Just had a D&C one day before Christmas

[Lis]

I just had a d&c this afternoon and can't understand why we must go through this as apart of our life. I cried two days before i was certain that I was having a miscarriage. Deep down inside i had this really bad feeling and i was right about what was going on. I had the worst pain I've ever experienced lastnight before the surgery. I was up for 5 hrs in pain and couldn't go to the hospital becasue they said the wait time was at least 9 hrs. I'm so depressed but don't want to show it because i don't want my fiancee to worry about me. I don't know how I'm going to be tomorrow since i have to see the whole family for dinner. This is the worst Christmas gift anyone could get. Does anyone know when we can start trying again? Not sure if we want to any time soon but would be nice to know. Thanks for listening.

[scaredandconfusedcarib]

I fully understand what you are going through.  I recently had a d/c the day before Thanksgiving.  I am now learning how to cope with seeing babies or pregnant women without feeling angry with myself wondering what more could I have done to have prevented it.  What was even more hurtful was that most of my siblings (three out of four) either just had a baby, the youngest one month ; or is expecting a baby any day now.    I am still in the healing process (emotionally, that is) and I will say, it does eventually get easier to come to terms with what happened.  I still have my sad moments, but time heals all wounds.  I wish you and your fiance well.  

[ArmyPrincess819]

No need to thank me. I just wanted to reach out to you and let you know that I understand and just wanted to assure you that in time you will feel better. It's a process but it happens. Best wishes to you!

Hugs,
AP

[Lis]

I'm sorry for what you had to go through and we need each other because its women like us that actually understand what we are going through. It really hurts my heart to see a baby or a pregnant women or even watch televison cuz no matter where you are or what you do it's always around you. Thank you for sharing and not only should i take care of myself do the same and hopefully we'll all be fine in due time.

[ArmyPrincess819]

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm not sure why we go through some things in life that we do but there is a reason for everything and somehow we always find out why. I have had 6 m/cs and I had a d and c at 19 weeks. I try not to talk about it much but it was brutal and painful. I blocked it out. Only over the past few months have I been able to talk about it. I have been in your shoes so desperate to reach out to others that have been there and in such dispair feeling as though I'm being punished. You are not there are a million reasons why women have a m/c. I know right now your comfort seems like and eternity away but it's not. With everyday that goes by a piece of you gets put back together. The brutality of hearing a baby cry or seeing a pg women subsides and finally your pain will turn into a smile. I promise you that. You are a strong woman know that and you will have peace and closure. For now it's all new so you need to take care of you and get your health back a 100 %.  Just try to rest and sleep and stay hydrated. Take your time and do things at your own pace. I wish you a speedy recovery. Take care and best wishes to you. If you need to talk I'm here! Best wishes to you....

AP

[hazleyez]

I am so sorry for your loss I know it is a horrible thing to go through. I had a m/c in Spet 2006 and I was suppose to be 12-13 weeks and only measured 8w3d with no hb....so I had to have d&c and it was so painful for me I was angry with anyone and everyone who was pregnant and who kept asking me are you ok .I know they were just trying to comfort me and all but I was really upset.. and the was my first pregnancy so I was horrified and I started TTC around 6 weeks after d&c and my Doc. post check up said I healed up from teh d&c...and I tried and I didnt get Pg again until 6  months later.. the weird thing was.. I got Pg on the due date of my m/c... I was due Mar26.07.... and now I have a beatutiful Princess who just turned 1 yrs old..and then I just had another m/c on Nov16.08 and currently waiting on AF (or maybe a BFP) for new year!! so hopefully I helped you a little with whats happened with me..

p.s. I would suggest you n ur fiance to talk things out b.c I kept everything in and me n my hubby had a BIG fight over my m/c and some other things they kept getting me mad and we ended up getting seperated (i think mostly my fault but he didnt help any.) lol. but we worked things out and we have a beautiful baby girl...if you need someone to talk to just email me or leave a note I`m here for you...  BIG HUGS TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ninawah]

Sorry for your loss. I lost my baby october 20. i was so hard and what it is making it harder is my inlaws1 everytime they see me since, they ask when are you going to have a baby. it is so frustrating. and today is Chrsitmas day and I had IT! that's it I can't take it anymore from her she s really hurting my feelings and it seems she does not now it
I don't know how to answer her and what to do. the thing is I have already have a beautiful angel toddler boy!

[tomlinson0923]

I am so glad you were able to talk with your fiance. I know it was tough, I was pregnant before, and I miscarried, but I had no one to talk to, my husband and I had split up, and I didn't tell my parents about it because i know they would have freaked, my husband was a very bad guy and they would not have wanted me to keep it. I was 24 weeks along. It was really hard. I know that keeping it all inside would really kill you. I know it did me. I am really glad you guys talked. I am finally moved on from my husband and I am engaged to a wonderful man. We have been trying for over a year to get pregnant, and I really thought that I was finally pregnant, and I started getting really bad cramps and large blood clots on monday, I am still bleeding really bad and cramping like crazy, I know I probably miscarried again, and it kills me, I know that talking helps because that is all that my fiance and I have been doing the last 2 days. I havent told anyone, not any of his family either, and I felt like I was going to die at christmas tonight, His aunt just had a baby, she was there with him, he was not even a week old yet and he was just perfect. I started crying and excused myself right away, but it was killing me. Luckly no one noticed. My fiance did tell me on the way home though that his granny asked when we would be having little ones. The time just was not right I guess. I know I will someday, but it kills me waiting. Just remember to keep being honest with your fiance, it helps. My fiance and I wish you all our love and prayers. We will be thinking of you during the rest of the holidays.

[tarrah87]

so sorry for your loss i know exactly how you feel i was pregnant with twin boys went into labor 3 days b4 my 21st birthday and they were only 21 wks. both boys died, one still born the other an hour later, that was the worst b-day i have ever had but wait at least 3 months is recommended by doctors but i'd make sure give yourself time to heal emotionally and physically. keep your head up and don't give up.

[Lis]

honestly this has been really difficult because it is around the hoilday season but everyone has given me so much advice that it's getting a little bit easier if that's the correct word to use. I know a lot of women have gone through this and I want to send out my regards to all the females that had to deal with this because i know first hand that it is not easy to deal with. I spoke to my Fiancee about how i was feeling like a lot of you ladies have suggested and it has kind of helped both of us. We both broke down but it helped... last night was very tough for the both of us, but like everyone has told me we will find a way to get through this one way or another. So thank you to all the ladies who were nice enough to give me advice on this topic and i will keep everyone posted on how we are doing. Best of wishes to everyone.

[peterjl]

I am so sorry for your loss!  Last year on Dec 13 I lost my baby.  I was 16 weeks.  I was able to deliver the baby and hold him prior to having a D & C, so it really gave me time to see the baby.  He was perfect and we never knew why he died.  It has been a year and I still have a lot of emotional issues over it.  It was so hard losing the baby so close to Christmas.  I also ended up getting an infection as well, so the whole thing was horrible.  Give yourself time to heal after the loss- the emotions take a long time to get better.  We have been ttc for 9 months now and no luck- so I also am upset over that.  Hopefully your family will be understanding for Christmas and crying is okay.  Good luck with your healing!

[nunu1977]

I am so sorry that you went through this. its hard at anytime but at Christmas I cant imagine how you are feeling!
most drs tell you to wait 2-3 cycles before TTC again after having a D&C. hopefully you will get on track with your cycle fast and get AF in a months time. you wont ovulate until hCG levels are back to 0. the faster your cycle starts up the easier it will be for you to move on. I now that sounds weird to say only a day after all this has happened but believe me, getting AF for the first time is the best feeling because then you know you are on track to TTC again.  
I hope that out of all this you can still try and enjoy your family and friends over this Holiday Season!

[Lis]

I was 14wks and 4days pregnant. but like you put it maybe it wasn't my time and all though i still don't understand right now i hope it will make sense to me later on in life. I don't wish this kind of pain on anyone else because this isn't a easy thing to go through but if anyone has any questions i would like give them advise on this topic if they have any questions. there are never stupided questions, the only stupid thing to do is not ask.
And i will try to talkt to my fiancee about how im feeling and hopefully it will make it easier and i won't stress so much. Thanks again keep in touch.

[tomlinson0923]

I almost forgot to tell you but wanted you to know that why you may not understand right now why you are going through this, there is a purpose for it. It may be years before you understand why, you may never understand why, but someday you will be able to look back and maybe even help someone through the same things you are going through. I know this really may not be what you want to hear, but I think you should keep this in the back of your mind. It will help when dealing with it.

[tomlinson0923]

I know alot of doctors say that you should wait 6 months before seriously trying again but I know that they say that due to your emotional health. How far along were you? that is really a big thing in deciding how long you should wait. I am so sorry for your loss I know what it is like to feel so upset and so vulnerable. Be open with your fiance, he is probably going through just as much pain as you are and is trying to be brave for you. You need to lean on each other right now. If you hold things in it will stress you and just make it that much harder for you to concieve again. I know all of this advise is just that, I also know that it is easier said then done. Again I am so sorry.