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Avatar universal

one night stands

this is a similar question to some of the ones ive seen posted. im  a healthy 21 male and i dont have problems getting erections normally, especially while receiving oral sex. but... when the time comes to having intercourse, i sometimes "lose it" between getting oral sex and penetration. this happened at the beginning of some of my relationships, but went away after a few months almost completely. (although mentally i still felt limited to "penetrate quickly" so as to not lose my erection).  the problem mainly occurs when I'm having a one night stand or random sex. I'm worried I'll lose my erection (especially with condom use) and then it happens, but its a catch 22. when i try not to worry about it, i am.  i think its mainly a mental thing because i'm under pressure to perform and pleasure whomever im having sex with but i dont know what to do about it. any advice would be greatly appreciated. thanks.
3 Responses
Avatar universal
i have the same problem, oral sex i am fine with, but when it comes to putting on the condom thats it i go soft,
are you cut or uncut?
i am cut and find that condoms don't offer me any help in the sensative issue, as in i have lost sensations in my penis from being cut i would imagine....

does it happen when you don't use protection..... interesting theory though
Avatar universal
its better when i'm not using a condom, only in that I'm able to penetrate quickly as soon as i'm erect and not have to worry about fumbling around for a condom and getting it on, which is why i prefer not to use condoms.  and i am circumcised.

but i think its mainly a mental problem because the other week i had an (unsuccsessful) one night stand but recently slept with that person successfully the other night. it might have been just the fact that it was the second time we were intimate and it was much better at maintaining an erection the second time. any advice for someone who still wants to have one night stands? thanks.
Avatar universal
> any advice for someone who still wants to have one night stands? thanks

If there is nothing wrong from a medical point of view, then all you can do is to relax and abolish anxiety about yourself, your sex performance, your partner. Concentrating on the positive side of things and being satisfied with yourself, with what you are, may help. Also getting involved in some kind of activity that in your mind would improve your image (e.g. some sport), may also help to gain self-esteem. And always have a varied and good diet sufficiently rich in essential trace elements, especially those that are important to men's sexual health, like zinc.

The fact that you are circumcised may also be an explanation for your situation. It depends. Circumcision will certainly alter to a certain point your sex life (since the glans is all time exposed--and it should not be, that's why there is the foreskin--and consequently it loses part of its sensitivity) but in some cases it may ruin it. I wish you are not in the second category.
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