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Avatar universal

I am so paranoic about everything...

I have already posted the genetic part of this story in the DNA/Paternity community. It's kind of a messed up story.
Long story short, I am paranoid about everything that I do. I always think that the outcome that has the lowest chance of being true will be true.
One of the examples that makes me the most uncomfortable is my brother's birth. I am paranoic that I am involved in his birth, because my mom got the news about him around the time that I masturbated in the bathtub (didn't leave anything in the water, only on myself, cleaned everything up, then drained the bathtub). Then after half an hour, my mother goes to take a bath. I know that the chances are almost impossible for me to be involved in this, but I still am paranoic that I might be. This is just the example that makes me the most anxious. What should I do about this?
2 Responses
Avatar universal
First, learn about how babies are made.  It can be helpful when you're obsessing to do some research on the subject.  That way, you'll learn something while also hopefully demystifying these thoughts.  You will of course learn what you already know, that this isn't how it works.  But that's just the short term.  For the long term, if you have a problem of obsessing over things, especially things that are irrational fears, that's a chronic anxiety problem.  What you obsess over isn't as important as the fact you're obsessing over anything to the point it's affecting you're ability to function in life.  The first step when you have this problem is to go to work on changing how you think.  There are relaxation techniques such as meditation that can help, but the most used way to deal with this is to find a psychologist who specializes in anxiety treatment and see if it works for you.  If it gets so bad you can't function well at all, medication might prove to be necessary; your psychologist will tell you if you need to do this.  There are other ways to talk yourself out of anxiety, but it's hard, so most start with a therapist.  
5 Comments
Hey, thanks for the quick response.
The only problem in the short term is that I have that belief that belief that everything is possible. I have researched the subject on the internet, most people say it's impossible, some say the chance is infinitely small. I don't know how to get this thought out of my head.
No, you don't.  I don't know how to get these thoughts out of my head, either.  Once anxiety sufferers get these thoughts imprinted, if we knew how to get them out of our heads, obviously, we'd just do it.  When we can't do it and it lasts and lasts and our lives start to shrivel, it's time to get help.  The sooner the better.  It's just learning how to read -- a good teacher helps us do it.  I would ask, is this the only time you've had such an obsessive thought?  And look, nobody has ever lived without having obsessive thoughts here and there.  People are obsessive creatures.  All creatures, actually, are pretty obsessive -- much of life is repetitive behavior learned through evolution to achieve survival.  But most people aren't bothered by it.  Their lives don't become so concerning they end up on forums like this one.  We obsess over subjects in school.  We obsess over a good book that enthralls us.  We obsess over work.  But it's only when we obsess to excess and to unhappiness, and especially when we obsess over irrational thoughts and it becomes a chronic way of thinking that it becomes something that needs fixing.  You have a belief that everything is possible, or so you say, but I bet you don't.  I bet you don't believe you can jump high enough to touch the moon.  I bet you don't believe you can live without drinking water.  I'd bet there are tons of things you recognize can't happen.  There is, on the other hand, much in life that people think isn't possible that turns out to be possible.  Sometimes we're wrong.  But you have to look at the specific thing you're talking about.  The lifespan of sperm.  The extreme difficulty of getting someone pregnant even when you have sex.  These aren't in the realm of the unknown.  It's a great thing to have curiosity, but that doesn't make you unhappy.  This does.  It's not the specific thought that matters, it's that you can't get it out of your head and that makes your life smaller that is the problem.  Again, if this is the only time this has happened, maybe there's something else going on here.  No way for us to know.  We only know that we've gotten anxious thinking and it's just no fun to hang onto that way of living.  Peace.
You mean the only time a thought like this happened? If so, yes, it's kind of the first of this kind.
I mean, there have been some obsessive thoughts in the past, not so bad as this one, but this one is particular for obvious reasons.
Well, maybe not so obvious.  Why this one issue?  Why not anything else?  Might be a reason, no?  Therapy sounds more and more like a really good idea for you.
973741 tn?1342346373
Therapy seems a natural fit for you. You have been told by several people on the many posts you've made about this that you can't get pregnant that way but still ruminate.  Therapy is really going to be the only way for you.
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