Menopause Community
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Avatar universal


I am a 55 yr. old women experiencing menopausal symptoms. I have struggled with depression for many years but now it is worse. I take med. for it but my mood is still very low. My husband lost his job last year and I am taking courses. We have no income at this time but are managing for the moment. There is nothing to look forward to, we never go out, or do anything. I am living in a prison and I don't know how to get out of this. It will be some time until my training is finished and until I can look for a job. With the way I feel, emotionally and physically, I cannot work and go to school. The condition of my skin and hair is really bad and I have lost muscle tone in my arms especially but all over. The skin is saggy and wrinkly and crepey. This seems to have occurred just over the past 6 months. My diet is fine and I exercise. These issues are making me even more depressed. I don't even want to be seen in public because of the way I look.Recently, I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease in my neck so I am in constant pain as well.
I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would be appreciated.
7 Responses
Avatar universal
Wow I understand about the depression and menopause.  I have really been struggling these last couple of months.  I am also experiencing physically as well.  Weak knees!!  But I wanted to tell you to forget about looking at the wrinkles!!  We all have them.  Get out of the house!!  Go for a walk.  Have lunch with a friend.  Make it happen!!  Thats what I'm doing.  I admit that some days are worse that others BUT!! I will NOT let menopause get the best of me.

I wish you good health, optimism, engergy, and prosperity!!!
Avatar universal
Thank you for your message. I really appreciate it. I actually do feel so much better and the reason is this..I was taking Remeron for depression and anxiety and sleeping. Still, I felt so incredibly depressed and anxious so I starting weaning myself off it. Within 3 weeks I started feeling amazingly better. I don't have as much awful anxiety, I am not really depressed any more. I have more energy and things are going well. I am exercising and enjoying school. My husband got a job so things are better. NOT ONCE did my doc. suggest I go off that med. when I kept insisting I feel so horrible. I did it on my own and I feel better than I have in a long time. My facial skin and hair look so much healthier. The rest of my skin..well, not much I can do about that.
My attitude has changed so much. Menopause is the pits but life goes on and as far as I know, no woman ever died from it.
I wish you all the best. You are very kind. Good luck to you.
Avatar universal
Lin5566, the message was meant as a reply to you. Thanks again.
Avatar universal
I am 50 years old and also experiencing menopause.  I have always had tendencies toward anxiety, but last winter fell into a depression that was horrible!  Many days I didn't even dress as I only moved from my bed to the sofa.  I have always been a very social animal, but started avoiding friends, I had a sense that no one could understand how I was feeling, and that nothing I did mattered.  Spoke with my GYN and he doubled the amount of estrogen I was on.  With in a week, the difference was remarkable!  Maybe an increase in estrogen could be suggested to your Dr.  If you regain your sense of balance it will help you address the issues going on in your life.  Hope this helps a bit.  Boy, do I know how you feel!
Avatar universal
Thank you very much for your message. I am not taking HRT because of a history of breast cancer in my family. My doc. is going through menopause as well and she says diet, exercise, rest etc. is all we can do. I do feel better since I weaned myself off Remeron. What a nightmare that was! I am not depressed now and I have more energy, even my anxiety has decreased tremendously. Sleeping is like an alien concept to me. I take 1/2 a sleeping pill and I hate doing so but I have to get up early for school the next day. I am tempted to take the risk and go on HRT. I am glad you have seen a difference in your own life. You are very fortunate. A good attitude helps. It's a struggle but we all have to get through it I guess.
Hope you continue to do well.
Avatar universal
I am almost 52.  I have never had pms (fortunate) but menopause is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I am handling the hot flashes with black cohosh but the MOOD swings and depression is almost unbearable. Breeze, I too stopped going out and somedays just went from bed to couch without changing my clothes. I do exercise 3-5 days which helps tremendously. it's like an anti-depressant, but lately the mood only last a couple of hours after I workout instead of all day. Every little curve life throws out is amplified! Glad you weaned of Remeron, we know ourselves better than the doctors. Rose, I am tempted to go on HRT, but I don't have insurance and money is very tight. And I also don't want to take it the rest of my life. The sleep is awful and I hate taking sleeping pills.  I've started eating food with medical marijuana  in it (go figure!), that helps me sleep with no groggy mornings.  I wish you ladies the best. I can't wait for this to pass, it's been about 7 months since my symptoms and I still am having a period. Good luck to us all.
Avatar universal
Thank you for your comments. Every bit helps. I look forward to hearing from anyone else these days. You are having your period too? Wow! Double trouble. What kind of food is that? I have never heard of such a thing. I am taking black cohosh at night and I think that is helping a bit but I am still waking up frequently. Maybe I should take it during the day too. I hate the panicky feeling that I am going to lose control sometimes. It's frightening. Money is tight for us also and we don't have any benefits for another 2 months or so. You are right, EVERYTHING becomes HUGE. I am so self-critical and my self-esteem is non-existent. I can hardly believe that just one year ago, I was a totally different person.
We can endure it and get through it. That's all we can do. I don't even want to know how long it might last. I totally sympathize and encourage you to write and discuss how you feel. Best wishes and good luck.
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