NO HEARTBEAT AT 8W5D - DR WANTS TO SCHED D&C - CRUSHED & CONFUSED

[mrsjermainjackson]

Hi all,  I am in desparate need of advice.  I just had my ultrasound today and I am supposed to be 8w5d.  There was a sac, yolk sac and fetal pole, but tech said that baby stopped growing around 7 wks and there was no heartbeat.  Dr came in and said I could either wait to miscarry naturally or have a d&c TOMORROW????  Omg, that is so soon.  They said that the pregnancy is NON VIABLE!!!   I have read many stories about misdiagnosed miscarriages and I felt like I wanted to wait a little while.  In the mean time, I did more bloodwork, which came back 41050 at 8w5d, up from 7583 at 6w0d.  I found an hcg calculator online and it says my doubling time is 186 hours or 7.8 days.  Thats way too slow isnt it?  I also had very low progesterone 2.3 at the beginning and they put me on suppositories 200mg 3x a day.  At my 6 week appt I was told that my progesterone was 25.4, my hcg was going up and they saw a gest sac and yolk sac and everything was moving along perfectly.  NOW THIS!!!  I literally felt like I was dreaming.  I finally just stopped crying and have a splitting headache.  I called the dr back and asked if there was any chance that if I waited a week or 2 that this could change and she just kept saying it was a non viable pregnancy.  She would not elaborate as to why, besides the lack of heartbeat.  I also had blood around the gestational sac.  
I have a terrible history of miscarriages.  This will be my 8th.  In all the posts I have read, I have NEVER heard of so many.  I also have one child, a beautiful healthy 5 year old boy.  With all of my previous miscarriages they never made it past 5 weeks with the exception of the last mc which turned out to be a partial mole.  That one lasted to 7w3d.  I only used progesterone with my son, so I thought that was the problem and started suppositories with this pregnancy immediately.  I thought that if I made it past 5 weeks that I would be in the clear.  I am just so confused and in such agony.  My husband and my son are keeping me strong but I am hurting so much.  
So my question to everyone is, should I stop taking the progesterone suppositories since it will only prolong the miscarriage, and wait to mc on my own? Should I go in for the D & C? Should I go for a second opinion and get another ultrasound?  I made an appointment with my old doctor to get a 2nd opinion but it will cost me 250 cause I dont have insurance.  Is there ANY HOPE AT ALL!!!  Even if I miscarry on my own I need to collect the tissue for testing.  they recommended  d&c so that they can make sure they get all of the tissue themselves so that they can rule out another molar pregnancy.  This is crazy. PLZ HELP

[babyhope8]

It's hard to advice you what to do because no matter what  decision you make it will not take the pain away.....but if you truly need and want to make sure there are no probabilities for this pregnancy I would advice you to get a second opinion.....however; to my knowledge the baby should show a heartbeat at 5 to 6 weeks in this case I really doubt they would make a mistake unless there is a chance you might have miscalculated how far along you are.....sorry I know how you feel....do what you know is going to give you some closure and not leave you with what if's.

[adgal]

I have not had 8 m/c, but I have had 5 so I understand a bit of what your going through right now.  I remember the first one I had, it was exactly the same situation.  The fetus had just stopped growing and the hospital I had gone to essentially offered me a D&C on the spot.  This was at about 8 1/2 weeks.  I was in too much shock and like you felt it was far to fast.  I waited a week to a week & half and had another ultrasound. It did confirm what the first ultrasound had said, but it gave me the time I needed to prepare for it and also helped me find peace with my decision if that makes sense.  

What to do is up to you completely.  There is no harm at all in waiting and having a second ultrasound.  I will be honest, with your HCG levels rising at that rate plus the lack of heartbeat, it does sound like another loss. I'm so sorry. However, you have to handle this your way.  Do not be rushed into a decision, and if you want another ultrasound for peace of mind, absolutely do not feel guilty about requesting it.  I think sometimes Dr.'s forget how difficult a time this is for us and take a "too clinical" approach.  Do what you need to do in the time frame you are ready to do it in. Take care and all the best to you.

[mrsjermainjackson]

Thank you everyone for your kind words of encouragement.  It really meant a lot to me to have the support of women who have been through this or just know what I am going through.  

Well after going through all of my stages, first grief, then denial/hope for different outcome, then pure anger, I believe I have now come to the acceptance stage.  I have decided to do the d & c as soon as possible so that I can begin to move forward and heal.  I stopped taking the progesterone, I will save them for my next pregnancy.  I also need to make sure this was not another molar pregnancy.  (I thought they were supposed to be very rare to begin with, much less have 2)  I am hoping that it is not.  I am still extremely sad and cry at the drop of a hat but I will be ok, I have a wonderful support system from my family and the wonderful women here.  You would think I would be used to this by now.  Thank God I have my son.  I want to wrap myself around him and never let go.  I feel blessed through all this that I am even able to get pregnant.  

So anyway, the hospital called me this morning to make an appointment for the procedure so I am just waiting for a call back.  It will be a matter of days.    Then we can look forward to trying again.  Thank you again everyone and I am very sorry for all of your pain that you have gone through also.  I wish everyone the best!!  Oh and sorry for all the double posts, I was desperately trying to make sure someone heard me.  Thank you!

[LilTq]

I am sorry for all your loses, which i do understand. I am currently having the same problem right now. I am on my 13 miscarriage and growth always stops between 5-7 weeks. I am 20 years old so my new doctor didn't believe me until he witnessed it this time around. I know how hard it is to keep trying and get disappointed. I to have one child. I have a son he is 2. I am getting lots of tests done to find the problem. I hope you get lots of tests done to rule out things going wrong. So far they have found no cause for me. Most of my miscarriages have been chemical pregnancies, or things look good and then growth just stops. My ob did tell me that getting pregnant and losing them over and over was not the answer and so now i  have to wait and find the cause before trying again. I wish you the best of luck and if you want to talk I'm always around just send me a message. best wishes.

[babyhope8]

Don't worry about having mix emotions that is normal.....when you feel down put your son in your arms and you'll get the strength to go on. It doesn't matter what # this miscarriage might be the pain is still the same......keep in touch and let me know if you need anything....best wishes

[wanabmom]

I am truly feeling your pain. this is my sixth miscarriage and i am about to lose my family becuz i am sooooooooo upset at everybody as if they are the ones that make this happening to me.
please do what makes you happy and dont be afraid to mourn your lose only time will tell
thanks God you have one, unfortunate i am 37 soon 38 nad dont have any children so you know can imagine my feelings. I wish there was a magic potion to defeat this cruel enemy. say the word and i would give it to all.
I am wishing baby blessing to all******************* mrsj, keep courage and trust in God.

[Gabbster1]

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I, too, like you just had a miscarriage last week-very similar cicumstances.  I was 7 weeks when I started spotting, found out I had low progesterone, baby was fine,started suppositories, bleeding stopped, hcg levels started to rise, but like you 5-6 days doubling.  Then went in for ultrasound a week later and found the baby had passed.  No heartbeat.  The ultrasounds are very good at detecting heartbeats these days.  I had a d/c two days later.  I was told to try again with progesterone, but also to start baby aspirin before conception.  Maybe you should talk to your dr. about trying that in conjunction with the progesterone.  I think I am having issues with my progesterone-this was my second miscarriage with similarities.  I have two daughters, 8 and 5, and now am recalling my pregnancies with them, I think my progesterone was low too because I never really had pregnancy symptoms like nausea which is very common for many women. Now that I am 39, I think it is even worse.  If  I were you, I would keep using the supplements and think about the aspirin, since you also mentioned the clot, which I had in three of my pregnancies.  Aspirin is showing to help-I guess.  Good luck. Don't give up hope.  I am trying not to. :)

[edithh]

I am so sorry for your loss.
a week ago I lost my baby. I was 9weeks +, had a scan and they told me there is no heartbeat. two days later I had another scan, they said same thing, but offered next appointment the next day to make sure or to have D&C. to be honest I didn't want to wait another day and hear the same thing and face the truth, didn't want live a dream. but in this case D&C wasn't the end of the story. i had to go to civic centre & register my dead baby(even had to choose his/her name, not knowing baby sex), then had to arrange funeral and everything (I was on holiday in Poland). i can't believe I am not pregnant any more...