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Avatar universal

2 Miscarriages in a row......I am beyond heartbroken

I am new to this site. I just recently went through my second miscarriage. I am 26 years old & have been married for 4 years. All I want in the whole world is to have a healthy happy baby & now I feel like that will never happen.

I had my first miscarriage September 2008 at 6 weeks. I was so devistated I never thought that would happen to me. I had a lot of support from my family & everyone was telling me how common it is to have a miscarriage on your first pregnancy. None of that made me feel any better. I felt so lonely & sad. I was told by the doctor that I am RH Negative & that I will have to have a Rhogam shot after my miscarriage. I hear it is not very common to have RH Negative blood but that it is not something to worry about, ofcourse I cant help but to worry. I also found out during my ultrasound that I have either a bicournate uterus or a septum on my uterus. I had a test done after my D&C where the doctor inserted a dye in my uterus & took pictures of it to find out if it was bicournate or a septum. Well the test came back that I have a septum on my uterus & according to the doctor he does not belive it caused my miscarriage or that it would cause any further miscarriages. He mentioned there is a surgery that I could have to remove the septum but he did not belive that was necessary & they dont usually recommend it after just 1 miscarriage.

I was so confused & scared after finding out all of this information. I felt a little better that the doctor told me he didnt belive the septum caused my miscarriage but then what did? Well a year laster in November of 2009 I found out I was pregnant. I was excited & nervous at the same time. I told my husband we were not to tell anyone until I was 12 weeks. With my first miscarriage I started bleeding around 6 weeks so everytime I went to the bathroom this time I made sure to see if I saw blood or anything suspicious. I went to my OBGYN the week I found out I was pregnant so they could see if my Beta levels were rising properly. Well they were & I scheduled an 8 week appointment with my doctor. I was starting to get a little less nervous & a little more excited when I  passed the 6 week mark & everything seemed fine. No blood nothing out of the ordinary or nothing like what I previously experienced. I was under a lot of stress at my job at the time. We were told we might be closing & I was scared I would be unemployed with a baby on the way.

So the 8 week appointment came & I again was very nervous. They schedueled me with a midwife instead of a doctor telling me that I have to see all the midwifes & doctors in the practice throughout my entire pregnancy. I was given the H1N1 shot & I had some blood drawn for other tests. The midwife said everything looked good from what she could see but I insisted that I have an ultrasound done to see if I could hear the babys heartbeat. She agreed & I went into the ultrasound room & the same sonographer from last year started doing my ultrasound. She couldnt see anything with the doppler ultrasound so she had to do a transvaginal. Well I kept asking her nervously, is there a heartbeat? Is everything OK? I cant even begin to explain my emotions when she said, I'm sorry...no heartbeat. They baby was 6 weeks size. I was beyond devistated! I thought I was in a nightmare & I wanted to wake up right away! I went home & stayed in bed for 4 days. I was so angry. I felt cheated I felt like someone stole something from me! I had a D&C done just this past Monday. I feel so depressed, angry, uncertain. I want a baby so badley it is the only thing I want in this world & now I feel like it will never happen. I know my family is just trying to help they keep saying well at least you know you can get pregnant or you will see you will have a baby. I cant help but to think that day will never come. I feel like I will never be the same again. I feel like there really is something wrong with me. My husband wants a baby just as bad as I do & I feel like I have taken that away from him as well.

I guess what I am looking for is any inspirational stories from anyone who has gone through a similar situation. I feel like I will never be the same again. I cant sleep at night & all this is all I think about. I hope one day I am blessed with a happy healthy baby.
12 Responses
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Avatar universal
I am so sorry for your loss! I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago, that was my first pregnancy, I can't imagine how you must feel going through all that for a second time. I hope you feel better soon. xx
Helpful - 0
1128483 tn?1277340286
I'm so sorry for your losses :(  I know how hard it can be, I had my first miscarriage a week and a half ago.  It was my second pregnancy, and a missed miscarriage, the baby was not developing for 5 weeks, yet my body was still "growing".  

I wanted to let you know something about being RH negative.  I'm RH negative as well, and immediate I wondered if that's why I miscarried, but since it was in the first trimester it wasn't an issue.  If you are rh sensitization (Not everyone who is RH negative is RH sensitized, you get sensitized by comming in contact with positive blood and not having the Rhogam shot).  But, anyway, if for some reason you got RH Sensitized then it would only cause issues in the second and third trimester.  That's just what I read online, I plan to discuss it with my dr on my follow up apt on the 28th and see if I should be tested.  

Do you know if they've done any tests to see what caused the miscarriage?  I've heard some dr's test on either the second or third miscarriage.

You're only 26 years old, and have gotten pregnant twice, your time will come!  Most miscarriages aren't something that can be prevented, and most happen by or around week 6.  Just remember that it wasn't anything you did, I hope you start to feel better soon!
Helpful - 0
1052287 tn?1275540361
Well.. I do not have any of your problems.. of blood type and septum,
But my mother does.. both your problems..
I was her firstborn.. and before that the doctors told her she wasnt going to be able to have babies because of a septum she had.. and then she went on to have 4 children.. she is also A negative blood type.. and we are all positive.. and all she had to do was get the shots.. but there was no problem there either.. and this was 30 yrs ago..
So.. i think you wont have any trouble there.
I had a miscarriage 2 months ago.. at 13 weeks.. and before that a chemical pregnancy (5 weeks), So i was going crazy thinking that i had something wrong..
what did give me alot of peace was a blood test called kariotype.. it checks your chromosomes to see if you have any abnormality (translocation) and if you do you might be at risk of chromosome problems with the baby..leading to recurrent miscarriages.. anyways i got the tests and everything came back normal.. which confirms what my doctor told me.. IT WAS JUST BAD LUCK!!
Anyways.. if there is a problem... there are solutions.. for these problems there are people getting in vitro procedures called PGD, where they check each embryo to see if its healthy or no before they implant it (without chromosomal problems that lead to death of the embryo in utero)

So.. i hope this helps..
So.. dont worry.. miscarriages are pretty common.. i heard that 60% of pregnancies are miscarried..  so.. its a pretty big percentage.. i dont think it has anything to do with you.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I understand your pain, I just miscarried 3 days ago and the pain in my heart is beyond words.  I can't even imagine going through it twice however I'm afraid to concieve again.  My BF's sister-in-law has had two miscarriages and I'm starting to question if something is wrong with my BF and his brother.  As a nurse maybe I'm over-analyzing, but I can't help to question.  I'm very sorry for your loss and know that there are people there for you
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
cocacolapanda: I had the Rhogam shot both times that I miscarried but I will still make sure to check with my Dr on my visit next week to see if I can be tested for RH Sensitization. Thank you for your encouraging words!

MARIS78: That is such a great story to hear about your mom! My mom keeps reminding me that there are major advances in the medical field these days & she says thats what the doctors & hospitals are for to take care of us. I really hope she is right & I really hope the day comes that I have the baby I have been wishing for.

Thank you all for your kinds words of inspiration & I hope I am blessed with a baby one day! I wish you all the best of luck as well! I guess all we can do is pray & stay positive!
Helpful - 0
1134781 tn?1274412982
I had a missed miscarriage this past July! I went for an u/s at 7 weeks 5 days and the baby only measured 6 weeks 1 day and there was no heartbeat so I went back the following week for a second u/s and the baby had not grown and then the next week they took blood to check my hcg levels as a last resort and when it was dropping they scheduled me for a D & C! I had my D & C on August 21st and then after having one regular menstrual cycle my husband and I tried again around October 17th and now I am 10 weeks pregant! I went for an u/s at 7 weeks 5 days and the baby measured 7 weeks 6 days and had a heart beat that was 162 bpm!! Now that I haven't been to the doctor for 2 1/2 weeks I worry constantly because I have had very few symtoms: slight nausea, headaches, slightly sore boobs, visible veins appearing on stomach and boobs, some constipation, very tired (but thats normal for me), and some heartburn. I worry because all my symptoms have been very mild and honestly my boobs aren't very sore right now and aren't nearly as enlarged as they were with my first pregnancy. My sense of smell isn't at all sensitive, no vomiting, and no cravings or aversions. I go back on December 23rd but have considered calling and going in but I don't want to sound crazy! With our first pregnancy we told everyone and then it was very difficult when we lost it so with this one no one knows but us and we pray we find out everything is fine on the 23rd so I will be 12 weeks and we will tell family around Christmas!
But anyway I'm very sorry to anyone who has had a miscarriage it was so hard on my husband and I as well as our families! But the way I try to look at it is atleast I know everyhting is "working" and we can all get pregnant! I have two friends who had miscarriages and got pregnant within months and had beautiful healthy babies!
Helpful - 0
547512 tn?1273245025
I am very sorry for everybody loses. I had three early miscarriages since last year and for me its the most heartbreaking feeling for any couple, specially woman. I had test done and everything came back normal. I am pregnant with a baby boy, 22 weeks, and so far so good and keep praying for that. I just want to give some hope to everybody, and there is so many cases in this forum of woman with multiple miscarriages and sucesfull pregnancies. Please have hope because this is what keep us strong to make everything worth at the end. take care susi
Helpful - 0
924332 tn?1284573918
I am so very sorry for your losses. I know is hard to go thru a miscarriage. But i must tell you that it happens more often than we would think. Do not think anything is wrong with you because you had a miscarriage. I had one too and even though after I miscarried after asking lots of questions and researching. I did find out that it happens and reason bieng is your body is like a computer and as every day, week passes and your pregnancy progresses your body start crossing of on a check list to make sure everything is developing as it should and if something is missing or not right that is when a miscarriage occurs. Heartbreaking for us. I'd like to give you hope and tell you that im currently 12wks pregnant this time and so far everything is progressing well. I wish you all the best and much luck and SSBD!!!

Rossie
Helpful - 0
1137995 tn?1318897956
I am so sorry for your loss, I had a miscarriage last year on New Years Eve. I am still grieving. My husband and I have been trying since then. I will keep you in my prayers. Don't ever give up hope. I believe that you will have your healthy baby in due time....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So sorry to hear what happend, I lost a baby girl at 16 weeks and had a D&E as baby was to big for a D&C. We are trying again. Its not easy I know, when I lost my baby I was mad and everyone and everything. I felt fine I couldnt understand why? The tests come back all normal. I con only tell you that with time it does get easier to deal with, and the pain becomes less. I hope and wish you well, I wish I had more to comfort you with, time really helps and heals
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know how you are feeling Hun I'm going through my third miscarriage right now. I have had scans and they have said there is nothing wrong with my ovaries and I have plenty of eggs up there. So I'm wondering why I can conceive but can't hold the baby for long. My first miscarriage I was 5 weeks and my second at 6 weeks this time between 5 n 6. Does anyone have any idea why I keep miscarrying? I'm only 25 n me and my fiancé really want a baby bit the doctors don't seem to know anything!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Same thing happened to me. I thought i would be depressed forever. I have a healthy son now though:) Ask the dr. to run some tests to find out why you are miscarrying. If he insists you wait until after a third miscarriage, go to a different doctor!! You deserve answers! I am confident you will one day have a very special baby :)
Helpful - 0
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