First period after D&E at 19 weeks

[suzanna40]

I have started my period after my D&E a month ago I don't know how to handle it.  I am still so sad, hurt and distressed about losing my little boy at 19 weeks.  I cannot reconcile my decision and feel full of regret and remorse. All I want is to be pregnant still, but with every day things seems to be getting harder.  I am so confused and don't know what to do I really want to be pregnant again, but I'm wondering if it is too soon?  Any advice would be gratefully received - many thanks.

[TINKRUS88]

hey hun i didnt wait my miscarraige was twins about 4 months along
in july i got on the shot and use condoms and got pregnant again (just found out) so hold your head up and smile everything will work out for you in the end

[suzanna40]

Thank you all for your responses, I am so sorry for your losses and at such a difficult time I have found some comfort in knowing that there are other women out there who do understand what I am going through - although I wish we all didn't have to go through this.  

I have found that when I am alone scenarios of 'what if' keep playing over and over in my mind, but I am trying to change this as I don't think it helps.  I will be 40 next year and I'm wondering if this was my only chance, everything seemed to be too much at the time, my relationship (with my childhood sweetheart) was only a few months old, I still hadn't sorted everything out with my ex (of 16 years not married though) as well the pregnancy itself being an 'unhappy' experience at the time (constantly in and out of hospital).  I thought that at 39 I would have my life sorted, but seem to be more confused and lost than ever.  I do shout and cry when I need to, think about how far along I would be now, however I now feel that this is something I need to go through so that if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again nothing will be able to get in the way.  Its such a horrible, sad time, but I think we should all just be the way we need to be for now and at some point, when we feel its right, we will tell ourselves its time, no-one else can.  I just wish I knew then what I know now.  Thank you again so much for bringing some rays of hope at a sad time x

[shannic]

I am sorry for your losses.I miscarried sept 4 and just got my period yesterday.I cried all day and still want to cry today all i keep thinking is I should be 5 months right now.ITs hard i know I was 16 weeks when i lost my baby.My bf tries to be understanding but he really doesnt know.All I can say is it will get easier over time and if you want to scream and cry then do it no one has any right to tell you how you should be feeling or that you should be over it.grieve for as long as you have to.

[smr08]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was almost 5 months when I lost my beautiful baby boy, it was the hardest thing I ever had to face in all of my 42 yrs. I had every emotion running wild in my head I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs(which I did). No one had the right words, so I won't even go there. The pain and heartache will always be there, but over time you'll be able to get a hold on it. The 1 yr anniversary of my son's angel birth is on the 17th and the pain in my heart is just as strong today as it was on that day. I remember my first AF after my delivery, I sat in the bathroom and just cried for what seemed like hours, to me it was like confirmation that it was over. I have been TTC since Dec. right after getting the ok from my Dr. Have you had a follow-up since your d&e? My best advice is to make sure that your also healed mentally before moving ahead, give yourself time to grieve for your son. If there is anything I can do to help you through this, even if it is just lending an ear , feel free to PM me.........Lori

[annaleesmom]

I naturally miscarried last week.  I was 13 weeks and I feel the same way.  I desperately want to have a baby now!!!  This feeling intensified since my miscarriage.  At the same time I feel bad because I shouldn't be "replacing" a new child with my loss.  I'm not coping very well.  crying constantly.  I feel like noone understands (the people around me).  I don't understand how everyone can just easily go on with things when this happened.  shouldn't they feel heartbroken too?

I can't begin to imagine how you must feel having been even further along in your pregnancy.  I wish I had some words of wisdom.  I hate people telling me it will get better.  I don't feel that it will.  I won't tell you it will be better, or you will get another chance because I know how that makes me feel.  Everything I do I feel like I should be pregnant doing it.  I'm so mad at everyone!!!!