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genital abnormality?

hi i am 19 and i am starting to get in a serious relationship, this has caused me to look into my genital health care. and i have sevral abnormailties i have questions about. im a shy person so im looking for alternitaves to it being examined by a doctor.  to note all these sympoms have been around even since i was little (well as far back as i can remember)

the head of my penis is not solid. having seen other pictures and examples of penis i am concerned of a disease. the only way i can describe this is the head of my penis is cracked. towards the crown of the head (sorry if my terminology is wrong. the section of the head closer to the shaft). there is a horizontal crack following the crown on the front of my penis. it does not hurt and has been there for as long as i can remember. nothing leaks from it but it is a abnormality. another way i can think to describe it is like a canyon, the crack is similar to a wrinkle but with the depth of it it reminds me of a canyon. it only goes in maybe 2mm or so, nothing really deep but it is noticeable. i thought maybe dehydration, so i tried lotion but i didn't notice any improvement.
another concern is the color. it seems "dirty" but no mater how many showers i take or how much i clean it it doesn't get better. i know penises tend to be darker but this is only the head and foreskin (i am circumsized), it appears more of a dirtyish color. the color is not solid either. some places theres more and some there isnt.

any help would be apreciated. as i said im shy and i dont think i could handle this face to face with a doctor unless i knew for sure i needed it. and yes i am a virgin i have had no sexual contact of any kind via my genitals.

note- once my mother mentioned that the doctor gave her a substance (she didnt remember the name of it) after her pregnancy, she mistakenly thought it was a substance used on the baby;s skin such as a lotion. she said i screamed and cryed bloody murder. i dont know if this has anything to do with it but i thought i should mention.

another note- im really sorry for how confusing this description is. i have never discussed it with anyone and im not sure how to describe it
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Avatar universal
This is something that either we would have to see a pic of to get a better idea, or that you should go see a doctor about to what im sure will be to alleviate your concerns.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Have you ever had a physical or checkup. was this noticed.

I understand how difficult it is. but go see a Dr. and get a second oppinion if what you find does not make sense. keep looking until your are confortable with this and confortable with being different. There are all kinds of differences some not so common.
Dr's are used to this. tell yourself you dont care.
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