Chemical Pregnancy?

[womanofgrace]

I have heard that 70 percent of pregnancies end with a chemical pregnancy. Has anyone here experienced a chemical pregnancy?  I just had one this weekend after ttc for over a year. If so, what is the best way to deal with the loss that is felt? How do you deal with a spouse who refuses to accept your loss of hope as a real pregnancy loss?

[womanofgrace]

Thanks for your responses. This is my 3rd chemical pregnancy. I've had two others... the first one was my hardest. After that, dh told me to wait till after my missed cycle to test. So... I did... both this time, and the last time I had a chemical pregnancy. The problem with that, is that i'm very sensitive to pregnancy, apparently, and both times I've had all the early symptoms of pregnancy - including nausea, and a late cycle. I tested, both times after the late cycle, and as expected got a negative. Had I tested early, I am very sure it would have read positive. Dh thinks that it's all in my head, cause I didn't test early enough to catch a positive, and used tests that were not as sensitive, to try and advoid the heartache of loss. I've tried explaining it to him hundreds of times... that my body thought I was pregnant because of the chemicals involved, and for the three days I was late, I felt pregnant - to the point where just before my cycle hit, I was sure if I just waited a week, or used a stronger test, it would have been positive. Of course, It wasn't positive - and I am not pregnant anymore.... but the feelings of loss are still there, and still valid... but I don't have hubby's support like I did with the first loss, because I took his advise and waited to test, despite my body telling me I was pregnant. Now he's upset at me,  and I am having a hard time explaining my feelings to him. I feel a huge rift between us because of this... and i'm scared, cause I've already lost three babies in chemical pregnancies... I don't want to loose my husband too.

[dancemom85]

Yes, I had one last cycle. I am so sorry for what you are going through! Remind him that this was indeed a "real" pregnancy, like the previous reply says, it was a fertilized egg it just didn't implant fully or correctly.  Let yourself grieve, let yourself cry- it's good to let your feelings out. Definitely find other women who have gone through the same thing to talk to! Good luck in the future!! :)

[MableMouse]

I'm sorry for your loss. I haven't had a chemical pregnancy, just a pretty ordinary miscarriage. I can't imagine having this happen after a year of trying.. I'm a bit confused, Your spouse doesn't see this loss as valid? Is that what your saying? I know that when you have a chemical pregnancy the egg does become fertilized (At that moment everything about the baby to be has been decided, eye colour, hair colour (Curly, straight), Gender, everything) So I have no idea why your partner wouldn't be feeling the loss.. But the way I tried to deal with my miscarriage was to make a memorial book. And too speak with women who have been threw similar experiences. If you ever wanna chat with me, feel free.