Four days ago looking threw my husbands email for my daughter basketball info. i came across a response to a Craigslist personal ad. Oh my gosh i thought i was going to pass out and throw up at the same time.
We have been together for almost 18 years and married for 16, three great children, beautiful home and we both work hard and fulltime. Yes the marriage has had its strains but we have always come through. Three years ago i cought him paying for a site called "panty freak", I felt the same this time when i found that.To this day i hate to wear sexy thing becasue I know that is all he wants and that is why he was on that site. I went to a lawyer and started the paper work for divorce and out the house on the market. A offer came through on the house and that night I saw the hurt in my sons eyes and decided for their best interest that it wasn't the right thing to do.
I lost my dad over a year ago and my usband was great through the whole thing. i will admit after that the sex died alittle and my sadness took over but not to to the point that you could really tell.
Flash forward to 4 days ago. four days ago I found the email it was awful. he replied to a posting from a 33 year old on Craigslist. The reply read:
Sounds like fun! Tell me what do you look like, and do you like to wear sexy satin and silk lingerie? Professional 43yr old who isn't getting what he needs at home. I am 5'11" tall and weigh 190lbs blonde hair blue eyes. Tell me what turns you on! Would love to get off
Even now i want to be sick. i called him when i found it and he denied it at first and then admited to it in a text. stated he was just goofing off and never meant to send it. My how world has come crashing down again. I wanted him to leave, he asked if he could sleep on the couch for a few days and if i still wanted him to leave he will. I don't know what to do now. Its seem like every year around this time of year he goes crazy. I don't know what to do this time and do i wait for the next time.
I know i am not what i was evern 5 years ago but i am a hard worker and a good mom. I try to give him what he needs but sometimes i just want to sleep cause of my busy life. He also works 2nd shift and we really aren't together much. I guess the right thing to do is change for him but if he is willing to hurt me like this does he realy deserve for me to be someone I am not.
If I was given the choice for him to leave right now would I take it? I think i would. Yeah it hurts to know that that might be what he wants and that as soon as he is gone he wil will be with another and those thoughts make me sad and sick. but if he can go on sited like that i don't feel he deserves me.
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