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Not aging as gracefully as I had hoped.

I didn't really notice much aging until I went into menopause and neither did anyone else, at least they didn't say anything. to upset me.  About 2 years post menopause at 53 I started to notice a little more lines around my eyes but it was nothing I couldn't handle.  Then out of nowhere, store clerks started asking me if I was a senior.  I told myself they were hiring 16 yr olds and to them everyone looks old?.  What really hit home was when a store clerk my age asked me if I was a senior and the senior age was 65.  I was 10 years younger at the time.  Did I really look that old to them?.  I was always fortunate enough in the past to look much younger than my years so it came as a shock..  Then when my sisters and I were all in the same room a priest came in and said let me guess, eldest, he was pointing at me, older, younger and youngest, he thought I was the eldest, but again I wasn't.

I often examine myself to try and see what they see?.  When I look at my most recent Driver License photos I can see I look older but can't put my finger on why I look different?  Since the lines don't show up in the photo I cannot blame that, but see my face is longer, my brows are lower, my cheeks thinner, my jaw looser, my upper lip sags down and doesn't plump upward like it use to, I no longer have the plump skin I use to have and my neck looks scrawny not to mention that something looks different with my hairline?
The worst of the lines and the droop came on so suddenly.  This past summer I ended up with yet another aging symptom, crepey cheek skin over a matter of a couple of weeks, why and where did it come from so quickly?  
For several years I have tried to maintain keeping my skin youthful, so it's like a slap in the face to have all this happening to me. I am not aging well.  It's not only my face, it's my body, my clothes fit differently, they hang and it seems like my legs are shorter, my butt is hanging down and I don't even have one,  and my chest is no longer where it use to be, my knees look like loose pantyhose, my forearms have shrunk, and at times I have flaps where my triceps use to be.. all this and I'm a skinny, so it's hard to understand how a skinny person can sag..  
The one thing that has helped a little was a bottle of hair dye.  Gray hair is very aging on me.   I am really discouraged about all the aging face creams which don't do as promised.  Yet every once in a while some elderly woman will come along and look great for her age so I try and find out what products she uses in hopes it will do the same for me.  Is there hope, or should we pray that we could accept ourselves the way we are and find peace!  Don't get me wrong I'm grateful to be here, but I'm not aging as gracefully as I had hoped.
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134578 tn?1642048000

As they say, it beats the alternative, right?  I saw that someone wrote a book about "How Not to Look Old," and picked up a copy.  For the life of me, the only hint I can remember is to wear lighter, pinker lipstick instead of dark.  (And I do it, too!  lol)  Somewhere around that time, I started to wear slimmer, darker jeans, but I think that was on my sister's advice, not from the book.  She's still out in public while I'm home with a kid, so I do listen to what she thinks is up to date.

I have a young son for my age, and don't want the poor kid to be humiliated by everyone thinking I'm his grandma when I pick him up at preschool.  I fight that possibility with an updated haircut, skin cream recommended by my dermatologist (it's prescription and probably includes Retin A), sunscreen all the time, and trying to keep elements of my wardrobe in tune.  (If, say, all the young moms are wearing lime as an accent color, or capris and backless shoes, I'll go get something in lime and consider the capris.  In fact, come to think of it, I like capris.)  It is kind of amazing how clothes will make people think you're younger.  I was in law school at 40, and since I wore jeans and tee shirts along with everyone else, apparently nobody knew I was 40 and my closest friends (who were all in their early 20s) were shocked to hear it, even though they saw my face every day.  People look most at the uniform and not the face, I think, and if you match the clothes of a certain group they are more likely to mentally peg you there.  I am SURE I could make myself look at least 20 years older right now if I wore saggy-bottomed sweat pants, sensible shoes, and Eddie Bauer turtlenecks in public, like my mother.  I try for somewhat fresh-looking, but stay somewhat conservative on the liveliness scale.  One too many arty touches and a person just looks like an eccentric old broad in a funny hat.  (I'll save that look for when I'm 80.)

If you had a lot of sun exposure when younger, talk to the dermatologist.  There are peels and treatments that can help with some of that kind of damage.  

Don't stop fighting it.  As our beloved Dylan Thomas said, do not go gentle into that good night.  Rage, rage until the dying of the light.
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Avatar universal
Thanks, and the word out there is to stay away from momma jeans if you want to look younger.  Apparently they date you.  .  I use to wear jogging pants now I stay away from them because they make me look extra sloppy.  The experts recommend Jeggings with a longer top to make the older woman look more youthful.  There is more than one style of jeggings, I was hoping to find a narrow boot cut but all I can find is the skinny leg which makes me look ridiculous  since my legs look like toothpicks.    Too, with tops I buy everything 3/4 to long length sleeves to hide the loose skin on my arms.  Wish the Clothing manufacturers would come up with something attractive in this area without making us look over the hill.?   Another tip I can give but don't have is healthy shiny hair.  I was fooling around with it a little too much now it is damaged and dull.  A well conditioned shiny head of hair no matter what color makes one look younger.   Lack of estrogen makes hair drier and coarser along with the facial lines.
I like the Dylan Thomas quote,
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