Menopause Community
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Avatar universal


I am 51 and menopausal/post menopausal.  I'm active and eat healthy but I love my red wine.  I was diagnosed as post menopausal a couple of years ago and then I got a couple of small periods.  Blood work was done and then I wasn't post menopausal and I'm menopausal.  I CANNOT take estrogen so that is out of the question for a couple of different reasons.    My life is falling apart as I am on my 3rd relationship which I am loosing fast because of  zero libido.  I am begging for any help  or advise here.  I have a type A personality.  I research everything and anything, so I'm quite knowledgeable to a point.  I was diagnosed and treatmented for bi-polar for approx 10 yrs (30-40 yrs old).  The drugs never worked and I was miserable with side effects.  It was later found out I had extreme PMS, similar symptoms to bi-polar I'm told.  I was put into clinicial menopause when I was approx 41 yrs old.  I can't remember what it was, it was just a monthly shot in the butt and I had to take progestreon every other month to induce my period, which I hemoraged terribly.  This lasted a year and I can't seem to remember anything good about the whole process.  I always remembered that my PMS peaked every 3 mths which was deadly for me and anyone around me, I could kill!.  At 43 I started with hot flashes, night sweats, heart palpatations and anxiety which an ambulance came a couple of times, scarry!  Once I knew that this was part of the change beyond no return, it made it somewhat easier to deal with. I have also been suffering from chronic pain disorder from some sort of nerve damage in my mouth that started at the same time as all the other ****.  Basically,  it feels like an absence tooth.  When it first started 8 yrs ago I was on  disability for 2 yrs and barely functional.  This problem is to indepth to discuss. I'm better now and it's managable without drugs but my hormones always seem to determine the pain levels.  I have suffered from horrid night sweats for approx 4 years including racing heart.  I don't sleep and can't figure out how I function during the day and I don't ever nap.  I'm extremely tired but I have energy? THE BIG PROBLEM!  My sex drive has been going down hill for approx 10 years and has been at null and void for the last 2 years.  I'm in my third long term relationship within these 10 yrs and about to loose it if something doesn't happen soon.  I have never blamed my partners for wanting to leave, as I can't expect health men to live selibit.  I feel like I'm living in a black whole and just existing.  I find my partner of 5+ yrs very attractive and love him dearly.  My medical file is 2" thick of "hormonal issues" and when I talk to my doctor, whom I respect, I get no anwsers or help, accept she believes it was the drug that put me into clinic menopause in the first place which has screwed me up.  I am going to make an appt with a Naturopath but in the meantime, I went to a Nutrietion House yesterday and told her my problem and she gave me Vitex which has Casteberry in it.  She didn't blind an eye!   I told her I had researched this to death and this had nothing to do with libido.  She said that you had to treat the causing problem, which she said had been my PMS.  I don't suffer like I did with the ragging mood swings but I do notice mood changes etc...which I though was from the lack of sleep.  I do have a very stressful job and I'm working on doing something about that.  Anyways, I just want advise on anything that can at least boost my libido.  I don't want to be alone all my life and I surely don't want to loose my partner.  I apolize for writing so much.
5 Responses
Avatar universal
Your story was so enlightening.  Can you help me.  I'm 49yrs old w/hubby and 4 kids.  I've been through menopause and in the last two years have lost my libido...no orgasims.  I need to know what helped you get to boost you libido.  I have stopped taking my anti deppressiant and only take Actonel.  Pls helpl  thanks, Lori
230202 tn?1370797179
Have you both thought about seeing a naturopath or herbalist.  Im not sure if they can help but it's worth a try.  Good luck
230202 tn?1370797179
Have you both thought about seeing a naturopath or herbalist.  Im not sure if they can help but it's worth a try.  Good luck to you both
Avatar universal
Can you recommend something or a safe place on the web?  thanks, Lori
230202 tn?1370797179
Lori I dont know of any safe place on the web to be honest. Sorry I cant help you there.  Ask your doctor or find one that belongs to the Naturopath or herbalist society of America. Good luck it will be worth it.
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