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Avatar universal

Why does someone want to kill people if they leave them, or else, kill herself?

Hi!
I have a friend who is very kind and wise beyond her age, but she is also very reserved and quiet. We recently have a small, intimate group talk. She promptly told us that if she let someone in her life (I guess closely or in an intimate way), she had this urge to keep them close, and if they left, she would want to kill them, or else, she would want to kill herself. We also asked her about the real reason and problem why she was so willing to listen and give advice to everyone's problem without ever needing to have something back. However, she just kept saying that she honestly didn't know why. She said she just couldn't tell us anything because she also didn't know what was the problem.
I don't know if her answer to our question is okay or not, but, to me, her comment on the urge that she has is truly not okay. Can anyone in the forum tell me why she can have that kind of thought? I'm really worried for her after that, and I also want to know some reasons why someone thinks like that.
Thank you very much!
2 Responses
Avatar universal
My own opinion is whatever anyone here would have to say would be meaningless unless you gave a lot more information about what you're talking about.  People have all kinds of thoughts and people say all kinds of things.  That doesn't mean they will act on that or that they even have had the thought they are musing about, it might be an offhand statement to get a rise out of you.  Who knows?  We'd all have to know this person really well to know.  If she means it, yes, this is a problem, obviously, as she is saying she's so intense and possessive that she would readily resort to murder or suicide.  Troubling if true.  Question is, is it true?  And if she's speaking hypothetically, does that mean she's never had an intimate relationship?  Because if she has never had one, how would she even have a real clue what one is like and what ending one is like?  You obviously need to know a whole lot more about this person than you're stating here to know anything at all.  We all know people who regularly use hyperbole.  Most of us have never known anyone who said they were going to commit murder or suicide if something happened and then did it without something a lot more than that known about the person.  If you really want to know, as her.
973741 tn?1342342773
Oh gosh.  I think people making these statements are a bit frightening.  Some 'might' just be talking. I've probably uttered an untrue statement of I'd like to do something harmful to someone that made me super mad or myself but don't really mean it.  BUT, you never know.  I also have a child that was mentioning suicide and turns out he was serious (still alive but being treated for major depression).  So, I think deciding which it is can be tricky. If I loved someone who was saying this, I'd ask more questions.  Let them talk it out with me.  If I was truly worried for their or someone else's safety, I'd encourage them to get help. If it felt imminent that they might hurt someone else or themselves?  I'd feel like I should get them help if they turned down offers of it such as calling their family or 911 if I had to.  I want everyone to be safe.
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