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1511959 tn?1298280013

Miscarriage

On November 8, 2010 I suffered my 2nd miscarriage:
I started spotting on November 3rd, It was scant bleeding (barely any bleeding and brown blood). After searching online for answers (terrified for the worst) and talking to friends, I felt confident, thought it was OK because a lot of women bleed and still have healthy babies. 5 days later I woke up with a lot of pain (cramps X10) and a very heavy flow of bleeding accompanied by clots so I called my doctor and was instructed to go to the hospital. Needless to say, it was confirmed I was in the middle of losing my baby. It was estimated that I lost my baby at 6 weeks although I was 11 weeks into my pregnancy. This has been really though as I'm sure a lot of women can relate and only we understand how hopeless we can feel no matter what people say. Friends and family and most of all my husband has been a lot of support and I really am trying to ease through my grieving process again. So now I'm trying to recover, trying to put it behind me but the fact that I'm STILL bleeding really doesn't help at all. Since my miscarriage I have been bleeding for 1 week and 4 days. I insisted on skipping the D&C when I was at the hospital from the fear of scarring and just minimizing my chances in the future, that's just me and considering I didn't need it when I miscarried before, I felt like I didn't need it now. So far my hcg levels have been going down, pain has stopped but blood is still there. I have an appointment tomorrow as a follow up with my doctor and I will request a ultra sound to insure everything has passed, I just hope I will not need a D&C and that the bleeding will stop soon. It feels like this is a never ending process both emotionally and physically and to top it off my biggest fear is not being able to have a baby at all. Has anyone bleed for this long? and what did your doctors say? I wonder how many women have gone through the same but still had a healthy baby in the future.
31 Responses
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1666434 tn?1325262350
I got my menstrual cycle back within a month.  I did keep some pregnancy tests close at hand to make sure my levels went completely down so I knew it was coming.  There is always a possibility of becoming pregnant but there is also a possibility of your period just being a little late.  You could always test to be on the safe side or just to find out.  Keep us updated :D
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Avatar universal
I had a miscarriage on april 18th. Tomorrow will be a month and I still haven't had a period yet. But I have been a little sick to my stomach at times and my nipples have been tender and kinda had a burning feeling and having to to go the rest room more often then normal. I am already a mother but its been almost 15 yrs since I had my son and this is my first miscarriage. I have had unprotected sex with my husband since a week after my miscarriage. does anyone know how soon after a miscarriage u can get pregnant or how soon you will get your first period?
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1487690 tn?1316760585
Hi, sorry bout your lose. I in 08 had two miscarriagesss. First was 7 weeks of stress and my second was birth defect. The embyro didnt turn in a fetus I lost my first one and bleed for SIX WEEKS. my doc put me on birth control to stop the bleeding took those for two weeksss then I stoped caise I wanted to get pregnant so I waited till I ovulated and I gof pregnant but my second was the worst I was basically carrying a dead bby for 4 weeks miscarried with cramps x1635585 at 14 weeks. Horrible expierence b positive. God bless
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1551840 tn?1331462531
hi, i had a mc on the 29th dec 2010. my husband and i were trying for a while now. i was 6 weeks and 4 days it will be the hardest thing to get over but we are going to have to try because of our little son. thank god we have him he is our rock at the min...    :((
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Avatar universal
Mauriella-
Thank you for your kind words.  It helps to know that I'm not alone. This is truly the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with.  My aunt told me the other day, don't wait just try again.  Unfortunately, i didnt get pregnant the natural way.  i can't just try again right now.  i had to use fertility treatments to get pregnant.  This was my first pregnancy.  I just told her that I have to pay for that.  I have become so blunt lately and im sure my moods have changed.  I feel like trying again will help with these emotions, but just because I have another baby, it won't bring my first one back.  This is something that I am struggling with coping with right now.  

mguges-
I had a D&C and I personally would not try to miscarrie naturally.  I want to try again and with a natural miscarriage it can take weeks to complete and then you might still have to have a d&c.  How far along were you?  The d&c was not bad at all.  I don't remember any of it because of the anesthesia.  i had cramping for a few days and light bleeding for less than two weeks.   It will be two weeks tomorrow for me.  i feel physically fine and I went back to work after having one week off.  I found out the baby passed on the Monday and then had the d&c on the Tuesday. I went back to work the following Monday.  Who cares if society discourages this kind of talk?  if it is important to you, then i say talk about it.  I talk about it now and i think that is what is helping me get through it.  i don't want people to just forget my baby because it never spent anytime here with us.  
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Avatar universal
It just seems so confusing!  What did women do years ago when these options didn't exist?  I had been spotting, and now that there is no heartbeat, I've stopped bleeding.  I was hoping it would happen naturally.  

On another note, in just one day, I've spoken to so so many friends about this.  Many people who have multiple healthy children have had miscarriages.  Many of them are close friends, and it just had never come up because it was before I knew them.  I've actually only found one person who hasn't had a miscarriage, and she only just had her first child.  It gave me hope that I can do this (and will hopefully give you all hope too).  
One friend was pregnant within 3 months of her miscarriage, so hopefully that is a good sign for all.  

I think it is sad that our society discourages us from talking about miscarriages.  The advice and support of my friends and family (and of course my husband and dog too) are keeping me going.
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1511959 tn?1298280013
It This Monday will make it 4 weeks that I have been bleeding (lightly) since miscarriage BUT don't be alarmed everyone is different and might only take you 2 weeks or less. In all honesty I think it might have ended by now but I think I triggered it again when my husband and i thought it was done and had sex. My doctor never gave me any advice not to so we thought it was OK. That, or it's my period as I have been told by someone on this site that I might have ovulated already so this might be my post period as she also ovulated almost right away after her miscarriage and now has a 10 month old. As for the surgery, I advice you to do your research for the D&C in order to make the best decision you can. On my 1st miscarriage I was actually advised to miscarry naturally and D&C would be the last choice in case and I actually stopped bleeding after 2 weeks. Now, I actually had to tell the doctor (different doc.) that i did not want to have the D&C and see if I can miscarry naturally, I was never offered a pill though I have heard of it and heard it *****. So if you decide not to go natural I would highly advice the D&C and not the pill.

p.s. I didn't do the D&C b/c I am afraid of scarring and have heard it can as it is the same procedure that they use with abortions BUT that's just me and now am wondering if I might need it in the end b/c I'm still bleeding.  
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1511959 tn?1298280013
That's a good question, I'm still having trouble coping with my loss for the 2nd time, you almost feel guilty and everything around you reminds you of it. I find it hard to even be around my friends and family who have  a baby but I'm starting to realize that feeling miserable is not helping me but is a process as well. The way you and I feel is completely normal and is actually bringing us a step closer to not forget what happened but forget the pain. Getting the emotional pain out of my system is my goal whether through crying, moment of reflection and then try again. The truth is (and I've heard the same from so many women) you never really let go until you have a baby but we can ease the pain through help. This site has helped me a lot, friends and family support, books and realizing that no one has told me i can't do this, so I'm gonna do what I have to do (prepare my body as much as I can) to 'TRY AGAIN'. So the sooner I accept what happened the sooner I can feel good enough to try again. What you described about seeing your co-worker happy and ppl celebrating her pregnancy, I know it angers you, you feel pain, envy, sorrow and like no one around you truly understands what you feel... I been there once before and I'm there again but it is completely normal and part of the grieving process. You'll be OK just give it time ;)
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1489197 tn?1300974568
Oh ya we are trying again, that's what is keeping me together right now. we just really want one more child. Here is a post from someone that answered my question when i was asking how long to wait after a D&C. My dr also told me to wait at least 1 cycle to let the lining build back up in your uterus. Here is that post.......

Sorry for your loss I also had 2 d&c.

You can get pregnant right away usually with in two weeks of the d&c. Some doctors will tell you to wait 3 periods before ttc again. But in my case I could not let 3 months pass and not try. When you first have the d&c your body will be most fertile for the next few months. So, its kinda good to try right away but then again others will argue not too. I guess it really all depend on your mental status and how u feel about ttc again. I wish you all the luck in the world that you will be able t-c soon and u have a healthy pregnancy. Dont give up hope or loose faith. e already have a 7yr old and she really wants a sibling.
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Avatar universal
Thanks so much for your response.  Are you going to try again?  Do you know how long you have to wait before trying again?  Thinking about trying again is kind of helping keep me going right now...
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1489197 tn?1300974568
I had a D&C ( the surgery they are referring to) and i only had a week of bleeding (lightly) and i feel the surgery is the best way since they get everything out of you all at once and you dont have to take that pill and sit and wait for it all to come out. you will be asleep the whole time and it usuallly takes about 10 min. I sorry for your loss and good luck with whatever you choose to do. BTW I had my D&C on nov 19th. and im fully healed now. emotionally, i'm still not healed, that takes time.
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Avatar universal
Also, one more quick question.  The doctor said I can have a surgery or take a pill to remove the fetus.  I am reading about the four weeks of bleeding, and that scares me to death.  Is the surgery easier?  I certainly don't want to prolong my own misery!
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Avatar universal
I'm not sure where to go right now, but this forum looked like a place where I could get some help.  I went to the doctor this morning, and my baby has no heartbeat.  There had been one earlier.  I go back on Monday morning to make a final decision and check again, but the doctor explained that there is only a very slight chance the heartbeat is still there (and they just couldn't find it this morning).  I know I am having a miscarriage.  All of my pregnancy symptoms are going away.  I'm devastated.  I just need to hear some words of encouragement from others who have experienced this.  I know I can try again, and I know that there was a problem with the baby (or this wouldn't have happened), but I'm still very, very sad.  This was my first pregnancy, and I'm 35.
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1489197 tn?1300974568
I also found out from my dr that you are at your most fertile after a MC. If you take a preg test and if it comes up neg, means that your HCG levels are back to normal or close to it and your body will start to ovulate soon. My sister had a m/c and got preg 2 weeks after and went on to have a healthy baby girl. So everyone is different, every "body" is different as well. Also it helps to have your friends/family around you to help you get through this. By no means can you do it alone>>>good luck to you :)
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Avatar universal
I am really struggling right now.  How do you continue your life as if everything is ok.  Im not okay.  i feel like a part of me died.  i was having such a good morning and then i just lost it.  i was at work and there is another woman who is pregnant.  Well another co-worker started to make fun of her waddle.  i dont feel like this is something to make fun of, especially when im in the room.  i just lost my baby.  i never got to have the waddle.  not that i was looking forward to it, but it is something that pregnancy brings.  i just cant bare to keep going as if im okay.  when im at work everyone is so concerned and ask me if im ok.  the words naturally come out that im fine. Well im not fine.  My baby died.  What has everyone done to try to move on?
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1511959 tn?1298280013
Oh ok... thank u so much b/c for some reason every times I asked the doctors all they can tell me is "a few weeks" it always left me wondering. OK well I'm on my 3rd week tomorrow so hopefully it'll be over soon!
My prayers are with you and I hope we can all over come this.
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Avatar universal
I officially miscarried on the 23rd and our baby was confirmed dead on the 22nd.  I am still bleeding light, but my doctor said the bleeding can linger for around 4 weeks.  your mensuration wont start for about 8 weeks after miscarriage.  We go back on December 21st for our next appointment.  
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1511959 tn?1298280013
I have officially miscarried on November 8th, it is now the 28th (2 weeks and 6 days) and i'm still bleeding!!!!!!!!!!! the bleeding has definitely gotten lighter, no pain at all, no clotting, at one point it seemed like it went away but then came back the next day!! I don't know if it's my menstruation or not and I don't have a doctors appointment till this Thursday. Any advice?  
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Avatar universal
Thanks for your kind words.  It helps to know that someone is going through the same thing and i don't mean that in a mean way for I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy.  I plan to go back to work on Monday and hope this is not to soon.  I don't know when I will be able tro try again, but I also feel this is what I need to do.  I want to go back to the fertility specialist today and get answers, but i know that i have to wait around 4 to 6 cycles before they let me start the medications again.  
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1489197 tn?1300974568
I am so sorrry for your loss. I had a M/C this past Fri. I was 6wks along and started spotting. i just felt like i needed to call my dr. she had put me on modified bedrest about 2 wks earlier due to bleeding. i had a D&C fri as well so tomorrow will be 7 days since i lost my little one. I have alot of anger inside right now. i know its part of the grieving process but not sure when it will end. The only way i will heal, (in my mind) is TTC (try to conceive) again which i wont be able to do for probably after one cycle. I know exactly what you are going through and if you need anyone to talk to, i am here.
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Avatar universal
I am new to this forum so all advice is appreciated.  I had a miscarriage.  This is actually the first time that I have been able to say this, but since it is not out loud it makes it easier.  My husband and I have been trying to conceive since November 2007.  We started fertility treatments in June 2010 and were pregnant by September.  We finally had been blessed with our miracle.  On November 22nd at 3am I woke up in a puddle of blood.  I had been having spotting along my whole pregnancy and almost decided to just wipe up and go back to bed and get ready for work the next morning.  By 6am the bleeding hadn't stopped.  I called my doctor at home and she told me to go to the hospital for an ultrasound.  We went in at 8am.  This is when they confirmed that our baby had passed.  On November 23rd I had a D & C.  My baby was gone.  We had been 10 weeks and 3 days pregnant.  Such a short time, but worth this heartache that I feel now.  There are no many emotions that I feel and not sure how to overcome this.  
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1511959 tn?1298280013
Thank you so much... so glad I found this community. Your kind words are very much appreciated.
Shand78 - I really hope and pray that you have a healthy pregnancy and can bask in overcoming what seems to be a major hurdle in our lives :)
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1317258 tn?1421713625
i am so sorry for you loss. i no how hard it is to go though. When i lost our first baby in May this year i didnt even no i was preggie. But before i found i had been bleeding for 20 days. It would go heavy,light then heavy again. It stoped for 4 days and started again for 7 days. By the time i found out everything had passed. I wen to my Dr afte 11 days of bleeding. He thought it was just a long AF and didnt do much more about it so i just keeped on bleeding. Boy was he wrong.
I do have hope for you.I am 6 weeks 5 days preggie .This so far has been a very stressful time as i'v been spotting on and off for weeks. You will become preggie again. best luck to you xx
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1506342 tn?1305566968
Sorry for your loss, don't give up on hope. I have to mc withing in last few months and thought I just can't do it anymore. Been trying for over a year and that. All the questions,why me! Why it happen! It just does,so many women mc but we don't talk about it. On this website I have opened up and my feeling so much,it has help me deal with it. The amount of support was un real. Any problems u have just write it up,people are always here to help.
Many women on here have had a D&C and still had a baby. One women on here been told she can't have kids and fell, these are amazing stories from real women that have gone through it just like u and me.
I really hope all goes well at doctors and that u fall with a healthy baby soon.

Thoughts are with u. X x x x x
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