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Avatar universal

This Cant Be Life, Please Help

Hi, Im a 20 year old male whos life took a dive into a complete sea of misery a couple months ago. Heres why..

Ok it all started back in March when I was having a bowel movement. During this BM, I felt my sense of control that Im supposed to have in my penis area (PC muscle, etc.) somehow get VERY weak, and at the same time I felt it get stronger in my rectum/anus. Ever since then my anal area is in constant discomfort and I can't "unfeel" it, like it wont go back to it's dormant state. In other words, somehow the dominance and sense of control I had in my penis area has shifted to my rectal/anal muscles.
FOR EXAMPLE: when I try to hold my pee (contract my PC muscle) I, instead, find myself contracting my anus/rectum. I tried having sex to reverse this feeling and spark life back into my penis area but apparently the feeling of sex has been totally altered also, when I ejaculate and I don't really feel it in my penis anymore, instead I feel my anal muscles contract .This is causing me to go insane, literally. I dont feel masculine anymore due to the absence of penis control/dominance that has been replaced with a constant tightening feeling in my anus that shouldn't be there. It's not really painful just mostly extremely uncomfortable and de-masculinizing. Ive had an ENG done with a neurologist to see if it was a nerve problem but the tests came back normal. So today I went back to my primary doctor and shes now leaning towards ANXIETY being the problem. She says my anxiety has caused my brain to produce chemicals that are disrupting the normal feelings that I'm supposed to have in my penis/anus. I've searched all over the internet and apparently this problem is virtually non existent .

Im extremely depressed and mentally disorientated. I'm contemplating suicide. I don't want to do it, but I really can't see myself living like this for too much longer. This is pure torture...
But PLEASE if anyone knows anything about this problem or has any idea what it could be PLEASE reply..
7 Responses
Avatar universal
Please do not even think about taking your life! I think this problem can be solved. Have you thought about seeing a Urologist? That's where I would turn to next. Have you ever had a problem with anxiety? It can cause so many different unusual symptoms. I wish I could be of more help to you right this minute. We have a man here on the Men's Health forum who's user name is Solace21. He is so great about figuring out these kinds of problems. He probably would'nt mind if you sent him a message and asked if he would read your post. Hang in there, okay. You've only seen one Dr so far. Keep searching, even if it means seeing several Drs, until you find out what's going on. There has to be an answer to your problem.
1843685 tn?1319461103
When you were having your bowel movement did you have to strain or where you constipated? If so, you may have pulled a muscle down there. Are you having trouble getting an erection? By the way, suicide is NOT the way to go. I have been suffering from the worst symptoms in the world, and I wouldn't dare take my life although that does seem like the easiest way out, but it really isn't. You don't even get to enjoy half of life then. Think about it!
Avatar universal
hi thanks for the reply

my primary doctor tried to send me to a Urologist FIRST before even seeing the neurologist but the urologist said "this doesn't sound like my criteria". and I was having anxiety issues before but they weren't as nearly intense as they have been since dealing with this problem. I get erections more often actually, but they dont feel the same as before since i cant identify with my PC muscle.
I just feel like every doctors going to tell me the same thing, which is "everything seems to be working fine". And I have to wait a WHOLE month for every appointment, what do I do in the mean time?? Besides sit here and suffer..
Avatar universal
hi Cam2890 thanks for replying

I was not necessarily constipated but the waste was very large and it took longer than normal for it to go. If I had torn a muscle wouldn't the neurologist have noticed it when he did the ENG? And wouldn't I be in pain? Just asking because I never really considered that to be the problem, Ill have to ask my doctor about that. I dont have a problem getting erect, but the erections dont feel normal at all.
Avatar universal

  From your details it clear that you do not have any problem, especially so, when a neurologist and another doctor have seen you and cleared you of any health issues. I also presume that you have no major problem with the sex organs when you are in Moods.  

The PC (PuboCoccygeus) muscle as the name implies, is a layer of muscle tissues that connects to the Pubic bone on the front side  and to the Coccyx (Tail bone of the spine) at the back and is a part of the floor of the pelvis, which seats various organs of the pelvis. The ano-rectal muscles also have similar connection between the pubic bone and the tail bone and are closely interconnected with the PC muscle. So, when you tighten the PC muscle it is natural that it pulls up the sphincter  muscles of the anus.
It appears that your  attention fell on this aspect of the anal muscle contraction all on a sudden, which you believed to be a health issue and being young with a high level of concentration of mind you are unable to forget about it. So, all that you need to do is to forget about it and just relax. By proper training, you will be able to flex only the front part of the PC muscle whereby the movement of the anus muscle would be reduced, but it will never be zero. The exercise for strengthening the PC muscle, as you might know is known as Kegel exercise, which is used mainly to control  both  Urinary Incontinence as well as Fecal Incontinence, which clearly shows its role in controlling the anal muscles. The following link gives  more details of the exercise:


Now, coming to your observation of the anal opening not closing properly, I presume you find some bulges around the anal opening, as otherwise there is no reason for it to not to close. In case you have this problem, it is a common symptom of piles and you should consult a gastrointestinal doctor, who will be easily able to fix the problem with some ointments and some simple exercises. It is quite possible to have this condition if you have  an obese body and /or if you work for long hours in the sitting position.

And finally, as a little philosophical advice, you should know that human life is a great opportunity to live through and the challenges in life are the best way to enjoy this life. So if you always expect challenges ahead, the life will be so thrilling to live through. Keep always a positive attitude to life and try to help others who have got problems, never give up.
All the best,

Dear Remar,
Thank you so much for the over exaggerated introduction, but I do feel a bit nervous with such remarks.

Avatar universal
Solace. I hope you don't mind that I mentioned your name to this poster. I was at a loss and you are so good about getting to the root of problems and giving great advice, which you did. Next time I'll send you a PM first to let you know a poster needs advice right away. Sorry about that. Thank you so much for everything you do here on the Men's Health forum.    Remar
Avatar universal
Dear remar,
  Don't worry about it, I will be only happy if I could be of some help to some one.
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