I think I have PTSD

[prollyadhd]

In 2014, a girl I was in love with caused me harm, that led to my first depressive phase ever. After a year I thought I got over it but for the love of god I couldn't get her out of my head. Ever since then, I would end up remembering the trauma and falling back into depression on a yearly basis. The triggers can be, seeing her, seeing any relative of hers, even seeing someone that looks like her can cause me to get depressed again and even hurt myself or even worse, attempt suicide.

I tried to bring this up in my therapy but my therapist wasn't at all interested in talking about this and seemingly put *me* at fault. I know I'm not completely innocent but that isn't a way to speak to a patient - I think - especially one that was considering suicide. I stopped going to that therapist a while after this occurred, but It's too expensive to go to other people.

[RockRose]

What do you mean by the therapist "put you at fault"?

[prollyadhd]

Like she said, that I also caused that person harm even though I didn't. Maybe she didn't understand the issue clearly. However, during my sessions I noticed that she had this sort of bias against me, It could be just me talking out of my ass but she's the only therapist that's affordable for me right now (based in Lebanon)

[RockRose]

Well,  what were you specifically seeking in therapy?  If you're seeking to lessen symptoms of PTSD,  or anxiety,  can you google anxiety or PTSD?  To have those strategies be affective,  you don't really have to discuss the cause of the anxiety.

Best wishes.

[RockRose]

Let me rephrase that.  What you need,  in therapy,  isn't necessarily to rehash who hurt who in a relationship.  You need strategies on how to get "unstuck" from this grief,  that is likely not grief about the relationship,  but is something else and you're referring that grief on this relationship.  The fact that you felt better a year after the breakup,  is an indication that distress that you're experiencing isn't really  caused by this relationship,  but something else that you're not realizing and addressing.