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losing erection

I'm a gay and i have a question, when i'm bottoming my penis goes soft and when pull out i get hard immediately, it happens to a lot of gays differently, my friend is versatile, if he started bottoming he loses the erection and when he switches the position he can't go hard for the whole this meeting, now he is who start topping to not loses the erection, everyone says it is psychologically reason or not turned on or discomfort.. etc, no it is not, i'm so turned on and comfortable, there is a relation between penetration and erection, can you tell me why is this happen?? thanks in advance
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207091 tn?1337709493
I'm a little confused, so let me clarify.

You say that when you are bottoming, you lose your erection, then if your partner pulls out, you're immediately erect again? When your friend tops, he can't stay hard?

After your partner is fully inside, do you get your erection back? Have you tried using your hands/your partners hands to get it back? Does it happen with toys?

Just like with most things, every person reacts differently. Not every man can maintain an erection through anal sex. A lot depends on the sensations - too much, too little, if there's pain (and I know there doesn't have to be pain, but if prep isn't done well enough, there can be), etc.

Physically, not every man will get an erection from anal sex. If you lose the erection while being penetrated, and get it back when you aren't, it might be something with the vagus nerve, which is tied to blood pressure. If your blood pressure is low, it might make it difficult to maintain an erection when your vagus nerve is involved.

I did a quick google search on this, and there are a lot of threads about this on Reddit. I'd guess about half of the men who responded, maybe more, said they have the same experience.
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2 Comments
1- You say that when you are bottoming, you lose your erection, then if your partner pulls out, you're immediately erect again?
yes

2- When your friend tops, he can't stay hard?
he is not my sex partner but he told me about his situation, when he start off bottoming he loses his erection and when it becomes to his turn for topping he can't get the erection for the whole meeting, now he learned to start off topping first to not loses the erection and when he switches to bottoming and loses the erection it won't be matter because he already has topped

3- After your partner is fully inside, do you get your erection back?
at first, i'm hard but when my partner inside me i lose the erection, i get it back after he pulls out

4-  Have you tried using your hands/your partners hands to get it back?
yes, it doesn't work

5- Does it happen with toys?
yes it does

there are other situations i didn't tell about
a lot of bottom guys told me they lost their erection forever after the first time penetration.
a different situation is upset, a lot of guys told me they can't get erection until they get penetrated, no doubt penetration is playing a real rule for getting the erection or losing it, only gays know it, i really hope to find the answer
Some guys can't maintain an erection while being penetrated. Since it happens to you with toys, and not just a penis, that suggests that it's not psychological, but physical.

Since using hands doesn't work, that adds further to the idea that it has something to do with a nerve, perhaps the vagus nerve.

Do you lose the erection if your partner is just using his fingers but isn't putting any pressure on your prostate?

The ONLY thing I've been able to find to medically/scientifically explain this is:

"Sometimes an erection is lost with prostate stimulation—that is okay, it just means that the focus has moved."

https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/ppv8d9/everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-anal-sex

(That's pretty pitiful - it seems there would be way more on this. There's lots of stuff about it after treatment for prostate cancer, but not in otherwise healthy men.)




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