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Men who watch porno!

My boyfriend whom is 45 and divorced watches porno so often. I dont mind at all but he does it alone so often i find when we have sex he loses his erection during sex. I give him oral sex,i always go on top, i have had another woman join us and he goes limp way to often. I am really a beautiful 37 year old woman......picture Pamela Anderson laying next to you.....you arent going to want to be with someone like that? Maybe he likes skanky porno girls. Im classey high end and beautiful. But i am very sensual and sexy in the bed room......Never had a problem pleasing a man or a woman.......................except my current boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. Is it do to porno, is he gay, does he have ED?  We spoke about this before and he was defensive but showed me paper work that he knew he had a problem......but never went to get checked.  Then he told me it may be the porno....he was used to being alone and he was taking care of himself. Im so upset!  He wants to marry me and have children and i dont know what to do?  He is very nice and loving and caring, but when it comes to sex....he wants to avoid it so i guess he dont have to face the fact he may go limp.  Thats a problem........cause i love to be sexual.. i love to finish .... i love it all.But he would rather be alone and take his time no pressure i guess.   Do i Leave him?
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Avatar universal
Speaking out of experience Nikki37 , its not you, its not the porn. Its the hand stimulation FROM watching the porn. Masturbation is easy , your in control, the feeling of a bare hand wrapped tight around a penis is much more intense feeling then a soft "looser" vagina , especially with a condom on. Espcially when the guy is on top and has to do more of the work , its tiring. I suggest he stops watching porn and masturbating for a week or 2. Bet if he did that it would be No problem getting wood in the bed. I know , i had the EXACT same issue. Let me guess.... he has no problem getting hard if you give him oral or a HJ but as soon as u switch into a intercourse position it goes all down hill , am I right?   Good luck Nikki!
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Avatar universal
wow !!! i cant understand how he cant keep it up if you look the way you say you do, i wouldnt be able to keep it down!
Maybe you should tell him that he can only watch porn with you and then have sex staight after.
As for if you should leave him, if things in the bedroom arent the way you want them and he wont try to rectify the problem tell him that your unhappy and things need to change, if your sex life is important to you how can you be happy?, if your not happy how can you have a lasting relationship?
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Avatar universal
This is a sad situation, since you sound like you have the sensual qualities to make his life interesting.  From my male point of view, I would rather have the real, live woman rather than watching something in a magazine, on a DVD, or on a monitor.  However, I do understand the attraction of porno in that it is presenting a perfect situation which sometimes cannot be readily found in real life.  With men, it's sometimes the KIND of sex that is key rather than just HAVING sex.  He needs to get checked out by a physician to see if anything physically is wrong and you both could go to a marriage counselor, if you are serious about marriage.  The way things stand, a marriage would not work out, in my opinion.  In any event, you both need to communicate what you want.  With him, does he want some other kind of sexual situation (handjob, blowjob, anal, butt fetish, female domination, and so on) that he is not getting outside of porn?
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Avatar universal
> Then he told me it may be the porno...

I believe it is definitely this. He can of course have some blood test to rule out hormone factors or other ED-triggering conditions, but from your description it looks like his porn attitude is the culprit. You know, porn is like poison, it affects in a very complex psycho-biochemical way our appetite for sex.

> Do i Leave him?

I am afraid that you are the only one who can answer this question. But watching porn, even that often, is not a reason by itself to leave someone.
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