Wow, I'm really sorry to hear you have been through so much sadness and trauma, and that you are still going through it.
I'm not sure who told you all of that about circumcision, but it sounds like someone has given you a LOT of bad information. Many men are perfectly happy being circumcised. My husband is circumcised, and he has no issues.
"statics say women are 5 times more likely to feel "Used" after having sex with a circumcised man and and 5 times more likely to feel like its the best thing happened to her with an uncircumcised man " - this sounds like complete nonsense, and sure sounds like someone fabricated these "statistics." I'm sorry that you have been lied to all of this time, but people have told you things that are simply NOT true.
I'm sorry you are having suicidal thoughts due to being circumcised, but it is NOT worth all of that, I promise! Circumcision may not be that common in Saudi Arabia, but it is quite common in the U.S., and most men and women go on to have satisfying sexual relationships, regardless of whether a man is circumcised or not.
Things will get better Light, keep your head up.
More men in the u.s. are circumcised than not, especially in past generations. It does not affect their sex life or their wives' enjoyment of the sex.
Please also know, the brutal abuse you suffered is not fair, not deserved, and wrong at every level. Never think that you deserved it or brought it on yourself. When you meet a woman and get interested, one way you can tell if she is "the one" is how well she treats you and how nurturing she is. Good luck and may God finally bless you with some peace.
i have red all your comments
i never thought that a support over the internet might actually help me in real life
i really appreciate this support even though life is moving slowly for me you made me see a colorful light of hope
thank you my friends .
It is interesting to read about face blindness. People who have it learn to identify others by other cues, I assume you have been able to look up some sites that discuss face blindness and the ways it is managed.
I know that you have a lot on your plate, more than most people, just to get through the day. I don't know why some people are dealt such an unfair package to begin life and others are not, and why some people fail and others don't (and these are not the same two groups -- some people with no big challenges and a lot of benefits still fail, and other people born into horrendous circumstances whom life seems to have treated very unfairly by comparison are able to succeed). But at the least you should know that in no society in the world is what your father did all right, you did not bring it on yourself, and what CurfewX said above is true, there is nothing about circumcision that causes a bad sex life. You are not doomed by any of these things, though I am sure the scarring from your father is far more serious than the circumcision. (In the US, where more than half of men are circumcised, it is held up as more healthy by medical organizations because of the risk of HPV, and I suppose it is stupid to mention this but even all the porno actors are circumcised -- as you can see it is considered more normal and sexy, if they will only choose circumcised guys for their films.) The propaganda you heard about circumcision sounds so strange that it seems almost crazy. In your shoes I would dismiss it totally.
I think the challenge for you is not going to be in how when someone has been abused as a child, it can be hard to behave in a loving and trusting way consistently with a partner when one becomes an adult. One of the saddest things about abuse is that it also provides an early role model, and the child learns bad patterns of what someone does when angry and does not learn how to trust or how to handle temper in a practical way. If you can, while you are readying yourself to try to meet someone and have a happier life, please get some counseling or read some books on the topic of human relationships so you will be ready to be levelheaded in the face of day to day life issues.. It does not sound like you are in the habit of lashing out, but it wouldn't frankly be surprising if you were (given your horrible father and what he did). It would be good to try to work on emotional management tools for yourself now, so you'll be ready for the sweet person who someday will come into your life.
You must have read about theories against circumcision . Now you read vies in favor of cicumcision. There are two schools of thought on this subject. However It is not as serious as you think.Important nerve endings are removed with foreskin. However glans become less sensitive allowing you to resist ejaculation.
Typo -- where it says above "I think the challenge for you is not going to be in how when someone has been abused as a child it can be hard to behave in a loving and trusting way" -- what got dropped out is an entire phrase, it should have said "is not going to be in having a normal sexual relationship but instead will be in how when someone has been abused..." In other words, the cruel abuse of your father can make it harder to have a normal emotional relationship as an adult. I don't think it is hopeless, quite the opposite, but you do need to consciously break the chain of abuse so you never pass it on to the next generation or to your wife.