Aa
sex question
hi everyone..I have a question for you men.
first of all i am 30yrs old i am married to a 26 yr old man.
im 5'7 140lbs long dark hair(latina). b4 i ask the question let me tell you why i ask. ok when my husband and i first got together he used to tell me how happy he was that my sexual drive was as high as his. both of us had been married b4 and had BLA sex lifes. he would want to have sex any time. i was very happy with that. in the last 6 months i've to BEG for sex and even then i dont get it. i try everything.. if i try to touch his penis he gives me a freaking karate chop block and i cant even touch it. He says " stop honey im so tierd" or "just stop im NOT in the mood" i tell him to let me get him in the mood but nothine. i have tried wearing sexy lil outfits but nothine i have tierd everything. i bought a small purple toy and it seems to work if i play with it while i lay next to him after he acts like he has fallen to sleep then he will turn around and take me. but to be honest i hate the toy. he told me that there is no married men that really would like to have sex everyday. and that if they say they do then they are liars. my question is just that. is it true that men really dont want sex as much as they say they do and why when u have a good looking wife willing to do ANYTHING you want in bed would u turn it down?
So come on men be honest..
AT
first of all i am 30yrs old i am married to a 26 yr old man.
im 5'7 140lbs long dark hair(latina). b4 i ask the question let me tell you why i ask. ok when my husband and i first got together he used to tell me how happy he was that my sexual drive was as high as his. both of us had been married b4 and had BLA sex lifes. he would want to have sex any time. i was very happy with that. in the last 6 months i've to BEG for sex and even then i dont get it. i try everything.. if i try to touch his penis he gives me a freaking karate chop block and i cant even touch it. He says " stop honey im so tierd" or "just stop im NOT in the mood" i tell him to let me get him in the mood but nothine. i have tried wearing sexy lil outfits but nothine i have tierd everything. i bought a small purple toy and it seems to work if i play with it while i lay next to him after he acts like he has fallen to sleep then he will turn around and take me. but to be honest i hate the toy. he told me that there is no married men that really would like to have sex everyday. and that if they say they do then they are liars. my question is just that. is it true that men really dont want sex as much as they say they do and why when u have a good looking wife willing to do ANYTHING you want in bed would u turn it down?
So come on men be honest..
AT
hi there..
i call it "karate chop block" becouse he will be laing on his back and i'll be next to him and as soon as he feels my hand go down there his hand flys down to block my touch. And i will tell him, " ahh using the "karate chop block" again!
after i try he will hold my hands and kiss them but will not let them go. ill say let me hand go and he will say he just wants to hold them cuz he loves me......
i call it "karate chop block" becouse he will be laing on his back and i'll be next to him and as soon as he feels my hand go down there his hand flys down to block my touch. And i will tell him, " ahh using the "karate chop block" again!
after i try he will hold my hands and kiss them but will not let them go. ill say let me hand go and he will say he just wants to hold them cuz he loves me......
as i read all this comments it got me thinking. he does always think that his penis is not hard enough however it is always VERY hard. and when i try to well you know...he says wait honey its not hard enough but it is...maybe he is worried about his performance....but i dont think a man would admit to that...i have never really thought about that till now.. i will keep reading and tring to think of other things.
Men alway say they dont understand us girls but OMG are they hard to read also.
Men alway say they dont understand us girls but OMG are they hard to read also.
its time to quit talking about counseling and just go. Beams and nowherechild are right- hes not being honest with you.
Did anyone see that he gives her a "karate chop block" when she tries to touch him? This seems more to me than just plain tiredness or differing sexual needs. He adamantly doesn't want to have sex with her, and tries everything to avoid it. She needs to find out why, exactly.
I mentioned your post last night to dh and he said that a baby should not be added right now and that a serious talk needs to be done. I feel the same way now as I thought about it. Does he seem to do anything different since you got married? It does seem funny to go from wanting it all the time to hardly ever. Even when my dh worked 2 jobs and was in the reserves he still was razzed by his coworkers because I was always preggers they told him to get a hobby, He was tired but always found a way to have sex every night. Good luck.
If you have only been married a year and there has been a dramatic change in his desire for sex with you even though you are TTC, I would definately worry about it and start counseling quickly. I would also worry if thuoghts of him having an affair have crossed your mind...often when that crosses your mind it turns out to be true.
The rejection has to be very hard on you and make you feel bad about yourself so I would get to the bottom of it BEFORE you conceive. Intimacy problems can really increase when you add a baby to the scene, I'd try to solve it before.
For a young guy to only want sex once a week is odd if you ask me. Maybe if he was 50+ it would make sense but eve a very tired young man can usualy find energy for a pretty, willing wife.
The rejection has to be very hard on you and make you feel bad about yourself so I would get to the bottom of it BEFORE you conceive. Intimacy problems can really increase when you add a baby to the scene, I'd try to solve it before.
For a young guy to only want sex once a week is odd if you ask me. Maybe if he was 50+ it would make sense but eve a very tired young man can usualy find energy for a pretty, willing wife.
maybe time to go out for awhile, that might wake him up..you dont want to keep living like this..it will only get worse.
We have talked about going to couple couneling
and he is all for it. He says he cant wait to have someone tell me that there is nothine wrong with having sex once a week.
and he is all for it. He says he cant wait to have someone tell me that there is nothine wrong with having sex once a week.
you can come to my house anytime. i would love the little outfits, all that attention cause you love him
try couple couneling
try couple couneling
we talk all the time about it he says he is just not in the mood. as far as the baby, he is always talking about it always bringing HPT home for me to take. he is very excited and wants a baby so bad, so i know its not the baby issue.
but when he says he is NOT in the mood and i offer to try to get him IN the mood he doesnt even want me to do that.
i trust him very much but it makes me wonder whats going on. how can u go from been very very sexual to just a little. and he is 26.
i think about his job he is a tech and is alwys in and out of peoples house his buddys are always joking about how he has sex with his girl clients. im not saing he is doing that but.....i know its all in my head.
but when he says he is NOT in the mood and i offer to try to get him IN the mood he doesnt even want me to do that.
i trust him very much but it makes me wonder whats going on. how can u go from been very very sexual to just a little. and he is 26.
i think about his job he is a tech and is alwys in and out of peoples house his buddys are always joking about how he has sex with his girl clients. im not saing he is doing that but.....i know its all in my head.
I know you are trying to have a baby, and I'm wondering if your DH isn't ready for a baby yet and this is his way of coping with it (rather than discussing it with you).
My DH is 27 and while he doesn't want sex every single night, he is definitely on board with every other night.
I'd definitely take missie's suggestion and try to understand what might be bothering him.
My DH is 27 and while he doesn't want sex every single night, he is definitely on board with every other night.
I'd definitely take missie's suggestion and try to understand what might be bothering him.
I am not real sure how to answer your question but I am 37 and my husband is 42 and he want sex every night. Maybe something is bothering your husband. Have you tried talking to him about the problem?
good luck Maybe someone else he can answer you better.
good luck Maybe someone else he can answer you better.
"we have been TTC for 6 months" I'm pretty sure that's your answer right there. Deciding to have a baby is definitely life-altering, and he's no doubt worried about whether he'd make a good dad, whether you'll be able to get pregnant, what having a baby would be like, will he be able to support it... and on and on and on... I think I'd sit down with him and make sure this really is what he wants. Maybe try going back to protected sex for a while. And see a sex therapist to help you both work out all the issues involved :-)
thank you guys for the advice and comments.
we have a very communitcation at least thats how i feel.
we are always sharing our feeling. and take about sex all the time. however when it comes time to talk about why he is not in the mood alot he kindda gets frustraded and the talk stops.
He just says he is just tierd and its hard for him to be in the mood when he is tierd. but he doesnt even let me try to get him in the mood. when he is not in the"mood" i cant even touch his penis or chest he will just give me little kisses(no tounge) and he asks me to lay my head on his shoulder and holds on to my hands so they dont wonder.
We have been together for a year and just got married this April. we have been TTC for 6 months. and he really really wants a baby. he is always talking about it.
I tell him that in order for me to get pregnant(lotta problems getting that to happen) we have to "have" sex.
I do have to admit that he is very attentive and caring. he gives me alot of attention. i just wish i knew what i could do to find out why he has been so distant in that department.
we have a very communitcation at least thats how i feel.
we are always sharing our feeling. and take about sex all the time. however when it comes time to talk about why he is not in the mood alot he kindda gets frustraded and the talk stops.
He just says he is just tierd and its hard for him to be in the mood when he is tierd. but he doesnt even let me try to get him in the mood. when he is not in the"mood" i cant even touch his penis or chest he will just give me little kisses(no tounge) and he asks me to lay my head on his shoulder and holds on to my hands so they dont wonder.
We have been together for a year and just got married this April. we have been TTC for 6 months. and he really really wants a baby. he is always talking about it.
I tell him that in order for me to get pregnant(lotta problems getting that to happen) we have to "have" sex.
I do have to admit that he is very attentive and caring. he gives me alot of attention. i just wish i knew what i could do to find out why he has been so distant in that department.
I'd look at what may have happened in the last six months to change how he feels about being sexual. Anything new? How long have you been together? I also HIGHLY recommend reading "Passionate Marriage" by David Schnarch. It can be a difficult read, but it's truly excellent and well worthwhile. I also urge you to consider seeing a sex therapist together - or alone, if he won't go. A sex therapist isn't going to criticize either of you for wanting sex more or less ;-)
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