20899505 tn?1601782302

How can I get a physicist/ diagnosis without my parents knowing?

I'm 14 years old and I just feel my mental status is not what it should be. Whether I'm suffering from a lack of social activity, or feeling really down, I feel like I can't talk to anyone about my mental health. however, I did talk to my mom twice about mental health and I broke down. I hated it and I felt like she was choking my feelings out of me and got too far in my business to the point where it made me uncomfortable. I've been suffering for 3 years now and it's time I got some help. I really don't want anyone to know and I can't pay for therapy/ diagnosis. What do I do??
5 Responses
20899505 tn?1601782302
Sorry, AUTOCORRECT. I meant Psychiatrist
Avatar universal
If you can't pay for therapy or diagnosis you won't get therapy or a diagnosis.  It isn't free.  And if you think your Mom is getting into your business, just wait until you do see a therapist for a diagnosis.  So I'm afraid you're going to have to talk to your Mom.  I'm sure she's just trying to understand so she can help you, but mental problems can be rough, some, and sometime that includes parents, can be very judgmental about them or just don't believe in them.  On the other hand, just feeling like things aren't what they should be doesn't sound like a mental illness, it just sounds like the normal fluctuations in life.  If you describe things better and more completely you'll get better answers here and from your Mom than if you're vague.  Is it anxiety?  Do you think you're depressed?  Are things just not going that well right now?  It matters, because you don't know it now but you will soon, when you're 14 stuff changes really fast.  You could feel great in a couple of months and this will be just a memory.  On the other hand, if this has been going on for a long time, or if something traumatic has happened, that's again a different story.  The more you tell your Mom, us, or your therapist, the better the help you can get.  
And I should add, you generally see a psychiatrist if you believe you need medication.  While some still do therapy, it costs even more than a psychologist or other type of therapist to get it, and because they are medically trained, they have a predisposition to medication.  Given it doesn't sound like you're so impaired that you can't function, medication is probably not needed yet, but there could be a lot more to what's going on.  So I think what you want is a psychologist, at least to start with, or some other therapist.  
Smh, yeah I meant psychologist... I've never been good with spelling. But yeah your probably right. I just really hate talking to my parents because.... they're my parents. Idk if you remember but about a year ago I posted a question about if I had social anxiety or not. Regardless, things just went downhill from there. I wasn't just scared, I was too dejected to talk to anyone and it wasn't healthy. The reason I'm not sure if this is normal because I've had these feelings of anxiety and... "down-ness" for 3 years now. I just want to get help to reduce the chance of anything worse in the future. How do I bring this up with my parents if I really don't have anyone to turn to?
It sounds like a bit of depression going on.  Any idea why?  Anything happen 3 years ago that might have affected you in such a way?  As to how to talk to your parents, we all have different relationships with our parents.  I don't know yours.  But if it's not anything about them and how they react to you and it's just you being, well, stubborn, then stop being stubborn and just talk to them.  They're just human like you and everyone you know are, which means they will react as the humans they are and according to their personalities.  When you have your own money and your own home and you're old enough to make stupid decisions of your own, as we all pretty much do, then you can do as you wish, but when you're young and living with your parents and dependent on them for pretty much everything, you have to talk to them unless they are the problem.  In that case, your school, assuming it's actually open, has a counselor you can talk to and social service organization also exist to help those who are, say, being abused by their parents or the like, but that doesn't sound like you.  When we're depressed or anxious or both, we avoid things.  Which makes things better temporarily and worse in the long term.  It sounds more like you're trying to avoid dealing with this stuff than having a real problem with your parents.  The more you talk to them, the more of a relationship of human to human you'll have with them, which you might as well have since you're both stuck with each other for awhile, right?
I'll try to explain what i'm thinking as best I can:
Humans are social beings, so I guess we mostly vibe mostly off of other people. There's a lot of effects when you're alone and feel alone deep down for such a long period of time. For example, no one to tell when you're struggling, not being able to trust the few friends you have, episodes... etc. For me, it's hard to tell the difference between lonliness and (minor) depression because I'm not suicidal and I'll act like myself around people I'm comfortable with. It just feels like i'm seeing the world in no color.  And yes I'll admit that I'm generally a stubborn person and have a lot of barriers of what I think I can and can't do.  You make it sound fairly easy since my parents are not abusive and are nice people. I just hate when people who know me personally, know I'm struggling, so I just beat myself down. Why? I'm really not sure.... Thank for your help
That's pretty much the definition of depression -- feeling down for no particular reason.  It's irrational, just as anxiety is.  It's very different from bad things happening and feeling bad about that.  It's just there.  Not all people are all that social.  Generally, human beings are a gregarious species, and benefit from working together as in nature we lack speed, agility, big teeth, armor -- so we have to work together to survive.  But that doesn't mean everyone likes other people as much as others do.  For some, being alone a lot is happier, and for others, it's not.  For you, it sounds like you are fine when you actually interact with people but just don't do it as much as you'd like or feel you should.  Distinguish between what you should do, and what you want to do in relation to enjoying the company of others, but again generally, young people are a whole lot more gregarious than older people.  It's part of development to learn to get along with others because as humans there's little we can actually do alone because, again, we don't have the tools other than our brains to survive.  We're pretty weak as far as animals go individually.  So that social thing is an instinct.  But in our modern society, it's a lot easier to get along without a lot of company.  So you have to decide, do you avoid others out of avoidance or out of liking to be alone more than others do.  Not a judgment thing, just a personality thing.  But when we're depressed, we withdraw from people and they withdraw from us and that's just no fun at all.  Hope you find you way.  Peace.
973741 tn?1342342773
How is it going angelrose?  Was thinking of you.  Hope you are doing okay.  Make any progress with things?
Avatar universal
Without money, you can't go to a Psychiatrist.
And you can't even talk about your parents, so try to contact your other family members, your uncle or aunt.
Tell them you have this kind of issue and you need help. Maybe they will help you.
Else you can borrow money from your friends and return it later.
1999441 tn?1589741765
At least your mother sounds like she is interested and wants to help you.  Back when I was your age, I tried to talk to my mother and she acted like it was all on her and how she was a terrible mother and I shouldn't be feeling that way and I should 'pull myself up by my bootstraps" (what ever that means) and get over it and get on with my life.  She didn't believe kids my age should have mental problems and had no reason to have any.  So I suffered through on my own.  So bite the bullet and talk to your mother or find another relative to talk to or perhaps your minister.
Me, too.  We're about the same age, and when we were young mental problems were disbelieved and a sign of "laziness."  We definitely don't want to go back there.
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Mental Health Issues Community

Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
15 signs that it’s more than just the blues
Can depression and anxiety cause heart disease? Get the facts in this Missouri Medicine report.
Simple, drug-free tips to banish the blues.
A guide to 10 common phobias.
Are there grounds to recommend coffee consumption? Recent studies perk interest.
For many, mental health care is prohibitively expensive. Dr. Rebecca Resnik provides a guide on how to find free or reduced-fee treatment in your area