No ejaculation after intercourse

[crabtree]

I felt like an incomplete person as my husband is unable to ejaculate even after we have intercourse for about 45 mins to 1 hour. He will just feel tired and say that's enough for the day. During the whole process, i am moving most of the time and he does not want to move much. I know he is able to ejaculate when he mustabate.

Is there something wrong with me? i am depressed about this and i do not know how to ask him about it. I did mention it once to him and he said he is controlling it as he does not want any children. I know he is not cheating on me but i am just worried and do not know what to do.

Please help.....

[love_falling_in_love]

I am 47 and I have always had a problem ejaculating fast enough.  On several occasions I have lost some very nice girls because they thought I do not like them or they thought I am an animal for wanting to have more than 5 or 6 hours of sex.  On one occasion a new girlfriend had to call the ambulance because we had sex for two days and I COULD NOT ***!  Which then turned the pleasure into excrutiating pain all over my body so much so I want SCREAMING from pain (much to my embarrassment).

I now have a gf who understands and we just enjoy the sex and do not focus on ejaculation.  I explained it this way: most airplanes take off and land properly in some airport.  This is where it should land.  Mine lands on a strange new Island.  Is it bad?  No!  Let's enjoy the Island landing instead of the usual dirty airport landing.

[sam279]

hai,

i would like to know from you whether any relation exists between a man watching internet porn and unable to ejaculate during intercourse... strange.. what is wrong in watching internet porn ??

[bridgetk]

Hi there,

I went through a very similar problem myself. I don't know if you are still reading this post. If you are, I'd be interested in hearing how things are going for you.

My husband and I have been married for 8 year. For 6 of those years he had the same issue as your partner - he couldn't ejaculate while having sex but was able to after ejaculating. I'll tell you what was going on keeping in mind that this may not be the case for your husband. I found out 2 years ago that my husband was secretly addicted to internet pornography. I found out by mistake and i was devastated. It turned out that the reason why he couldn't ejaculate was because real sex never measured up to the porno version. He masturbated so much to porn that real sex was ruined.

He's stopped watching porn and compulsivly masturbating. Despite doing this he still has difficulty ejaculating sometimes. This is a source of shame and frustration for him. It has been an extemely difficult road and I still have my doubts even now. I wish that I'd found out much earlier in our relationship. All those years of feeling indequate and wondering what was going on. It is pretty sad and maybe this is not what is happening with your partner but I would suggest checking it out as it may answer a few questions.

Oh... and to anyone who thinks that it might wonderful that a partner can last so long, consider how frustrating and sore it can become for the woman.

[ks78]

Hi,
I have the same exact problem as urs.
My husband keeps saying he cannot focus bec he cannot stop thinking about ovulation.
I don't talk to him about ovulation nor do any ovulation prediction test at home.
But still he somehow calculates it based on my menstruation cycle and gets stressed.
Also he is not able to ejaculate during my ovulation time.

Any one with a solution for this?

[Chris123]

Actually, most women are very pleased if they can have a little intimate time, without a mess to clean up.   You realize how many guys are made to feel apologetic afterward for making a mess as a result of their experiencing pleasure.

I say, be thankful you can get out of him what you want, and not have to clean up after.

[HBK58]

I'm a male 50 years old who cant ejaculate under any condition, with my g/f or by myself but I definitely want to! I did a search looking for what may be causing this. Here I am. I take lots of prescription pain meds (Dilaudid) and have been for over a year. I've also been having some problems with my prostrate recently but I had it checked with no unusual findings. My g/f is as frustrated as I am and at first thought she was the problem. Now she knows better and we are both searching for a solution. I'm thinking it's a combination of age and meds?

[PromisedLand]

way back a bit....the pain meds could be a definite contributor to the situation..I was addicted to vicodin for several years (gues I still am just don't take them) but it was near impossible for me to orgasm and after an hour or so would just give up.  My wife thought it was her and of course became very depressed...even manual stimulation didn't help (with either of us doing the, er stimulating.)  I'm not sure what the answer is..right now I'm off the meds, but my wife's physical condition makes it difficult for us..

Does your husband offer to please you with his hand, or perhaps orally?

Jim

[SixStringer]

Am I to assume that you are like crabtree, in the original post, in that you want a child?  If not, of course, you could switch to another form of sex rather than p-v intercourse during the "ovulation time".  As both of you know, the biggest sex organ is the one between the ears.  Sometimes it's amazing how much mental thoughts can influence sexual relations.    

[kaky0817]

I'm not having the same problem as the other woman in that they're going 45 minutes.  It's more of the pressure of "ovulation time" which changes the focus for the sex.  He gets anxious and then there's no positive ending.

[SixStringer]

I find it difficult that any man have that much control for 45 minutes to an hour.  As far you are concerned, if he is going that long, are you having one or more orgasms?  I would think that his duration would be great for you.  Both of you do need to thoroughly discuss the child angle in a calm manner.  All in all, there is nothing wrong with you, but he should come forth with his lack of interest in having a child, whatever the reason.

[kaky0817]

My husband's problem is definitely pregnancy anxiety.  When it is ovulation time, he cannot ejaculate because he cannot stop thinking about it.  Is there anything that he can do - other than trying not to think about it?

[jmarl]

I have the exact same problem with my spouse. He is probably lying to cover up his feeling of inadequacy. No man can control an ejaculation and for so long. My spouse tells me he is controlling it but I have noticed  that his problem may be physical and he doesnt want to discuss it out of shame. His foreskin on the side with the uretha almost covers the top of his urethra therefore sperm and semen has no way of coming out and not matter how much sex he has he cannot ejaculate until he cuts to get  it (urethra) opened fully. You may wish to double check this info with your doctor. I have resigned to not having any kids with my spouse since he is unwilling to acknowlwdge his problem.

[mudronja]

Maybe this sounds bit... whatever

You two should try some oral sex.

Please report results.

[AndiJ78]

Nothing is wrong with having children, but do you want to have a child by someone so adamantly opposed to the idea? Many people think their spouse or partner will warm up to the idea once the baby is there, but some don't.

His doctor is the only one who can actually diagnose a possible cause, we were simply offering suggestions for things to think about or to present to the doctor. Anti-depressants can cause issues with ejaculation. I am not sure if his gout meds can or not, again that is something to address with either a doctor or pharmacist.

You mention his controlling nature and dependency on pain meds, both are issues that should be addressed before bringing another being into your family. Addicts can be very unpredictable and to be quite honest, dangerous.

I wish I could offer some miraculous insight into the problems he is having, but I am unable to do so. My recommendation is a visit to the doctor and marriage counseling.

Andi

[crabtree]

Sorry, my login system is not working.

I am crabtree.

Well, we have been married for 7 years and i really wanted a child. What is wrong with that?

Yes, he is on medication. He has gout problem for the past few years and his knee cap and joints are affected. He does have gout attack from time to time.

He is on very strong pain killers and has been very dependent on it. I do not know if this will affect.

but is his case one on anaejaculation? Anyone has any facts and information on this?

[AndiJ78]

Is he on any meds? My dh tried using anti-depressants to treat his Seasonal Affect Disorder and within a few days, literally 3 or 4, suddenly his ejaculation was dramtically delayed and within 2 weeks no matter how hard he tried he could not ejaculate.

If he isn't on any meds, I would have to agree with the previous poster, anxiety over pregnancy could be causing it. Of course if neither of you are protecting against it, it is still possible to get pregnant via the pre-***.


Andi