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768044 tn?1294223436

Family Support

Does your family understand your migraine condition and give you support when needed?
7 Responses
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327385 tn?1378360731
i took my hubby to my migraine specialist appt. i was having a cluster migraine and dident know what kind i was having. my eye was swelled almost together. my spealist asked all kinds of questions and he looked at me like oh. she explained to us about the cluster migraines and how serious they were. she told him cluster migraines were 10xs more painfull than childbirth and people have commited sucide during an attack. i do believe thats when he understood what i was going threw and it wasent just a headache. i honestly believe if any family member would go and listen to what the doctors are saying that would make all the difference in the way migrainers are supported. its not just a headache !
Helpful - 0
681148 tn?1437661591
I'm pretty much on my own with all of my health issues, not just my migraines.  I live alone and the closest family member I have is still an hour drive on the freeway from where I live.  I rarely hear from this family member.  Not very supportive.
Helpful - 0
768044 tn?1294223436
I am so glad to hear that your husband came around and understands and supports you now. Was it because your headache specialist explained migraines to him that he started to understand? Or was it just you going to the headache specialist that made him realize it was serious? I wonder if that's why maybe other people's families are sometimes not supportive, if it's just because maybe they don't understand how serious migraines are? Anyway... I am glad that you have the support you need now... at the Chronic Pain Clinic I go to, in the waiting room people are always talking about how their family doesn't support them, and it's always so sad to hear... but, your story is uplifting because even though you didn't have support at first, now you do. It's good to know that sometimes non-supportive situations can change into supportive situations.
Helpful - 0
327385 tn?1378360731
i wasent supported with my migraines at all for years. i went to doctor after doctor with no dx or help. my hubby thought i was acting so he would leave me alone. i even had a pituitary tumor removed and sent home med free!! it was when i went to a migraine spealist and was dx with chronic daily migraines / ice-pick and cluster migraines that i got support. i would be in so much pain i would sit in the dark and vomit and lost my vision for a min and passed out that scared my family. i thank god i found my spealist my hubby understands and supports me. i do have fewer migraines and all the support i need now. dame_wilbur im sorry your dad doesent understand. i do know how that feels and i have tryed to hide my pain to be left alone.
Helpful - 0
910419 tn?1289483727
I'm really lucky with my mom and sister. Mom lets me live with her, even tho I'm 21, and she takes me to all of my appointments because I can't drive. She's open to trying new things if I think that it will help my migraines. She also is willing to just be there for me, let me cry on her, or play cards and be distracted by her. My sister no longer lives with us, but she's still a huge help. Last night when I was in the ER for the 3rd time this weekend, she brought us dinner as we'd been there for 6 hours already.

My father, on the other hand, is totally UNsupportive. He asked me once why I wasn't embarrassed by my migraines, which totally blew me out of the water. I had no idea how I could be embarrassed by something that wasn't my fault. He also firmly believes that if I can sit upright and smile, then I'm not in pain, when, in truth, I've had a constant migraine since Sept. '01.

So it's split, but I focus on my mom and sister.
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764912 tn?1322711843
Me too, my husband and son (12yrs old) are wonderful.  My sister too suffers from chronic pain and migraines so she is great, and my brother too, as he has had 3 heart attacks and stroke and is only 47.  So there a just a lot of people who have chronic health issues.

Sometimes though I find it nice to talk with this group on medhelp because it doesn't burden my family and we all really know what the other is feeling.

Marileew is right----as a Mom you should always agree. LOL :)

There are two saying that help me.......1)  Even a tiny dog can pee on a big building.
2) You are just about as happy as you want to be (even though it is very hard sometimes when you are chronically ill, and sometimes we are just down and that is ok)

Most of all I have more trouble with friends understanding.  They want more of me than I can do.

Hugs,
Tracy
Helpful - 0
768044 tn?1294223436
I am very lucky in that my family understands migraines and supports me a lot. My parents let me live with them because of my medical condition even, which is sometimes depressing that I'm an adult and I had to move back in with my parents but it is also amazing that they let me do that and I am really so lucky and I know that. They also go to my neurologist appointments and even my GP appointments with me if I ask them to, but they also let me go alone if I say that is what I want because I am 26 after all... so, they are just supportive when I ask for it and need it.

And, my aunts and uncles and living grandparents and even some of my cousins always ask about how I am doing when they call because they all know that I struggle with chronic migraines and about all of the doctors I've had to see and medications I've had to try... so they all worry and care.

My little brother (who isn't so little... he is 24) helps me out when I really need it, like he'll take me to the hospital if it is an emergency or something. And apparently he worries about me... my parents tell me that. He sort of makes fun of me, but I know he does it to make the situation lighter and I don't mind... like he'll say "oh are you having a brain storm?" or "is your brain exploding?" or if i walk into the room and my eye is drooping he'll poke me in the stomach and say "whose having a migraine?? you are you are!!!" and i'll say "nooo don't do that i'll throw up!!!" and then he'll stop. but that is sort of how little brothers act. but really he would protect me from anyone who actually hurt me. in fact, he suggested i start this group on medhelp and he asks me about it every day!! so, he is pretty supportive too.... even if he teases me sometimes... oh, like, when i got botox he said "oh you look 10 years younger!!" which is ridiculous because i am 26!! and he kept teasing and said "now you can pick up guys who are 10 years younger too!" and i was just like "what!! that is awful!! and illegal!!! i don't want to pick up teenagers!! no!! i don't want to look like i'm 16 either!! that's not really a compliment at my age!!! are you serious???" and then he started laughing and i knew he was just teasing me. ugggh little brothers. but really, he is actually always making real suggestions when it comes to improving the quality of my life as far as the migraines go like job suggestions and school suggestions and suggestions about networking and connecting with other migraineurs for support and stuff.

I just feel really lucky to have my family and especially my mom. A lot of my family has had their own health problems too so I think that is why they are so empathic and understanding... like my mom has diabetes and she had asthma growing up as a kid when asthma treatment wasn't so great so she knows what it is like growing up with a chronic condition that was hard to manage so she was always really great when I was growing up with headaches... and never made me feel like I was any trouble to her at all even though I do feel like a burden to society and the world even if I never feel like a burden to my family... and my grandpa has had heart attacks and my uncle had a stroke and my cousin just found out she had a chronic medical condition too and my uncle has a chronic medical condition too... actually I guess a lot of people have chronic medical conditions when you think about it, like diabetes and asthma and stuff like that, it's not really that weird, so... I guess I don't feel that weird either... it just hurts having headaches and isn't fun and I guess it's not fun to have any chronic medical condition but it's not weird or anything either. Anyway, my family never makes me feel weird and they're always there to support me and love me and help me if I need it and just remind me to keep trying and hoping because like my mom says "I'm over twice your age and I've had to live with diabetes and asthma my whole life and you would have never told me to give up on life so you would never tell yourself to give up either, would you!!" and I have to agree with my mom, because it would be rude not to agree with her. :)
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