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Avatar universal

agoraphobia

I feel like such a mucked up person. I have had anxiety, panic attacks, GAD and fear of vomiting since late childhood. Recently i have realized i think i have agoraphobia as well- avoid travel with others incase i get sick and cannot escape- and just my luck i get motion sickness easily. As i have got older, i have felt a stronger urge to not stay anywhere long as i need to get home, I am scared something- like a storm or earthquake will stop me from getting back to my house. Travelling away from home overnight is just not something i do and makes me feel pretty ill from anxiety if  i have to- had to visit my father in another city. I have to visit him again as he is very old- the need to fly is hellish and then to have to stay away is very stressful too. But how do you explain all this to anyone- its just pathetic and no-one really seems to understand anxiety. It just seems like i am totally selfish. I guess i am.
3 Responses
Avatar universal
I will not go outside unless there is something that I must do. When I go anywhere and have to stay, I usually sit next to the nearest exit or window. If I stay or go anywhere I have already created a path to get out in a hurry should something happens. In any new place as soon as I arrive I have a plan in my head what steps I need to take, what I need to grab as I'm leaving. I do not go to crowded places that block exits for me either. Call me crazy but I have done this since I have been little it has gotten worse lately. I wasn't aware of the word agoraphobia until a month or so ago. I really didn't think anything was wrong with what I was doing and that it is actually a phobia! I have lived like this for years. Go figure.
91034 tn?1401419903
I have the same exact fear of throwing up, or getting sick in public places! You are not alone and you are not crazy! It's just a phobia/anxiety and a "irrational" fear we live with. Every time I have to talk in front of people I almost have a panic attack and think I'm going to vomit or **** myself. It's the fear of embarrassment. My therapist says it's from trauma as a child , that we just started working on dealing with. I take pepto and emitrol everytime I'm in these situations. I carry a plastic bag with me and extra pair of pants (which I have never had to use) but it's a comfort to know I have it. YOUR NOT SELFISH!! YOUR NOT ALONE!! Have you spoke with a doc??
20842584 tn?1533058715
Oh God, this has been me since high school with the fear of gagging/throwing up. It has literally ruined my entire adult life as I had to drop out of school and couldn't work outside of the home ever again because it was so bad. SOmetimes even going out with friends or family is impossible; like it's a fun outing, nothing is going wrong, but I'll still get the stupid gagging and feel like I need to get home immediately.
NO ONE understands; my sister has anxiety too but not the gagging thing so she's always bullying me, telling me how she gets over hers and that I can too - but the fear of vomiting is just too strong, I can rarely go anywhere anymore.
My bf doesn't get it; he'll support me and always take me home if I need to but I don't think he agrees with it or understands. Nobody does. I definitely feel somewhat agoraphobic and I go out less and less and less.
It used to be that I'd make certain to go out for at least an hour a day, walking or window shopping. Now it's starting to get that I don't go out for days - but staying in also makes me feel worse, and crazy.

It's agonizing. I'm so glad to see I'm not alone in this. I know people are going to try to tell me to take meds or go see a counselor or doc - I've done EVERYTHING okay, over the past fifteen years. NOTHING has worked, not the yoga or relaxation practises. Nothing.
I think mostly I just need friends who go through the same thing so I can find support from them - it's killing me, especially the depression and loneliness that accompanies this.
1 Comments
Oh i feel for you and i wish the people in our lives could understand like we do.. I remember reading about Emetaphobia- fear of vomiting- and being amazed- had always thought it was just me-all my life since i was a teenager. i stopped eating before and during school nearly all my highschool years so that i wouldn't throw up in class.  I never told anyone- how could you?! No therapy had helped me either- or meds.  Always wonder if hypnosis would but the thought of losing control- prob the core of my fear- is too scary and that is what happens with hypnosis! Sending you love and strength..i know you have lots of it-i think we have to to cope with this. Theres an Emetaphobiawebsite/forum...you might find it helpful xox
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