I bought you last year!"
> > > And that's how the fight started.....
> > > ====================================================
> > >
> > > I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
> > > It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
> > > 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
> > > So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
> > > And that's when the fight started....
> > > ====================================================
> > >
> > > My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we
> > were
> > > in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
> > > 'No,' she answered.
> > > I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
> > > She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
> > > So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
> > > And that's when the fight started....
> > > ======================================================
> > >
> > > I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
> > $14.95.
> > > Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the
> > beer
> > > would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
> > > And that's when the fight started......
> > > ================================================================
> > >
> > > I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
> > > order first..
> > > 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
> > > He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
> > > 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
> > > And that's when the fight started.....
> > > ===================================================================
> > >
> > >
> > > My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
> > > the channels.
> > > She asked, 'What's on TV?'
> > > I said, 'Dust.'
> > > And then the fight started...
> > >
> > >
> > ======================================================================
> > >
> > > My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
> > > anniversary.
> > > She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
> > > 200 in about 3 seconds.'
> > > I bought her a scale.
> > > And then the fight started...
> > >
> > >
> > ====================================================================
> > >
> > > My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
> > > reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink
> > as
> > > he sat alone at a nearby table.
> > > I asked her , 'Do you know him?'
> > >
> > > 'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend...
> > > I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many
> > years
> > > ago, and
> > > I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
> > > 'My God!' I said, 'who would think a
> > > person could go on celebrating that long?'
> > >
> > > And then the fight started...
> > >
> > > ===========================================================
> > >
> > > I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were
> > > alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
> > You
> > > know
> > > how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
> > seem
> > > funny?
> > > Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
> > > He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
> > > 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
> > > So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
> > > And then the fight started...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > ==========================================================================
> > > ==
> > >
> > > SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST ..
> > >
> > >
> > > THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
> > >
> > > When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
> > > kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
> > > But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
> > > first, the truck, the car, playing golf '
> > > Always something more important to me.
> > >
> > > Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When
> > > I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
> > > busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
> > > I watched silently for a short time and then went into the
> > > house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed
> > > her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass,
> > > you might as well sweep the driveway.'
> > >
> > > The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
> > >
> > >