How do I know if he's cheating?

[connflower]

My husband and I have been having problems with sex he can not get an erection or if he does he can't maintain it. He has told me he has the desire to have sex with another woman to see what he may have missed. I have tried to spice up our sex life and try new things but nothing has worked. Well last friday he went out after work with a friend and he was only suppose to stay for one drink! Well that didn't happen! I called the bar after he had been there 6 hrs and he said he would come home I bitched at him because he was suppose to buy his friend one drink for his b-day and come home since it was his night off well he said he would be home . After I hung up from him his friend called and said he was home and had been home for 3 hours and that my husband was still at the bar . He said he was talking to the bar tender and that he was with her. Well a week ago when him and his friend went out my husband said his friend had a date with the bar tender this saturday but since they went friday instead he was going to see her then well I think it was my husband going to see her now after him staying at the bar all day even after his friend left. When I asked my husband why he stayed at the bar after his friend left he tried to lie to me at first and say he left right after his friend did but I busted him and told him I talked to his friend and he told me when he left and how long he had been home ! well after that my husband wouldn't answer me. He also has been hateful to me and treating me like s!!! and he has been acting different. I dont know what to think ! How can I tell if he tried to cheat or did cheat?

[rankett]

Well, a doctor cannot say any more for his patient even if he knew, otherwise he would break confidentiality, no matter what the subject at hand is.

It is pretty obvious that the time has come to think both of you what's going wrong with your relationship and if you can keep going that way or not, and if not then what can/should be done.

Good luck.

[connflower]

I do have a very strong gut feeling that he tried really that he did cheat and when I got this same gut feeling before about this same thing I was right. He has not talked about being out or why he stayed at the bar after his friends left and I have not said anything yet either ! But I plan to this weekend we always talk on saturday nights when he gets home from band practice so I will see what he says then! Plus if he's been drinking he always tells on his self. And he has talked to his doctor about the problem he's been having getting an erection and the doctor told him it was his life style my husband told the doctor that I thought he was cheating and we had problems and the doc asked him if he was and he said no but he didn't tell him that he had tried to. but I go to the same doctor and I told him everything and he feels like I feel .

[rankett]

> How can I tell if he tried to cheat or did cheat?

You can't. You have just strong indications that something goes on (you already catched him telling you lies, which is serious in a couple) and you need to keep your eyes and ears wide open.

Besides the socio-psychological aspects, did he take some medical advice on the possible conditions that could lead to the loss of his erections?