First and foremost you need to relax. Why do you think you are going to die? Are you on any medication? You need to stop alcohol and smoking. Also you need to sleep well. You need to consult a physician and see what he has to say. Do you have any symptome of heartburn? You need to get proper sleep, maintain a healthy diet plan and drink plenty of fluids. Try some OTC painkillers if the headache is too much. Try some regular exercises and yoga. It would help. Goodluck.
Well, you have the classic symptoms of an anxiety disorder. Being worried all the time and being worried about dying are classic symptoms. Firstly, I doubt if you have a brain tumor which I know is what you are worried about. I'm not a doctor but it looks like you have a whopper of a tension or migraine headache and I bet with your anxiety you are clenching or grinding your teeth at night. That is causing some TMJ symptoms in you jaw. At 19, you are at the age of life change so you are bound to be more anxious. I know you guys hate to go to the doctor but you need to deal with this before it gets bad. Catching it early will save you a lot of pain. Make sure you tell the doctor about chronic anxiety and the headache duration. Your symptoms are so classic I don't know if they will want you to get an MRI or not, but a headache preventative that also helps with anxiety would be your best bet. If your doctor wants you on a preventative, you can start with the tricyclic antidepressants (I know you are not depressed but the same brain chemicals are involved in anxiety, depression, and migraine.) If the doctor wants to put you on an SSRI, like prozac or paxil- research the side effects very carefully before you decide to go on any of them. And remember, with such classic symptoms, it would be very rare for you to have anything life threatening. Take a deep breath and remember you are 19 - a great age.
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH man i was thinking it was a brain tumor becaue i think i even cause the symptoms onme by thinking of them liek tingily feeling onmy hand ect... but to tell you teh truth this anxiety started when my father died a year ago may he rest in peace so thats why ive beeen like this becuase he wa sso young he died at age 40 so that has really messed me up i ant enjoy a good night ot with my friend ormy girl because alli think is about death i know its going to happen one day but gooosh its so frustrating i whant to b normal again and now that i have potential chrons its more frustrating
Steven - I am so sorry that your Dad has passed. Angel, I'm a mom and I can tell you that you don't just have anxiety - you probably also have post-tramatic stress disorder (PTSD). Forty is so young and 18 is very young for you to lose him. I can tell you loved him a lot so he must have been a pretty good dad or the best one he could be. I don't know if you are spiritual or not, but I have faith that he is blessed and has gone to the heaven he believed in. And also as a mom, I can tell you that he really wants you to be happy. A year may seem like a long time but not when your Dad has died. You are absolutely normal for this to "mess you up." So I say, you need a plan. Here is my sample for you - feel free to substitute what is best for you - You know us moms we love to control everything! 1.) I don't know if your Dad died from complications of Crohns but go get a full physical with blood work including whatever he died from. We know you're fine but its all about control. 2.) You have to work through this death so it is vital that you tell the doctor that you are now worried about dying all the time. You can decide if your regular doctor should give you medicine or if you want to go to therapy. And don't you dare think therapy means you're crazy - in Malibu you are nobody unless you have your own therapist. 3.) I don't know that you are going to die someday. You are only 19, with medical advances who knows how long people will live. 4.) It is really scary to think what will happen when we die, if you are Catholic - make an appt to talk to your parish priest. Even if you are not one religion, Catholic, Lutherine, LDS - non-denominational - any nice looking church in your area - just call them and tell them you want to make an appt to talk with someone because you have had a very serious death in the family. Believe me, a good strong spiritual man regardless of religion will be able to set your mind at ease. That old saying "Time heals all wounds" is such wisdom. I swear it will get better. I have worked in med/surg insurance and mental health so if you have any problem getting appt etc.. post here - I can help you. You are going to be just fine, you just have some work to do. Post back if you need anything.
CONGRATS ON BEING A MOM I TO WOULD LOVE TO HAVE KIDS.well yes u are right i loved my father very much he was and still is my pride and joy..i know that every thing happens for a reason but i just feel so sad that it had to be his time i wish i could end this madnessof thinking these toughts and no he didnot die from chrons he died from electrucution and cought a bacteria atthe hospital that ate his liver so thats why he died .. i know that my chrons can be controled thats if it is chrons its a maybe says my gi doctor it can be inflmation in my colon so im not to worried yet..but i get panic attacks some times and i used t smoke weed and it would relax me and i enjoyed life now i smoke and i go crazy and paranoid i wish u could help iknow im not nothig of yours but im just asking for a hand some one to help me and i do have plenty of faith in god our maker so thats some what positive start but i just need to really relax because my mind is contoling me and i feel like a hostage to it...and whats and appt......ill do anything to relieve this tension and one more question can strees cause black spots on our skin like can u tell me what effects stress has on us and anxiety...and i would go to a therapist im pretty mature to not think that is for crazy people... is just for peoplelike me that need help....and understanding..so please get back at me thank you for your time
Steve - I am here for you. I'm not going anywhere. When you're my age there may be someone young in a difficult situation that you can help. You're just lost right now and that is not your fault. You've been through hell. Remember when 9-11 happened. I worked in Info Sys at a large mental health insurance co. - I think the company almost went under because so many people had to get mental health help. We had triage floors (where people in crisis call.) The company could not handle the calls. And it is a huge company. People were having panic attacks all over the place. Some flight attendents were hiding in their homes scared to come out much less go up in an airplane. Business people who worked in tall buildings were afraid to go to work. People couldn't get on elevators. We had pages overhead for anyone who had a behavioral health background to jump on the phones to direct people to services. I'm only telling you this so you can see that you are having an anxiety reaction that is really to be expected = especially if you are prone to anxiety anyway. Appt is short for doctors appointment(Insurance world) I'm not a doctor but from what I know so far, I think a short run on medication and some cognitive behavioral therapy would really help. I don't mean help a little, I mean you'll feel tons better and able to enjoy life again. Seriously, its not going to make you forget your father but you will be able to "handle" it, ya know. Chronic stress and anxiety can give you headaches, panic, aches and pains, can go into depression, inflammatory responses etc.... But you're dealing with it - I doubt if you'll have any long term negative effects. You are young, smart, and articulate. You're having a life problem and are reaching out to solve it. That is the definition of maturity and control. You will make a great Dad some day, and it might be one of your own kids you help who is struggling with anxiety (it's genetic, darn the luck). The medicines are amazing now - seriously. But let's get you the right help. Do you have health insurance, are you a student? If you are a student under your parents health plan, they probably offer (EAP) which is short for employee assistance program. That is good because you as a family member can get usually six to ten visits with a therapist for free. Copays for regular visits (exactly the same) are usually like 20 dollars each. I can help make this as inexpensive as possible. That would be for the therapist. Then you also have a choice of getting medicine from your regular doctor or a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist know so much more about how the medicines affect brain chemicals, serotonin, gaba, norep. etc... It is worth the referral. You only go to the psychiatrist a few times a year and your appointment is only like fifteen minutes. They only do medicine management. The therapist you see as often as fits in your schedule and you see him/her for fifty minute sessions. It is a pain going to those appointments because you have to dredge up all the feelings but getting them out actually trains the brain to start getting better. It is only the matter of a few short weeks and you WILL see major improvement. If you don't have insurance no worries, we'll find a program for you. I'm logging off to get to bed but will check back tomorrow night. Please respond so I know you are doing OK and let me know if you need help finding docs etc.. - Oh PS...I know you hear all over the place that stress can kill you but rarely at nineteen. Those black spots are probably just from the sun especially if they are round and consistent in color. It is jagged edged non-circular raised looking patches almost that is skin cancer. You can find pictures on line to compare and ask the doc but remember its the anxiety making you worry. Sleep good. Kat
kat i feel so much better talking to some one that understands melike you god sometimes makes us go through dificult moments so that we can learn how to ease some one elses pain..i was schocked at what you commented ..i didnt people after 9/11 had so many panic attacks i mean i cant talk me for example did not whantto get on a plane after 9/11 and i got on one 2 months later so what i whant to tell you by this is that i may have fears but i stand up to them and face them im tough and i know im going to get through this with your help and some fine doctors and on teh 13th i have my GI appointment so wish me luck on that and yes i do have insurane medic aid i think its under my mom so its a family health plan i guess but it pretty much lets me do anything and ohh i just dont feel comfortable going to a hospital therapist i like does that have there own because they become liek family with you ive been to does allready there more welcoming i feel that at hospitals they see so many patients that its hard to centralize on one like u get me....
ohh and dont think im just liek this because of my fathers death well ill give you teh whole insight on this since i feel so comfotable with you i really do...
well my dad was wealthy i mean to a point of wow so basicly he and my mom split up when i was 6yrs old that didnt affect me much because he was always around every day i got to spend quality time with him so he got together with this lady called yudith ooh was she nice at first until as most step moms they show there true face once they think they got there man in there pockets wroooong my dad was a play boy ..lol....didnt really mind what she had to say about him going out and partying so my dad caught her cheating on him she as well u know vice versa so here is when all starts going down hill a coronel and a ltnt of the police force in the dominican republic stole my dads suv u know that the corruption in dominican republic is incredible well atthe time i wasnt over there when it happened i was where im currently at right now new york for vacations my dad told me he had them thrown out the force for doing this my dad had allot of conections knew important people over tehre and stuff so come to find out that the women he was together with was teh one that made his suv get stolen she paid for it well my dad was about to split up with her for good thats when my dad had teh accident at his villa so got light up on fire becaus eit was an electic discharge from one of teh main power lines so she rushes and gets him to a hospital knowing teh poor conditions some hospitals have over tehre for treating this type pf burns she doesnt fly him out to miami or even here new york he had passed the 72 hour risk so she starts not letting noone see him not even hs mother my grand mother so my dad starts getting this depression mean while they are telling me that his fine finnaly my grand ma gets to see him and his words where mother why have you abandoned me so my grand mother not to upset him tells him it was doctors orders you know like not to start drama because my dad is in a delicate condition wellafter that my dad is starting to talk crazy liek you know when you are saying good bye well he was very sane he always was he told my uncle to take care of me and to never let me out of his site he even asked my uncle if he was afe atthat hospital because he felt he wasnt and that his life was at risk well comes wednesday and this women is teh only one to stay with him teh whooooooole day after she came out my dad started getting really sick his pressure his vital signs ect....he whants me to go because he needs to see me and talk to me well i fly out thre because my dad needs me and all im praying on te plane is that please god dont let my dad die on me so i get tehr and i go imediately to the hospital that he is admited in tehy dont let mesee him because visiting hours are over well i go teh next day and my dad has fallen in to a state that he cant talk he allreadyhas the respirator on to pump air for him so i know what is going to be the out come of this you know is that feeling you have in your stomach all thoe you dont whant it to happen or to be true well after i saw my dad the only thing he could do to comunicate with me was blink his eyes well 2 hours later doctors give me the news that my dad has passd im in schock i cant believe i have just predicted my dads death in some what feeling guilt why i dont know?? well you know now this lady is so happy because ohh she thinks shes getting half of evrything pus what my other little sister gets because they had a dauhter my sis...well here ste thing she did me and my other little sis ter from y moms mariiage with him very dirty...so we whent in to a legal dispute so stressfull so many liesso many tricks so much ambition from one selfish person..to the point that i didnt even what the money no more so my mother pulled out the ace she had under her sleeve legal papers saying she was stilllegaly my dads wife so you know what that meant 50% to my mom not to the lady he lived with well let me tell you what i inherated from my dad PROOOOBLEMS....why well ive been shot at for that money ive been aused of numorous ridiculos stupid and coniving things liek ive really suffered this loss on both ends my dad for once and what people have tried to do with his honor and his hard work in life so yup thats my life seems out of a movie only that here the people are reall the bullets are reall kidnaping is veeeeeeery reall trust me ive been close to that once and thats why i cant be relaxed at all til thee days that ive been here in new york and ive gotten away fromall that drama and crazy bull sh%^* sorry for my bad language...so now you really know me kat and my crazy life its funny how money changes people even my grand mother has developed a ambitios personality afterr being and elder its so ridiculous and she says shes christian and like im such a staright person i tell her that shes christian allright with the bible in one hand and a gun ina nother...lol that always gets to her...well im going to bed now i hope im not scaring you off...sweet dreams bye
Steve - Don't worry about your story scaring me away. My father, who is retired now was actually in Federal law enforcement his entire life. He worked for a "little" organization called the NSA (yes, the National Security Agency.) I learned gun safety at three - how to shoot a 357 magnum at 10, and spent the summer at Quantico (FBI training headquarters) at 16. I could tell you a some things I'm kinda proud of but I would get in trouble with my Dad. We have an on and off relationship. That type of work has given him issues, but in all seriousness - he has truly dedicated his life to this country. Listen, when you are out of the country - you may not be safe but in New York - you need to feel and be safe. At any time, you can make an appointment and go talk to the Bureau's office in your area. Take your paperwork, list of everyone you know and the status of your relationship. It will get put into a database somewhere. Then just spread the word that you were "advised' to do this. Doubt if anyone would want to risk it - Homeland Security and all.
Wow - Steve you could write a book. I'm so sorry this all has happened to you. When people die, the money, the possessions always become a problem - No matter what family. I have been amazed what I've seen family members do. I would feel so greedy, creepy trying to wiggle things out of the family. But it's me - Mom - again - for your future, you do need to get what is rightfully yours in the eyes of the law and based on your father's wishes. I don't know your plans, are you in college or working? I was always taught - don't trust anyone when it comes to money. I know it's blunt - but it is one of life's lessons. You don't talk about your mom much but I know she went to the mat for you and your sis. If you have an inheritance coming, get it in your name or in your name/trust controlled by a good lawyer who is part of the Bar Association and licensed to practice in New York. Make sure he works for YOU and its in writing. You are only 19 and going out to buy an expensive car and party may sound like the rage but life is all about security, security, security and oh yes, security. I know things seem crazy right now but on the bright side - it means your health is under so much stress that you'll get better, faster than most by just getting this all under control. I know the whole Christian thing too - I have an aunt who thinks she's practically a nun but she's off gossiping in the most painful ways. I know you want to lash out when you see the injustice with your grandmother and things but if your Dad was here he would be telling you, Life's' a game - play it smart. I'm so proud of you to be able to get this all out. Most young guys bottle up their feelings - but getting shot at is really serious stuff. This obviously explains so much of the anxiety. Is the probate stuff done? Once it is, that will help. Do you talk about all of this to your Mom. She might be worried sick about you, your uncle too. Find that core group of family and it might have to be you that brings them together. Family is the most important - as long as they are supportive. Gotta go - been struggling with a headache all day but if you need anything let me know. Hope you don't mind all the advice - take it with a grain of salt - my heart just really goes out to you. Kat
thanks again just reading your posts makes me feel better each day today i had a wonderful daytalking to my mom at home playing around with her we have a very close relationship its like we friends from high shcool lol,,but at 18 i did get a fancy expensiive car and i did go party rage ect...lol..but i noticed that its avery consuming dull life so i toned it down i said to my self jesus im living the life of a 30 year old man and im only 18 what am i thinking so basicly i enrolled my self in lending money its a reall round bussines kat trust me..most peole never pay the capital they just pay for ever and ever intrests..i know it sounds messed up from my part but its bussines...what can i say...so it whent well inone year i had 8 difrent cars my own apartment ect... but as you know when people smell money they will try to be your friends at all cost just to get a piece of teh action so ive been back stabbed a few times got up again with my head high..now i dont even trust my own shadow to tell you the truth i mean money wise and bussines related..i do have very great friends that have helped me and a beautiful girlfriend who is very suportive her and my mom are the ones that keep me fuled up every day to keep fighting..and thats cool that you learned all does things that you dad tought you..i own a glock 19 with the rapid shooting device gotta love it but its only for self defense idont abuse of the force..lol i feel like your my mom like im explaining everything like if you where to get mad at me..lol...in dr legal age to port a gun is 18 but with your mother or father consent that if you comitte a crime with it they will be held acount for it...so thats why is a big responsibility at my age to port one..and thanks to you i dont bottle up my emotions because it eats you up alive inside you have to let anger,pain,tears all thats in there out so it doesnt consume you thursday ill try to make an appt..with a therapist to treat my case..and one thing that does have me super excited is that my girl is coming next week to see me for christmas and she staying here till i recover from my stomach condition so her support is so good right now and im going to try to have a very good new years and hope next year brings in more hapyness and health in to yours and mines life and maybe winning the lotery wouldnt be so bad right??..hahaha
ps..i already did that thing you said about telling officers my case i have tree letters done of if somethig where to happen to me or my mother who to look for a priest has one a detective friend of ours has one and my aunt in miami has one so yeahh im prepared...........
thanks again kat
Well aren't you just the force to be reckoned with. Yes, the gun is such the responsibility. Please hide it well. I would hate for your girlfriend to think someone is getting in the house and accidently shoot it. OK - so you can see my mom side kicking in again. I'm glad you got to spend some time with your mom. This has probably been pretty stressful on her too. I hope you have a great Christmas with your girl too. You are so accomplished at such a young age - so much has happened before age 20. You are going to beat this anxiety thing faster than you think. The holidays are great but there will be some sad times thinking of your dad. Remember, he's up there watching you. Anytime, you are talking it out, your Mom, your girl, me - it will all help. It makes me feel good to see you getting through this - day by day. Feel free to write - anytime. Oh yea, make sure you find a therapist that is right for you - then it really becomes more like a friendship. No rush right now - with the holidays - most of the popular ones will be pretty booked up. Now, if you are having anxiety attacks and need Xanax or something - you can go to your regular GP. But you can't drink with it and if you are going out a lot, don't take it.
Yes, I bet the money thing is difficult with kids your age. We have a friend of the family with a few million. OK, yes - it's great that he has the money but he lost some of it and like you said - it became important to him to be around the money. He had comsumed himself with it to the point that when we would all get together - all he could talk about was who was at the last party he went to. And I'm sorry - we live in suburbia of St. Louis - I felt bad for him because he would be excited that he went to a party with the young guy who does the furniture commercials. I think that is part of being young - this friend has really done well as he -we all got older. But think about it - my daughter's favorite show is "Gossip Girl" she had read all the books. It's like Sex in the City for teenagers. Its a harmless show, pretty good for teen show - think about it though - your living that life. I have to jump off - but have a good day tomorrow - Hey and I vote for we win the lottery too! Take Care, Kat
yayyyyyyyy..lol i whent to my doctors appt today and guess what........................i have nothing wrong no mal absortion nothing cma up and she told that they ran some good test on the blood teh stool and evrything came out perfect no signs of abnormality i my system and she says im healthy and i commented about my anxiety and my stress and what had hapened with my dad so she made me and appt with a phsyciatrist spelled that wrong..lol so he can evaluate me she says that anxiety and stress aimfor the body and health so she said in could posibly be emotional all of this so im defetenily feeling so good...hurray for me..lmao
Woohoo! I knew you were going to be fine but I threw in a few prayers for the heck of it. This is perfect. With her referral they will probably send you to someone she knows. But don't be surprised if they don't have any openings for a while. Ask them to put you on the wait list in case someone cancels an appointment. OK, this is not politically correct - but some people with the really bad Mental Health problems - they cancel all the time. The first time you go, you look around to see if anyone there is scary - and it takes all of two minutes to figure out that it is a couple of business men, maybe a mom, and a teenager or two thrown in. Be sure to be there early because Pschiatrist appts usually run right on time - the first one maybe 20 minutes but most are ten minutes at the most. I am So glad the reports came back OK - you would have been dwelling in worry everytime you tried to have fun over Christmas. To celebrate, here is my funny work story that is short but absolutely true. I was running a project for the fraud department of the mental health insurance co I used to work for. One of the hired psych docs was arrested for insurance fraud. It was in the newspaper that day, that is actually how we found out about it. He was treating a multiple personality woman but for every one of her visits he was billing for like ten sessions. When they asked him why, (this is true) he said she had multiple personalities and every personality needed therapy. So when she said her name was June, he gave her therapy and when she switched over to let's say Andrea, he gave her therapy too! Needless, to say that didn't fly. But heck of a try.
I am go glad for you. With the anxiety though - if you have some goofy symptom that comes up - its still to be expected that you will worry that it is something bad. If it happens, just remember to tell yourself, you are only 19 and just got a clean bill of health. Its not a bad illness, its probably just anxieity. I think knowledge is power so just to help - you know how they say stress can bring on all these illnesses and in my head anyway I always said "yea right" how can this be all from anxiety. One really big reason is because of your sympathetic nervous system. It is a system in your body that you don't get to control, its like auto-pilot - it regulates "flight or fight" (which is your anxiety state when you have a panic attack) and is also responsible for resting state. It is very important that it reacts properly by using "fight or flight" but then shuts off and kicks in the resting state. Now, this is the short version and sorry if I didn't explain it that well but you get the gist. Actually, if you start having a panic attack and don't have medication, "my non-doctor opinion", the best thing to do is like 100 jumping jacks or running in place etc... anything to burn off the adrenaline. When that sypathetic nervous system isn't working right, all these health problems start up. But since its stress induced get rid of the stress and the illness goes away. Please for the next month give yourself total permission to "have fun". I don't know if this is the first Christmas without your Dad but when you think about him, just think about the good - one good thought at a time - not if, when or why - just the good. And please do this one little favor for me. Buy somethiing significant for your mom - it doesn't have to expensive. You and her in a picture frame from when you were little or some engraved little bracelet. Like I have always called my daughter Hunny Bunny. I didn't know it meant that much but when she went through a hard time - and it was bad - she just wanted me to call her Hunny Bunny. These are the important things. Plus you get bookoo sensitive points with your girlfriend. lol. Take care and I think I'll say a little "thanks" prayer tonight. Kat