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Avatar universal

My husband loses his erection when he is inside me.

We are newlyweds and the sex has been fantastic until recently. He assures me that it is not me that he doesn’t know what’s going on. He is very attracted to me etc.,
3 Responses
207091 tn?1337709493
Lots of things cause men to have issues with erections - stress, medications, illness, anxiety, hormone levels being off, etc., etc.

I would start with an appt with his doctor, and have his hormone levels tested, and a physical. Does he have high or low blood pressure? A heart issue? Is he on any medications that could cause this? If he's losing the erection when he's inside you, maybe he can only maintain it for a certain amount of time? Is there a basic pattern that you all have to sex? Try varying that to see what happens if he enters you sooner.


Ruling out a physical problem is always the first step. If he's fine physically, then look at the psychological causes he might have. Since he's losing the erection when he's inside you, maybe he feels anxiety or pressure to make sure you feel good. Was he a virgin when you got together? Maybe he isn't sure he's "doing it right". Are you reassuring him that sex with him feels great? Do you have an open communication about it?

I wouldn't think it's you. If he can get an erection, that means he's aroused by you. I know it's easy for me to say that, and I might feel the same if I were you, but it really does sound as if he's attracted to you. :)

Don't make him feel badly about this. Just let him know you want to rule out any medical conditions because you love him and want him to be healthy, and erection problems can alert to other, possibly serious health problems.

https://www.healthline.com/health/erectile-dysfunction#causes
20620809 tn?1504362969
I agree there can be a lot of reasons why a man has issues maintaining an erection.  Big one is stress.  Is he depressed or stressed out?  The psychological component to sex is huge. Is he taking any new medications?  That can impact things sometimes too.   I think he should talk to his doctor about this to rule out anything medically related and then go from there.  It's not you.  It will work out.  
Avatar universal
Maybe it’s the psychological weight of the big change in your lives? You said you’re newly weds. Getting married is a big deal and can put things in different perspectives.
3 Comments
That is a good perspective as you are right, big things, changes and stress (getting married is stressful! ha, but it really is in a way) can affect these things.
I don't know, getting married is pretty sexy.  It's marriage that is stressful as it goes along.  That's my take, anyway.  Unless you married someone you don't actually love or were terrified about getting married in the first place, which is common.  I have this problem but for me it's probably part psychological but also largely due to having had prostate surgery.  It is a complicated area of the body, that's for sure.
You didn't have to go through planning a wedding and making it all happen like I did (bridezilla), ha ho. It was stressful, man. And after long time on my own, meshing lives both on a daily basis and two different families (theirs and mine) is stressful.  Everyone is different and not sure we can speak for anyone else about what is stressful or not.  Getting married is a life altering event.
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