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Miscarriage

I had my second appointment today with my OB and when they did the ultra sound they didn't hear a heartbeat and said that it was measuring at only eight weeks even though I'm supposed to be eleven almost twelve weeks, they said my baby had been dead since I was nine weeks, I haven't even bled. I have been carying my dead baby for almost three weeks and it's still in there. I don't know how to deal with all of it, I'm heartbroken. My husband is crushed as well and I don't know how to be there for him and comfort him when I can't do any of that myself. I don't know how to cope, we had been trying for close to a year before we got this baby and now its gone because I didn't eat enough and I stopped taking my prenatal, I didn't give it enough nutrients, I was losing weight not gaining it...
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Avatar universal
I'm sorry to hear, i too had a m/c Feb 2014 at 6/7 weeks.  I waited a year to try b/c i wanted to give it time to heal and i went to see herbalist to get raw herbs to nourish my body and clean out all the old blood (I was on the herbs on Dec 2014 to Jan 2015) i got pregnant just with one tried in Feb 2015.  I'm now 33 weeks pregnant.

It has nothing to do with not eating much or prenatal vitamins.  In the old days there weren't any prenatal.  I wasn't eating well during my first three or four months and i'm 33 weeks now.  My co-worker couldn't eat or drink water for her whole 7 months and her baby was born healthy.  My dr. said you don't need to eat a whole lot to feed the baby.  

Try think positive - at least you don't have to bury your baby.  My friend just recently had to terminate her baby at 21 weeks due to Edward Syndromes.  Take care of your body first.  You will soon have a successful pregnancy.  
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Avatar universal
Thank you everyone... Your words are a comfort.
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Avatar universal
Ive gone thru the same as you i didnt Find out till i was 26 weeks that she had been gone for 2 weeks ' its hard espcially knowing they had been in there but u have to be strong.  Its hard but God has his reasons . nothing can really stop those things dont blame yourself he will bless you again i promise ... I am now 39 weeks and 4 days with my son . and even though we will NEVER forget the ones weve lost we will continue to live with them in our memories !
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13167 tn?1327194124
I don't know exactly why it's good,  Kay - but that's what my OB told me when I carried a deceased embryo for several weeks.  Apparently it's proof that your body is prepared to hold and keep a growing embryo.

If you can,  he also suggested waiting to miscarry naturally rather than having a D&C since it's much easier on your body and doesn't cause loss of uterine lining.  And then you never have this nagging doubt,  like you might with a D&C,  that maybe by some miracle the baby was actually okay the whole time.

This is hard.  You'll find as you go through this that a LOT of women will be there for you,  who have also gone through this.  
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15354850 tn?1440716033
Don't blame yourself sweetie, I'm the type of person that says everything happens for a reason, maybe the baby was gonna come sick or something, give it a couple of months, and then try again
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Avatar universal
How is it good that it's still in there?
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13167 tn?1327194124
Don't blame yourself.  There's almost nothing you can do to accidentally cause an early miscarriage if the baby is healthy and attached well in the beginning.

Since it took you so long to get pregnant,  and now you've lost the baby early,  is your doctor going to offer you any tests to determine what is going wrong?

Prayers for peace. I had two early miscarriages,   and it's a good sign that your body is hanging on to the sac.  Your body is geared up to be pregnant,  and is hanging on.

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Avatar universal
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my first at 8 weeks and carried until 13 weeks, so I understand. Please know that it was not anything you did or didn't do. Sometimes something goes wrong or doesn't develop correctly and our bodies just have to stop everything. I promise it will get easier to handle the pain of your loss. Sending you and your husband lots of strength and love.
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Avatar universal
I'm so sorry.  There is no way to know for sure what causes miscarriage, but it's unlikely you did anything to cause it. Your baby would have taken what it needed from your body whether you were eating enough or not.  Don't blame yourself.  :-(
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Avatar universal
Do not blame yourself dear. Sometimes things happen, there's really no fault.. I'm so sorry for your loss, it breaks my heart that there are women out there getting pregnant and aborting then women like you who just want a child so bad, but lose them.. Its not your fault. Please don't feel that way.
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