Avatar universal

How do i help my husband with his memory?

I have been with my husband for 5 years and over the past 2 years I've felt that he's forgotten conversations that we've had.  Only 2 weeks ago I told him about a test that I had and he has no recollection of the conversation at all.  He says that I make up the conversations and that I never told him.  This has happened a lot and I can tell him his responses from the conversations but he says that I'm lying.  My daughters have even told him about certain things that he's forgotten and he says that they're just backing me up and will say anything that I've told them to say.  He in fact thinks its me that is forgetting things.  My own mother has noticed that he's forgotten things that he's said or has been told so its not only me that is seeing it.
I once said maybe we should go to the doctors and he got really angry saying its me that needs to go.
I've started writing down the conversations that we've had because it is causing such terrible arguments and I'm not sure what to do any more.
Hes a very busy man who is always on the go and im wondering if the stress is causing him to forget.  The things is, the things he forgets is always things about me.  Its like he's so stressed that he's trying to release pressure by forgetting anything related to me. And this is why he says its me and not him.  
How do I help him if he doesn't think that there is an issue.  I can't always have a witness every time I want to tell him something and I want these issues/ arguments to stop.  Its affecting us too much. please help.
4 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
973741 tn?1342342773
I feel your pain.  Sometimes my husband forgets too.  Once he was supposed to do something and he said we NEVER spoke about it but we did . . . via text.  LOL  I had it all there and took my phone to him and said "what's this then?"  He stared at me blankly.  He literally  had forgotten.  He also has a stressful job.  He also doesn't always let what I say 'sink in'.  It's annoying.  He also has some processing things I suspect because although he's very intelligent, sometimes in conversations he gets confused.  We can be talking about a person like say, my sister, and that's the only person we've been talking about and all of a sudden he will look at me blankly and say 'who?".  He gets lost.  Or I'm so boring he drifts off.  lol.  Anyway, annoying.

But I'm wondering if you think this is more than that.  If something deeper and neurological is going on.  How old is he?
Helpful - 0
1756321 tn?1547095325
Stress affects memory. I find when under acute stress I have memory loss. I have had with serious chronic stress twice. Both times my stomach acid depleted and I developed iron deficiency anaemia.  Stomach acid is essential for vitamin B12 absorption but in my case I cannot absorb vitamin B12 (autoimmune pernicious anaemia) so I need sublingual B12 spray daily. I had severe memory loss from this deficiency.
Helpful - 0
20703499 tn?1552601915
Many scientific studies have shown that some vitamins and fatty acids can prevent or slow down memory loss, such as omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin B-12, etc.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am in the same position you are.  Married 5 years, husband forgetting conversations we JUST had...sometimes something we talked about several times!...and he has no recollection or has to really concentrate to remember.  He was also losing focus, getting combative and nasty, and taking longer to complete simple tasks.  I called his doctor just before a routine check up and told him what was going on.  I was thinkin ADD or vitamin deficiency.  The doctor gave him a cognitive test at his appointment and he did poorly enough that he was referred to a neurologist and put on a low dose anti-anxiety medication.  The neurologist feels he is borderline for cognitive issues (he tested as having mild cognitive decline) and wants to see him every 6 months.

Please try to get your husband to his doctor to try to find out what is going on.  It is much better to have him checked out sooner rather than later.  Any number of things can be causing his symptoms.  I hope it all works out for you.  
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Memory Loss Community

Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
15 signs that it’s more than just the blues
Can depression and anxiety cause heart disease? Get the facts in this Missouri Medicine report.
Simple, drug-free tips to banish the blues.
A guide to 10 common phobias.
Are there grounds to recommend coffee consumption? Recent studies perk interest.
For many, mental health care is prohibitively expensive. Dr. Rebecca Resnik provides a guide on how to find free or reduced-fee treatment in your area