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Avatar universal

22 with porn induced erectile dysfunction?

The first two times I tried to have sex I couldn't get an erection at all, one time was sober one drunk. Then the next girl was kind of a 3-night stand over a weekend with the only improvement being getting a half-erection and penetrating momentarily before it was too flaccid to go on.

Now, I've met the woman of my dreams, definite soul-mate and drop dead gorgeous...I ended up telling her about my past failures in intercourse and she joked it would happen with us but I was sure it wouldn't because theres a real connection with this girl, unlike the other two. And she's beautiful too, out of my league even...But sure enough the other night it was time and of course I couldn't get an erection...

I managed to get a decent halfer at first when the clothes started coming off and she grabbed around, but then it just wimped out and went away...

I've looked at internet porn since I was 12, now I'm 22, There have been times where the internet porn addiction got kind of bad, but it always mellowed out to calmer more normal routines, but always frequent. Sometimes I'd masturbate daily, multiple times daily, but then other times I'd go for a few days or so without any porn or masturbation.

Either way this girl is really cool and understanding and we talk about it openly with next to no embarrassment on my part anymore, I was going to see a doctor but then we decided it might be porn induced or psychological, and after that night I've written off all porn and I'm not masturbating again for a while.

My question I guess is was this enough for any of you? What was your porn addiction like in level of seriousness/frequency?

I'm hoping just abstaining from any kind of porn or sexual release for a while and only allowing myself to get off with her will work...If not I'll be crazy bummed...but I guess I'd go to a doctor...I'm just hoping porn has Temporarily (hopefully very temporarily) given me this problem and its on its way out very soon.

Any help or anything at all is appreciated, its kind of hard to talk about this stuff openly with your friends or "the dudes" and my girlfriend isn't knowledgeable or experienced in this...
453 Responses
Avatar universal
are you saying you can get an erection from looking at porn but not when you are with a woman ?

22 is a bit young to have this problem

Is your penis normal size when flaccid ?

how long have you refrained from masturbating for ?
Avatar universal
Yea, when I look at porn and can just keep browsing endless categories and stimulate myself I can get nice erections, but with a beautiful girl with whom I'm in love I can only get a half-erection that then fades away...

I've stopped masturbating for 4 days, since the morning of the incident.
Avatar universal
that is strange - what kind of porn are you interested in ?

I don't know about "porn" , I am more interested in "fetishes"  eg foot fetish


Is your girlfriend similar to the women in the porn you enjoy - could that be the problem ?

I suppose your willy may have got more used to the porn than the real thing

you could be unconsciously embarrassed by your porn interests and that stops you getting it up

I don't know what to suggest really
Avatar universal
I think its just desensitization, It used to be just naked girls, then that got old then lesbians and so on, so now a beautiful woman naked on my bed I guess doesn't work despite my desires or intentions.
Avatar universal
I would think about "what it is that enters your thoughts when you loose your erection". You could be just lacking confidence.......perhaps fearful of not being able to perform. I would doubt that pornography has caused the problem. What about control.....That's the thing about lots of porn...your in control and there's no pressure... I doubt porn has caused the problem directly. I would go and see your GP. Erectile issues can really mess with your head (no pun intended). Lot's of blokes have a similar problem and he/she maybe able to help. I have had a similar experience in my 20's and i did nothing about it. Now i'm in my 30's and have sought help. Your GP will be able to sort out whether the issue is Psychological or physical. I have used Viagra /Cialis etc and find they often take the pressure off worrying about getting aroused and staying that way..... Problem with using them is if you have no physical reason for needing them and it's more in your head....than you can become dependendant on needing them to have sex and a) their expensive and b) they don't really deal with your confidence issue....

Anyway hope that helps
Avatar universal
you are lucky to have a beautiful woman naked on your bed

no chance of that for me

will she be bothered if you can't get it up long term ?

you could try zinc and maca also l-arginine
Avatar universal
Man it sounds a lot like me. I'm 28 though. I typed a couple paragraphs on here for you but it got erased and dont' feel like typing it out again. If you are still interested in what I had to say I'll type it again. How has the porn-abstinence been going? Is it working?
Avatar universal
Hi mate,,,,,,,,,,,I'm facing the same issue,,,,,,,,,,,I think we shouls stop watching porn,,,,,,,,,,,It's very dangerous,,,,,,,,,Take care mate<<<<<,,,,,,,,, No other way out,,,,,,,May God help us
Avatar universal
Hi mate,,,,,,,,,,,I'm facing the same issue,,,,,,,,,,,I think we should stop watching porn,,,,,,,,,,,It's very dangerous,,,,,,,,,Take care mate<<<<<,,,,,,,,, No other way out,,,,,,,May God help us
176495 tn?1301280412
I went through 5 year self induced 'dry spell' after the end of a relationship.  I wound up viewing a lot of porn and masturbating quite a bit.  Then, I met the woman who ultimately became my 2nd wife and found I had a similar problem.  Finally was able to get an erection and maintain it, then was unable to climax..thanks to her patience and assistance we got through that..and I was in my late 40s then..

Lay off the porn..keep your hand off your johnson..spend time with your girlfriend just "enjoying" being with each other.  after a few days take a nice bath together..soap each other up, relax, etc..give it some time and "it" will come around.  Your body is just used to a different stimulation and the feel of the grip of your hand on your "boy"..relax, and quit worrying about it and give it some time

Jim
Avatar universal
Hi guys,
I've got the exact same problem:
Met a new hot girl, but I can't get it up. I have no problem while using porn. Has anybody made experiences how long it will take to get over that?

(btw: I'm 26 and in good shape, so I'm sure it is the porn why it's not working with a real girl..)
Avatar universal
Here's my theory:  You associate porn with something bad, dirty, forbidden, etc. and that excites you, so you get a hard on.  But this girl is pure, special, everything porn is not, so if you associate her with a hard on, you would be associating her with porn, which you probably don't want to do.  Subconsciously you are protecting her from the former "bad" you and all that "bad" porn excitement.  You need to remind yourself that love is beautiful and that includes the sex that accompanies love.  It can't be bad.  I think most people respond to porn because we are mortal human beings and we really can't prevent our physical reactions to something sexually arousing. It's normal.  Love is special and we respond to that too. I'm sure you're a good person and if you really love this girl, you could never hurt her.  
Avatar universal
> Has anybody made experiences how long it will take to get over that?

I think this depends on the individual. We are not all the same. I would say for starters try to abstain for at least one month from both porn and real sex. Well, the second is probably difficult but my suggestion is to try both. Developing some other activities often helps to draw attention and energy elsewhere and, consequently, to achieve abstinence more easily. Don't give up (for the porn part) if you don't see improvement. You probably need more time, which would be not surprising at all. And don't forget: porn can easily ***intoxicate*** human mind.
Avatar universal
Hey man, Ive just read your thread, I know its been a while since you posted it. When I was a teenager I too would try to have sex with my girlfriend, it didnt work. She to was beautiful and eventually left me for it, I hope your girl is more understanding. I was molested as a young boy of 9 or 10, and was taught how to masterbate. I masterbateed daily from the time I was 11 to 18, I also watched porn pretty often. The only thing I can really think of, is first of all I got used to manual stimulation erections, before I was really even able to get erections. I only remember a couple of times when I got an unaided erection good enough for sex, but unfortunately there was no girl around. I took a break from masterbating for a while and eventhough I have other problems now, I seem to be more Interested in actually having sex than before. My theory is basically you have to train your body and mind. Wait as long as you can between masterbation sessions, and when you cant hold off anymore, try to think about you and your partner in a real sexual situation. Also try to focus more on what your doing, concentrate and relax. I am 23 years and sex is no longer a big part of my life, I simply dont need sex or a woman in life and really consider them both a terrible burdon. You can focus your energy on other things, I know its hard to not be pressured to have sex in this world, but sleeping with a woman who is not your wife is not morally correct anyway. I do not want to offend, but Jesus says, Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline so be earnest and repent. So no matter what you do in life, give it your all. If a man does his best what else is there. Good luck
Avatar universal
Hi guys,

just wanted to let you know I have overcome my problem.
Now after two months the urge of watching porn has mostly gone.
I'm masturbating 2-3 times a week (before I did up to 15 times..)
I'm in good shape, stopped smoking, reduced drinking, and exercise 3 times a week.

I can get a hard on even by just looking at a hot girl in college/ in the mall, and it feels great! And sex with my fu..buddy is great.

Just wanted to let you know: if you are willing to overcome this problem /addiction with porn, you can do it. It's not easy, but it's worth it!
Avatar universal
Does anyone know if its possible to incress the girth or length of your penis without surgery?
Avatar universal
Hey dude, just wanted to ask if your still doing ok, and how long did it take till you noticed any effect with your penis?  I think I have the same problem that you had, as I cant get it up without any physical stimulus at all anymore, no natural erections.  Even when I see a smoking hot girl, my brain knows shes hot, but my penis is just dead.  I'm convinced it's been the porn that's done it as i've been masturbating ever since like 12 and never had much success with the ladies till now.  I've stopped masturbating, started jogging/weights, hoping i'll get it back into shape, as I think my penis has just gotten used to having a hand around it, and/or i've just abused it so much its desensatized.  It's been 5 days off the porn etc so far.  Taking one zinc tablet (15mg) each day hoping that will help too.  I really need to get this fixed, my girlfriend is so understandable about it, but we can't have any sex because of it.  Mucho annoyed.  A doctor just laughed in my face about it the other day, and just said its because im getting old, even though i'm only 23!!!

Hope you/anyone can help.

Cheers
Avatar universal
Any progress with you bummed_out?  Has anyone got anymore success stories, and how they achieved it?

Thanks
Avatar universal
Hi Stellios,
I needed 1-2 weeks of total abstinence until my spontaneous erections came back, and after the same time I had no problems anymore with my fuckbuddy.

The only thing that is left is that I sometimes just can't come. But my FB likes that I can go on and on. Usually this happens if I have sex more than twice a day. Everything else is like it was before.

So, in summary I'd say that if you have the discipline to stop watching porn, you'll get back to where you were within 1-3 weeks. Masturbation is ok sometimes, but leave the porn away.

Stellios, I'm sure you'll get over that!


Good Luck and let us know how it works out for you!
Avatar universal
Thanks for the reply BananaJoe, much appreciated dude! Will post soon with an update.

Cheers

Stellios
Avatar universal
I've been looking at porn since I was 9. I'm 21 now. Its only during the last year, once I started to get seriously sexually active that I realized I had an ED problem.

After going through the requisite freaking out about how I was too young to have ED and embarrassment when I couldn't just pop up and go the way guys my age are supposed to be able to, I began to suspect there was some connection to porn. I have no problems when watching porn, but I'm dead when it comes to me being with my girl friend. And I love her.

It is scary how little awareness there is on the net that ED caused by too much porn is a very real problem. It's not about us lacking confidence, or being uneasy around our lovers, I truly believe its all about desensitization. Although my heart and soul are in my lover, she just can't physically arouse me. She can't compete, no girl can ever compete, with the endless sexual visual fiction porn offers.

So, after reading through a lot of similar stories on medhelp, i've decided to give up porn and hope that my penis starts functioning normally, with the girl I love, and not with meaningless fantasies online.

BananaJoe, your story is truly a source of faith for me that my problems can be worked out. It's been 3 days since I've been off porn, and will be visiting my girlfriend at her home in Colorado in three weeks. I hope years and years of visual desensitization and addiction aren't going to destroy my chance to ever have a normal sex life.


Ps - I think we really owe a round of thanks to the wonderful women in our lives who have stood by us while we face our worst fears and wrangle with this debilitating embarrassment. I hope for all of you to have a supportive girl in your life as I do.
Avatar universal
yeah same thing happened to me...

laid off the porn for 2 days and it solved the problem...

but porn was never really the problem...it was HOW i jerked off to porn...

you have to learn to jerk off with less and less use of ur hands, more control of ur mental stimulation and more use of ur imagination...

if you think about it porn and sex are practically the same thing...
but when u jerk off to porn ur hand is doing all the work, and in sex ur penis has to do the work...

if you want to stop porn, u can stop, but dont stop masturbating...
u have to learn to masturbate using ur imagination and as little help from your hands as possible...

DO NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT SEX....the aim is to get hornier...
practice makes perfect...

its like learning to ride a bike...first u had training wheels (when u used ur own hands and watched porn) now u should take the training wheels off and if u keep falling down u keep trying again(but WITHOUT the training wheels)

in the meantime to satisfy ur girlfriends there are stuff u can do for them that can make up for ur erectile dysfunction...and who knows maybe when u do that stuff u'll get so horny ur penis will want to join in on the fun...

u'll get it...everyone does eventually...no one has a penis that just "doesn't work"...and i dont care if u've been watching porn for 100years, ur not gonna be sexually retarded for life...as long as UR HAND can do it, YOU CAN do it too...
Avatar universal
Thank you all!!

I've been in a total desperation and depression for almost a year!! From when I failed in a real situation.

Now I know the cause of my problems for sure!

-Jerking off for a long time (>4 years)
-Watching dirtier and dirtier porn to get it up (starting with pictures of girls)
-Hitting the old man harder and harder in a crazy, non natural way

All this applies to me!

I've even visited two urologists who both said I was totally healthy. I did not belive them. There had to be something wrong physically! Now, I know they were right!

I hope I heal soon!

Avatar universal
Hi MrGeekhead,

I'm sure within 1-2 weeks your body will relearn normal sexual response if you see a hot girl. It will take some willpower, but its definitely worth it!

Wish you the best,
Banana
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