Missed Miscarriage- how long to wait to naturally miscarry?

[Lugh00]

I'm waiting on a missed miscarriage.  This is my 2nd missed miscarriage and I had a miscarriage before that as well.  I have 2 healthy children prior to all 3 miscarriages.

My 1st missed miscarriage was complicated.  I started spotting at about 6 1/2 weeks.  I didn't get in for an ultrasound until 7w5d, the found the baby measuring 6w4d with a good heartbeat and small clot behind the placenta.  I was so relieved.  I had gotten pregnant charting my temp and I continued to do so, originally out of curiosity and later out of concern.  I just knew something wasn't right.  I was still bleeding off and on, and with the dates being off by a week.  When I should have been 10weeks my temp plummeted (it was Friday after Thanksgiving) I got in for an ultrasound the following Wednesday.  The baby hadn't grown at all since that 1st ultrasound, no heart beat.  The gave me 3 options, a D&C, cytotec, or wait it out- he gave me 6 weeks, before I would 'need' the D&C.  
I had been seeing a midwife prior to the 2nd ultrasound, she recommending several herbs to speed things along so as not to need the D&C.  I took them as directed.  I literally passed the last of the tissue the day before the Dr called to force me to schedule the D&C.  Technically I believe I carried that baby after it passed away for about 8 weeks.

This time... I went in for my 1st appt (I was seeing a reg OB, not the midwife) at 7w5d.  It once again measured 6 days behind, normal heartbeat.  They put me on progesterone supplements.  A week later, 8w4d, I just felt to normal, as in not pregnant.  I got an ultrasound for that afternoon, once again saw the baby, measuring 8w1d with a good heartbeat!  They told me it was safe to share the news so I did.  I went in 12 days later for the original follow up to the 1st ultrasound, I had sent my husband on his business trip expecting all to be well.  It wasn't.  The baby stopped growing again and no heartbeat, still measured 8w1d when I should have been 10w3d.  This time the Dr was very kind (different Dr), offered the D&C or to wait for a natural miscarriage, which she warned me could take some time.  I'm now what would be 13w4d.  I've bled off an on since 3 days after the last ultrasound.  I'm guessing I lost this one at roughly 9 weeks, so I'm 4 weeks into my waiting for it to happen.

I know what to watch for in case of infection, I'm really worried about passing the baby and tissues as the last one was very easy without the heavy bleeding, and the 1st one was- while not easy, not terribly difficult either, more like your 'textbook' miscarriage.  I'm just impatient but unwilling to have a D&C unless it becomes medically necessary.  I'm wondering how long most women wait to have a missed miscarriage naturally.  So many people seem to get impatient and have the D&C after a few weeks, not that I'm putting that down, just that it's not the info I'm looking for.  It's certainly a woman's choice, it just happens mine is to do it as naturally as possible.

[Peacefulacres]

Little late to the conversation. I have been miscarrying since sept. I have had miscarriages before and assumed this would be similar. I didn’t know at the time that to chose natural meant that i could have such complications. That I’d be bleeding for four months. Twice I bled out to about 50%, it was such a mess in my uterus. The doctors confirmed by ultrasound that indeed the baby was not alive, but my body still thinks I’m pregnant. My placenta won’t die / or release. That and the babies remains have attached to my uterine wall. Subconsciously I just cannot let the baby go. Now the doctors say I will bleed out too much and either lose my uterus or worse since my blood cells count is so low. So I am still waiting. I believe my body has a better chance by itself than the options offered by the specialist. It’s my only hope. I’ll be in with a naturopath this week to explore untapped options.

[happyhealing]

Thank you all so much for caring enough to share your stories.  I am going through my first missed miscarriage and needed answers.  All my doctors want to do is schedule a D&C.  I want to do this naturally if it is possible to do so.  I am not opposed to having the D&C if it is necessary, but it is a last resort for me.  I have birthed 10 babies in my life and I can't imagine passing a pair of beautiful twins half the size of my pinky could be so terrible that I would choose surgery over doing it naturally.  I NEED to pass them and see them to have the closure I need.  Not all women will feel the same, but I do.  I would love some info on herbs to help things along if anyone has that info.  I should be 14 weeks and the babies stopped growing at 8 weeks.  Not sure exactly when they died.  I've known for just over one week that my little ones had no heartbeat and had stopped growing.  I had no idea, btw.  We were shocked to find that there was no heartbeat.  Some contractions, a few cramps, a little spotting, but now nothing.  Thank you again for sharing your stories.  You have helped me tremendously.

[happyhealing]

Update:  I finally went to see my doctor again January 15th.  It had been almost 2 months since finding out our babies were no longer alive.  I allowed my OB to administer Cytotec in her office that afternoon.  I miscarried that evening at home with no complications.  The placenta delivered intact and no pain involved.  I started spotting a couple of days later, but only pantiliners were needed.  Within 5 days I was skiing and back to normal activity.  I am so glad I waited.  It allowed me to deal with the loss mentally before having to deal with it physically.  God is so good and I praise Him for an easy and speedy miscarriage......once it started.  I have no doubt that my body would have miscarried on it's own if I would have waited a bit more.  It was too easy for me to think otherwise.  God Bless.

[ummali]

Thank you for your thorough update. It's helping me cope as I'm 4 weeks into waiting for a natural miscarriage and still no progress. Your story helps me calm a little and be more patient. God bless you.

[RaeAnn311]

Thank you for your posts. I'm 4 weeks into my missed miscarriage, and the waiting is almost worse than the pain. Reading your posts has given me quite an understanding of what I should expect. I really appreciate your detail and insight to write all that in hopes to help people. You wrote it 5 years ago, and it helped me today. Thank you.

[karma_starz]

My baby died at almost 7 weeks. I took some chemical drug mifepristone a week ago, I had slight contractions and bled heavily for the past 6 days. Nothing has passed yet and im worried that chemical meds will not do the trick as i am a 200 plus pound women. I started blue cohosh tincture yesterday, and evening primrose pills inside of me. And so far nothing has happened. I feel like i emotionally cant continue living life like this. It is the worst feeling in the world knowing your body refuses to let go of its creation, even if it puts you at risk of severe infection. Im going to continue taking the herbs and hoping it will pass soon. Do any of you women know any other tips or tricks or things i can do to get it to pass ? Im terrified of a d&c and would like to avoid it if possible. So far im not showing any signs or symptoms of infection.

[ReesesReality]

I am so glad for this thread! I lost my baby at 8 weeks and went four more without knowing. Two more weeks went by and I still hadn't miscarried, but this thread encouraged me to keep waiting.

Even though it was as hard as heck to know I was carrying a dead baby for that long, it was good because I was able to start healing emotionally before I had to heal physically. By the time I went into labor, I had accepted the situation and was able to research what to expect.

Of course, things never go exactly as expected. I went into labor last night. It was strange because it was dry labor, i.e., little to no bleeding before the actual miscarriage. No one else seemed to have that problem, so I'm just special, yay!... freak. Anyway, after about three hours of hard laboring, I collapsed onto the floor, into the yoga position "child's pose" incidentally, and a minute later my water broke. The baby passed soon after, and I felt a little better, but it took another hour and a half to pass the placenta.

This was my first baby, and I'm so glad I did the miscarriage naturally, with my husband present. NO ONE TRY TO DO THIS ALONE!!! He took care of the baby's remains, and held me when I felt faint from loosing so much blood.

I'm so sorry to read everyone's stories - my prayers go out to us all.

[Lynseyb]

I went to hospital yesterday after having a couple of light bleeds to find out that instead of reading 10wks im reading 6wks , I've been told to come back in 10 day to see if any change , but dr thinks there is an abnormality , if I've not miscarried by then .. What happens will I have to have anything done on that day as its my younger sons birthday , such a mess

[vcusell]

ive had 3 miscarriages, the 1st 2 were natural and 3rd one d&c. it was alot less painful with d&c and i only bled very lightly for about 3 days after the surgery. the first 2 were awful i was sent home from the hospital both times to miscarry naturally and the cramps and the blood coming out was soo hard i could see the baby coming out of me falling into the toilet. all three times were just as hard having to go thru knowing your losing your baby but id do a dnc over naturally if i do infact ever miscarry again. thats just my personal opinion. im very sorry for your loss. i know how hard it is and emotionally im still a wreck and its been 5 months since my last miscarriage. were ttc again but this times its takin alot longer than before. all 3 of my miscarriage were within a 9month period. does anyone know if have a dnc takes longer to get pregnant afterward??

[Lindz85]

I'm not sure what your doctor told you about getting pregnant again but...I'm going through a missed miscarriage right now and my doctor told me that we should wait about 6 months to try again as it takes time for our bodies to go back to normal and everything after something like this happens. The less time you wait, the higher risk of having a miscarriage again.
I hope you have better luck next time and don't ever have to go through this terrible experience again.
I can say this is definitely the hardest thing I've had to deal with. It's incredibly devastating and terrible.
Xo

[zyanara]

My goodness... all the stories make me unbelievably sad.. Im so sorry for everyone thats had to go through an experience like this...I had been trying to get pregnant for a year now...  i was told 3 weeks and a half ago that my baby died his size was of 8w/4d. i was devastated, i got another u/s a week later to have peace of mind... same results, so I've now been waiting for 3 weeks and a half since i was told, roughly 4 weeks since it did pass away... the doctor gave me an appointment for D&C which ive had before and it was traumatizing, he didnt give me any other options either... anyways i told her i was not having the D&C and after that she was not very helpful. I've been a nerve wreck since and i'm emotionally worn out, and i'm not sure how safe it is to wait for it to pass naturally as doctors around here do not support the idea, im trying to figure out a reasonable amount of time to wait for it to pass naturally, if not, is there anything i can drink (maybe herbs or something natural) thats not cytotec as ive heard horrible stories about that too, one of them above... I've had no spotting and no other kind of liquids either... so if you can please do help my email adress is ***@**** if anyone prefers to do it privately, but i'm surely needing some adavice... I'd appreciate it sooo much.. Thanks ladies, a hug for all...

[namaste85]

Hi. A way down the track, I hope this isn't any kind of painful reminder, however your posts have helped me so much, I wanted to thank you for sharing and also to share my story in the hope it does the same for someone else.

I am 25, I have a small adhesion/ calcification on the wall of my uterus from a botched termination when I was about 19. Otherwise healthy (other than history of mild bv), with regular 28 day cycles.

LMP was 1st March 2012, positive home pg test 1st April 2012. Initially overwhelmed, although we had been trying (for 1 month only), then overjoyed.

Went for first scan at what should have been 8 weeks and 2 or 3 days, went to gyno who had seen me through problems after termination, as he knew my history. He did and internal scan, using his u/s machine which is not the best/ clearest available. He couldn't detect a heartbeat, gestational sac was 8 weeks size, yolk sac/ foetus showed only 5 weeks 3 days.
He told me the pregnancy was definitely not viable, scheduled me for a D&C 4 days later (offered no other option), although he said to get a second u/s with a better machine 2 days later anyway. I left in pieces, I had not expected anything to be wrong, I had had no bleeding and my pregnancy symptoms were strong and getting stronger by the day.
Booked in for 2nd opinion u/s the next day... couldn't believe it when I saw a heartbeat on the moniter! The sonographers words were "you're not out of the woods yet" as it was still slow growing, even if I had ovulated late, it would still be a weeks growth behind, but they were smiley and positive. I left still apprehensive, but with a very real glimmer of hope as I had little knowledge of early miscarriage and imagined odds dropped significantly after a hb is detected. Booked in for follow up a week later.
The night before follow up I held a launch for my brand. By about 10pm I felt like I had over done it, I was tired, a little light headed, didn't want to talk to anyone and also had a bit of musty smelling clear discharge (which I didn't think anything of as had had a relapse of bv due to pg hormones, but was managing w/ probiotics). Woke up in a cold sweat that night with nightmare and an eery "something's not right" feeling.
Scan next day showed 6 days growth (should have been 7) and no heartbeat.

I left without seeing the resident ob/gyn, went home and waited a week. I barely left the house and spent all day researching miscarriage and misdiagnosed miscarriage, still thinking maybe they had it wrong. It seemed to me there were just too many variables for them to diagnose so finitely. I was shocked and dismayed at the number of cases where doctors so readily suggest a d&c (apart from not mentioning or considering the risks such as asherman's syndrome), there are hundreds of stories of misdiagnosed miscarriages (misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com) where women are told their pg is not viable, only to go on to carry a healthy baby to full term. Devastatingly there are also some where they have the procedure only to realise down the track they were not given sufficient testing to ensure it was not viable. Get a second, third, fourth, 10th opinion... whatever you feel you need.

Unfortunately mine was not viable (although I am grateful if it had to end, it is now and not down the track). I finally booked in to see a new doctor 17th of May, a professor who specialises in miscarriage. He took my history and was sure the pg had ended, although I asked him to do a scan anyway, for my peace of mind. Scan showed sac collapsing (irregular shape). I told him I would rather wait and let it happen naturally, and he agreed, especially given that I already had some damage from a previous d&c. He warned me of possible pain, heavy bleeding and passing tissue, and told me he expected it would begin quite soon, and should resolve completely within a week, after which I was to come back for a scan to ensure there was no retained tissue.

That was 2 and a half weeks ago. I had some brown spotting immediately after intercourse (first and only time in weeks) about 10 days ago, a tiny bit when I wiped the next day, then nothing for days, about 4 days ago I started having some very light spotting, brown/pinkish dilute, only enough to spot one pad a day, and maybe a bit at night, so i began taking a black/blue cohosh tincture hoping it would speed things along, it seemed to help, although I had a day of severe headache and nausea and threw up once, so I have stopped taking it, although I think it was because I took it in combination with a tramadol (to sleep, I was a mess).
Some light cramping, but barely even worth mentioning.
I don't want to leave the house for fear I'll start having a big bleed/ pain while out.. The waiting is definitely hard.

I will update with how I go, but 2 more things I think are worth mentioning. Naturally I was frantic trying to find out what could have caused this, even though both doctors opinions seemed to be it was just mother nature saying the conditions weren't right.
One concern was bv, I know there is some evidence to suggest it can cause 2nd trimester m/c, however the professer I saw said he had not ever seen gardnerella outside the vagina (i was also concerned it increased my risk of infection while waiting to m/c naturally), I also had a complete resolution of symptoms by inserting probiotic capsules. The brand he said seems to work universally is called ecovag, although I had success just using Blackmores womens biobalance.
The other thing I feel I must mention, especially if anyone reading this has suffered multiple miscarriages is B12.
ALL women pregnant or trying should be taking it along with their folic acid. You need it to activate folic acid!
B12 deficiency is not a routine test for multiple miscarriages, even though it has been proven to cause m/c.
A less likely possibility is a genetic condition called "intrinsic factor deficiency", where b12 absorption is impaired. This is easily overcome by taking b12 in a sublingual form (either tabs to dissolve under tongue or a spray).

Lots of love to anyone who has/ is going through a miscarriage. It is the hardest thing I have ever endured.
I hope this helps someone out there, as all the stories from other women have helped me.

XXX

[jenkaye21]

Thanks to ALL of you for sharing your stories.  I found out this morning @ 12 wks that my baby stopped growing @ 10 weeks.  I was planning to wait and m/c naturally but now I really am not sure.  I've had two previous natural m/c, but they were at about 5-6 weeks, so this is WAY different.  I cannot imagine waiting 6+ weeks to miscarry.  Plus, I am already anxious to ttc again.  This was supposed to be our 5th and final baby, and I don't know how willing hubby will be to try one more time.  :'(

[Oddbod]

Hi have tears streaming down my face at your stories. They all so similar to mine. I am waiting for a miscarriage to happen. I went last week for a scan to be told the heartbeat has stopped. I should have been 10 weeks but baby not really been thriving since 6 wks. Every scan has not been good with slow heartbeats & irregular shaped gestation sac so wasn't a shock to find baby had finally passed away. I am now getting to the stage where I have had enough of waiting & need to be able to move on. I am scared to go anywhere or do anything in case it starts then. On the other hand there is no way I can brave a D&C. I hate being put to sleep and worry about scarring too much. I already have enough trouble without anything else. This is my 3rd miscarriage so I will also be able to have testing but I just need it over with. Thanks for sharing your stories. It helps to know others have been through this horrendous experience. I miscarried immediately with the 1st at 20 wks & then the 2nd took 2 wks at 8wks so I assumed this one would happen quickly also. It seems like a double blow to lose your baby then not miscarry immediately. I have spent weeks praying to stop bleeding ...now I am praying to start. Good luck ladies. I hope you never ever have to go through this again.

[Vestall]

OMG all storys are so sad... Why? I am still so sad too...
We found out 15 of October, that our little baby stoped development at 7 weeks...We thought that I am 12 weeks..I was feeling absoliutely fine, just was thinking about my breast, because its stopped getting bigger ( I dont have big breast)...That Friday was the worst day in our life...we was in big shock, tears...They said to think about it over the weekend and to let them on Monday what we decided...It was the longest weekend in my life...I have decided to go for DandC section, for a few reasons..first, i didnt bleed at all and I knew, that for my body its very difficult to realise, that I am carrying died baby for 5 weeks already...second, emotional and physiclly it was better for me, to finish everything and try to come back to normal life (still difficult thou)...I think, that every women knows thats its better for her...
Its just second day after my DandC...I am still not bleeding, I got less crampings then yesterday...Just want to wait for a few weeks for my first period and TTC again...

[Lugh00]

Hopefully my last update.  I got into a room at 10:20ish, had an IV by 10:40, the Dr, anesthesiologist and nurse within a few minutes of that.  I asked for something to relax me a bit since I was struggling to fight off tears and panic attacks.  He gave gave me something right away, and then immediately moved me into the OR, seemed kinda silly at that point, I was only on it for maybe 2-5 minutes before I was out like a light.  I remember being rolled in, the oxygen tubes put on my nose and the little sticky thingies on my chest (don't remember what they're called or what they're for) and next thing I know I'm rolling into the post op room.  I asked my husband 3 times how it went before I started to remember asking. He thought that was pretty funny.  I was shaky for a bit so they warmed me up, then they had me up and moving, just a bit later I was out the door.  He says it was pretty close to an hour but it went very fast because they're going over everything with you.  I only feel a vague achiness down there, most of the time I don't even notice it.  I've had only one short cramp, very mild, almost not worth mentioning at all, but that was the extent of my cramps.  The shot of lidocaine they gave me for the IV hurt more than anything else.  I had a bit of bleeding the first time in the bathroom but barely more than spotting since then.  Crossing my fingers that's all I have since I had so much bleeding already, but as long as it just gets better either is okay with me.  Mostly I'm tired.  Have a weird dryness at the back of my nose- like right before you come down with a cold, hoping it's not a cold and that it goes away. :P  There's been enough to deal with I would love to get a little break, lol.  

So there.  That's (hopefully) the end of my story. :)  At least barring the blood tests in a few weeks...

[Lugh00]

I had my appt this morning.  The ultrasound showed lots of tissue, probably the whole placenta still left well attached.  They want to do a D&C and I'm so tired of this dragging on that I'm going through with it, no fighting them.  If it had just been fragments I might have let it go longer but the whole thing a week after the rest was passed.  I'm an emotional mess and want to emotionally start recovering now.  So tomorrow morning I get there at 10, I go in at 11:30, and wake up and it'll be all over.  Finally.  I'm not by any stretch of the imagination happy about doing things this way, but I'm going to be done.  Then I go back 3 weeks after that to do blood tests to see if they can figure out why I keep miscarrying.

[StephRox13]

Idk if you call me lucky or not but the both times I miscarried I basically just found out I was pg & within the week I'm naturally miscarrying. Hurts like hell, cramping wise, but this time way worse than 1st time, but I'm a little further along this time. 1st time I was only 3 1/2 weeks this time 7. I started bleeding yesterday morning, still bleeding today. The pain didn't get bad until last night tho & still going pretty strong.

Like everyone is telling you. You know your body. Listen to it & do what will get back to baby making ready form quickest & healthiest.

[Lugh00]

Actually it took about 7 1/2 weeks, but 6 1/2 from when they told me.  The ultrasound where they told me I had lost it was on Aug 23rd, still measuring 8w1d like it had on Aug 11th (there was a good hb on the 11th), I'm guessing it probably passed away shortly after that ultrasound.  I started bleeding Oct 3rd, stopped the next day, started again on the 5th, continued until when late on the 7th I had what seemed just like labor.  The next day (Friday) I still had some cramping and bleeding, but lighter than before, then the following day (Saturday) was lighter still.  All day Sunday I had barely there pink spotting, Monday, I had brown spotting until that night and there was more bleeding, although lightly.  Today being the Tuesday following the miscarriage, back to barely there spotting, and pretty minor occasional cramping.  My last missed miscarriage was fairly painless, this one was not.  Thursday night really did rival labor with my 1st, but only for about an hour or 2.

Unfortunately, despite the nurses assurances that I very likely passed every thing I'm trying not to stress myself out that the bleeding is back even if light.  I have an appt tomorrow for an ultrasound to make sure it's all emptied out.  Which I hope it is, I don't want to have gone through all of that to only end up where I could have been a month and a half ago.  The nurse told me that the cramping could continue up to 2 weeks, she didn't mention about the bleeding but I think it's still well inside of the range of normal too.  With the 1st believed miscarriage (I didn't know, so I don't have the results of a test, we weren't trying and I was bfing my 17m old) I bled like a heavy period with lots of clots (comparatively) and then spotted/ had light bleeding off an on for 2 weeks.  Some days had nothing some had light bleeding and some only spotting.  

I'm not sure why the last time I had such confidence in my body to do what needed to be done, using the Drs as back up instead of the 1st line of defense.  And this time, I seem to doubt everything despite that while it took a while it still did what it needed.  In roughly the same amount of time too.  I seem to worry about every little quirk with this one.  As much as I want another child, I'm not sure I can emotionally handle going through pregnancy like this, the worry would drive me insane, never mind the possibility of it happening again.

[PetiteWonder]

So it took a little over 6 and a half weeks for the natural miscarriage to take place.  Its good to see this information for anyone who is feeling they wont naturally pass.  Though, Ill say it takes alot of strength to put yourself through 6 and a half weeks.  The stress of not knowing when it will happen is a lot.

I opted for a d&c.. fingers crossed I wont have to go through this again with my next pregnancy.... d&c worked out fine in my case this time but if i do have to go through this again, I may try for a natural miscarry.. its sound horrific compared to my 10 minute d&c but our bodies are suppose to naturally miscarry so it still feels safer...  its so hard on top of the stress of waiting it out, my ovum had stopped developing 5 weeks prior to me finding, and I was just so terrified of it happening while I am caught at work... I work out 30 minutes from town, and i work alone so to get another staff out would be 30 mins and i am sure once it really starts, driving is not really an option....  i just pray to god that I wont have to experience it again but its a reality that face all of us so.

[Lugh00]

This is it.  It's over completely.  Or at least I'm about 95% sure it is.  It's Friday, yesterday afternoon around 2 in the afternoon my cramps got worse.  By evening they were pretty bad, feeling like contractions.  I was an emotional mess.  I usually have a fairly high tolerance for pain which I still think pain wise is was manageable.  But having to be alone while it was happening had me in tears.  Ibuprofen didn't do much for the contractions but helped the back pain.  I calmed down around 9pm.  

Around 12:30 at night I decided it hurt more to lay in bed than to sit on the toilet, so I relocated, brought a pillow to sit on my knees and rest my head and book to look at in between contractions.  The contractions were coming nearly on top on each other.  About 15 minutes later or so, I checked the toilet, the water was solid red, it didn't look diluted anymore.  It made me a little nervous, but I flushed and waited again as the contractions were still coming.  I checked again 10-15 later and while the water was red, it wasn't like before, the bleeding was slowing down.  Flushed again and waited, I read a whole (short) chapter!  I realized the contractions were slowing down and getting less intense, otherwise I wouldn't have managed to actually read!  I checked again and the bleeding was minor, some but not much.  I figured it was safe to crawl into bed.  It was about 1:30am.

I called my husband in Kansas (on business, we live in CA), told him I thought the worst was over.  I just needed to talk for a bit.  We talked until about 2:45am.  I continued to contract for maybe an hour or so and actually fell asleep for a bit, I woke about 3:30am, a stronger cramp, not as bad as before, just not something to sleep through.  I went to the bathroom.  Very little blood, mostly when I wiped really.  Fell right back to sleep, woke about 5:45 thanks to my dogs wanting out, went to the bathroom before climbing back in bed, just like the last time, very little blood, mostly when wiping.  

Now it's 8:15 in the morning.  Been up since 7.  Had to get my oldest off to school (grandpa drove him for me, but I still needed to make lunch and get him dressed) and while I was hoping my youngest would sleep in so that I could crawl into bed, no such luck.  I feel fine, aside from super tired, no cramping, a vague ache-ish type feeling from my lower abdomen, which given the workout those muscles got last night doesn't really surprise me.  My back ache is mostly gone, not completely but not bad, not worth taking painkillers over.  Bleeding is still fairly light.  I think it's over.

I hope all this detail helps some one else sometime in their lives when they need it.  It can take a while for a missed miscarriage to happen naturally.  It could be almost totally painless like my first or it could be pretty miserable like this one.  I don't recommend letting it happen while you're alone though, that was the worst part.  I had my phone, by me the whole time, my inlaws are 6 houses away.  But what I wanted was my husband with me, that would have made a world of difference to me.  But it's over, it over the way I wanted it to be over.  I'm safe and he'll be home late tonight.  I can finally move on to the rest of my life.  I can finally decide if we're going to try again or not.  Good luck to all you out there that might be going through something similar.  I'm just trying to give you information I couldn't find myself.

[Lugh00]

Here's an update, it's been 6 weeks and 2 days (today is Wednesday) since they told me I lost the baby, probably closer to 7 since the baby actually died.  I am going to put lots of detail in here, just so that others who have to go through this will have a reference that I had a hard time finding.

We spent the weekend at the Renaissance Faire, nothing was happening more than the occasional spotting, we joked it would happen while we were there since it would be highly inconvenient, although I went prepared.  Sunday evening as we were leaving I started bleeding, a couple small gushes, not quite enough to fill a pad, but a lot more than I'd had so far.  Mind you we were about to sit in the car for 2 hours.  I continued to bleed light to medium, always more if I was on the toilet, until that evening when it tapered to almost nothing.  

Then nothing on Monday, not a drop.  

Tuesday evening around 5ish, it came back, about the same as before, more than lightly, I would guess a medium flow, with small clots and more bleeding when I was on the toilet. This time it didn't stop.  It's now Wednesday, and I was up and down all night, almost every time I went there was blood in the toilet, enough to turn the water dark pink to red, often clots, some small some larger, once I wiped and had tons of little clots on the tissue.  I'm pretty sure that this is it, I don't think it's stopping this time until it's all over.  Now so long as it completes itself and there are no issues such as excessive bleeding or retained tissue, in a week or 2 I'll be good to go back to life as I know it.  

As far as cramping, I've had mild cramps off and on, occasionally a twinge that actually catches my attention but it's generally short lived and not worth taking painkillers for (not that I have a problem with them, Ibuprofen is my friend, lol).  I do tend to have more in the way of back pain vs cramps in my normal period.  There's been back aches off and on since about 6 weeks or so (when they first told me the baby wasn't growing properly).  Some days they're worse, some days nothing.  

Emotionally, this has been more difficult than the last one.  For 2 reasons I think, the first being that this is potentially my 3rd miscarriage definitely the 2nd, so the chances of having a successful pregnancy have dropped.  The second is that I wasn't in contact with a midwife who would be more open to me and expectant management for as long as it took.  I did have an OB but I was saving them for when I needed more than reassurance and needed medical intervention.  Having a midwife available to speak with when I needed that reassurance would have made this easier.   I spent a lot of this time in a mild depression, every time the bleeding started I would perk up have some energy and want to do things, I even painted 2 walls in my house one of those days.  Only to have it stop again and make me all the more frustrated.

I took Black Cohosh, Blue Cohosh and Cottonwood tinctures, according to the directions from the midwife I saw for the first miscarriage.  I also used pressure points, some I knew from labor with my first children, the others my chiropractor showed me when I asked.  His opinion was that if it took 8 weeks to complete the miscarriage the last time, it would like take about 8 weeks this time around too.  I'm not sure if the herbs I took helped or not, they didn't hurt any since I followed the dosage given.  I think they will only work if your body is ready.  If either the herbs or pressure points worked, I'd have to go with the pressure points, I did those for 2-3 days and that's when the bleeding started to get heavier, continuing them seemed to make it continue by causing contractions.  

[Lugh00]

This is why I won't use it.  This sounds lots scarier than the possible risks involved in a D&C, particularly because I've had 2 previous c-sections.  My Dr didn't even offer it as an option.  I'm not knocking those who've used it, but I'm not interested in something that specifically states I'm at a higher risk for uterine rupture.

This is from the package insert for Cytotec:

"Cytotec can induce or augment uterine contractions. Vaginal administration of Cytotec, outside of its approved indication, has been used as a cervical ripening agent, for the induction of labor and for treatment of serious postpartum hemorrhage in the presence of uterine atony. A major adverse effect of the obstetrical use of Cytotec is hyperstimulation of the uterus which may progress to uterine tetany with marked impairment of uteroplacental blood flow, uterine rupture (requiring surgical repair, hysterectomy, and/or salpingo-oophorectomy), or amniotic fluid embolism. Pelvic pain, retained placenta, severe genital bleeding, shock, fetal bradycardia, and fetal and maternal death have been reported.

    There may be an increased risk of uterine tachysystole, uterine rupture, meconium passage, meconium staining of amniotic fluid, and Cesarean delivery due to uterine hyperstimulation with the use of higher doses of Cytotec; including the manufactured 100 mcg tablet. The risk of uterine rupture increases with advancing gestational ages and with prior uterine surgery, including Cesarean delivery. Grand multiparity also appears to be a risk factor for uterine rupture."

[shasy03]

Normally the doctors don't like for you to wait too long after knowing the baby is no longer alive to give you a d&c or medicine.  I would say as long as you are not sick or have a fever then you should be okay to wait a little longer.  We waited almost 3 weeks before I had to have an d&c. I was so sick they couldn't put me to sleep to do it earlier because I was not passing it.  Then a week later when I was a little better from a cold I started to miscarry and ended up in the ER and that morning after being there forever I had to have a D&C.  So, take care of yourself and if you notice you are getting sick...do something don't wait.

[jamnavywife]

I just wanted to encourage you to talk with your doctor about the pills, because there are also risks with the surgery. I should have been about 16wks when I took them (my babies only about 8wks) and it went fine, and my doctor was very sure that it would.
There are so many risks with the surgery and if its something you really didnt want to do I would suggest talking more with the doctor.

Here are some of the risks with D&C:

* Hemorrhage: heavy bleeding is a possibility if the uterine wall is punctured or scraped too hard by the curette.
* Infection: anytime an instrument is inserted internally there is a chance of infection. Some infections are serious but most can be cleared up by taking antibiotics.
* Perforated uterus: any instrument may snag or tear the uterus by accident during a D&C. Signs include pain and heavy bleeding.
* Asherman syndrome: as a result of aggressive scraping or abnormal reaction to scraping, thick scarring on the uterine walls may form. Periods stop and the woman becomes infertile.
* Irregular periods and/or difficulty conceiving: even slight uterine scarring can cause an irregular cycle and make it harder to get pregnant again.

Follow your gut and do what you think is best for you!

[Lugh00]

I still haven't miscarried.  Tomorrow is 5 weeks from when they told me, probably more like 6 from when it actually happened.  I stopped spotting entirely for nearly 2 weeks, felt just fine, no pregnancy symptoms or anything.  As soon as my husband came home from his most recent travels, I started my herbs (the same ones the midwife gave me before), I also started rubbing pressure points in both my hands and ankles.  After 3 days of herbs and one of pressure points I had an afternoon of light bleeding and minor cramps yesterday.  Unfortunately when I woke up this morning and the rest of the day it's essentially stopped again.  I am still cramping though, so I'm still hopefully, if emotionally exhausted.  I'm giving it one more week before I call the Dr to schedule a D&C, hopefully- if it's needed- I can schedule for the week following that (2 weeks out) as my husband is back on the road for the next 2 weeks, except weekends.  Fortunately my inlaws know what's going on and live down the street, in an emergency I won't be alone.  

I'll go read your Missed Miscarriage story, in a moment.  I am avoiding the pills because I've had 2 previous c-sections and there are some reports of the pills causing uterine rupture after 10weeks or with c-sections.  Inconvenient I have to say.
I'll update again, whenever it's complete, however it completes.