Ash of lovely Baby Aidan

[hotmama78]

I've post in other also but I just need more advised of what to do.. so I did the nice funeral for my still birth baby Aidan and now I've his ash with me. I not ready to let him go at any lake or sea or any beach yet... I've an altar table in my residence where I plan to place baby Aidan so that we can be close most of the time but I welcome idea from all of you... should I do that or place him at any temple or church??? I feel hard to place my baby far from me :(( kindly advised... thanks in advance...

[ku111]

I became a L&D RN when I had my first child at 28 weeks.  Before I was married and had children, I used to say this is what I would do and not do.  Was I wrong.  When I had my first child, it was the deepest thing I had ever felt in my life.  Very hard to even explain the feeling.  I think your friends mean well but they probably really don't understand and only think they do.  I have no idea what it is to lose a child but I have come close when my 17 yr old son called me and told me he was in an accident, needed me, and then the phone went dead.  I also almost felt this when he was born.  The accident was a bad one.  I couldn't close my eyes for weeks without re-living what I saw at that accident.  I can only imagine if it really had happened to me.  My heart absolutely breaks for you and your loss.  I have learned so much over the years and I have tried to pass on what I have learned to others.  I remember the feeling and have sat many days with woman who have lost their babies.  It hurts everytime.  Your experience will help so many other people in time.  You can become their support just as we are your rock.  You do whatever you want with Aidan, when you want.  You do not need to explain to anyone.  Many of my patients get a stuffed animal or angel and get the ashes put in at the heart.  They will keep those forever.  I am here for you!  ((hugs))

[hotmama78]

Hey ladies...

Thanks a lot... yeahh... that's exactly what i want to do.. when some of my friend's who not understand was telling me its really not good to keep the ash in the house...!! when i ask why??? they say i must willing to let go.. and keep it like that its make my Aidan's soul facing hardest time to leaving... i am truly not understand where is the conversation lead to but i not care at all.. i cannot be part from my baby and no one can ever understand this unless they been thru it... what more my friend who not even married yet... yet not a mother...!!!

[Ecologic]

Follow your heart and keep his ashes in your house next to you! In time you may want to spread them somewhere but you are not ready for that yet.

I hope you can heal a little bit with time!

[mama1981]

So sorry for your loss hotmomma78 :-(
I know exactly how you feel as I have suffered a miscarriage at 22 weeks and it has just been awful...

I too had a funeral for my daughter and her ashes are still with me.  You must do what you feel most comfortable with right now.  I could not scatter Angel's ashes yet so she is home with me...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...

marline

[trying43]

Do what makes you feel best.  If you feel better with your baby near you then you should do that. I am sorry for your loss.