Wife thinks its her fault I can't get full hard erection. We're in our 50's

[CharlyJ]

My wife is 51 and I am 52. She thinks that I can't get a full erection because she thinks she is not sexy to me anymore. I love her very much and just can't get it thru her head the problem is my sex system, not her. The plumbing just doesn't work like it used to.

When we're together, I can't get a full hard erection. Lucky if its hard enough to penetrate her.

I have tried Viagra, no help at all. The only way I can seem to get a full(hard) erection is to look at x-rated movies. Then jump in bed. But even then it won't stay hard, it slowly goes down. So therefore my wife thinks its her. What she does not understand is when men get old. It takes allot of excitement for a older man to get and keep a full erection. We've been together 18yrs and used to have a great sex life.

It really bothers me that I can't stay hard for my wife. It all started bout 5 yrs ago. When I noticed that during sex my erection would soften. I had gained about 40 lbs in last 5 yrs, quit smoking and eat allot. And cholesterol is high too. So I figure my blood vessels in my penis are clogged.

Anyone else have this problem? I can get hard if I look at X-rated movies, but can't get full hard with my wife in foreplay. Even oral sex from my wife will not give me a erection. It has to be that the movies stimulate something, since they're more erotic.

I dream of the days we had great sex, hopeing someday I could again get and keep a hardon for our entire sexual act.

[Miko2097]

If you're getting hard to X rated movies then it's definately a psychological thing, not a physical thing - that's logical considering it CAN get hard.  You may not actually be sexually desiring your wife anymore.  You're mind is used to her and now needs something to 'thrill' it.  Try being extra naughty in bed. Think of something irregular but acceptably kinky.  Mess about!

[Surfduke]

You're on the right track when you say you think the penile arteries are clogged.  It is probably poor circulation which would not allow enough blood flow through the capillaries to effect great erection.  A doc should be able to rule out anything else such as diabetes, hypertension(or hypertensive meds you may be on.  The extra pounds certainly could be a factor and is pretty tough to cure. (Been there)  A good thought for food consumption is to ask yourself if you'd rather remain 40 lbs over by eating those oreos or if you'd rather have really good sex again. I had to lose 50 lbs years ago by fighting food temptation every day.  Its been 35 years and I still have to fight it..and my big appetite.

I'm betting that the erection problem is caused by a few physical things and will be resolved after your doctor visit. There are new meds out there that are better than Viagra.  He can guide you.  Good luck!

[who_dis]

First get a full physical at your doctors.  Don't be embarrassed to discuss this issue.  Impotence can be an important sign of several serious health problems.  

[siren of the sea]

you mentioned you took viagra, did a dr prescribe this or you bought it off the internet? i ask because of course you need to have a physical having your prostate checked. losing some weight might help too. dont feel as though its just your plumbing not working , there could be a very fixable solution!