I was diagnosed with a missed miscarriage at what should have been 10+4 based on my lmp. Unsure about ovulation. Based on when I got the pregnancy test positive and assuming that is only 8dpo, I would be 9+1. So, pretty much at the EARLIEST, 9 weeks.
Ultrasound showed fetus measuring 6+1 and 6+3 with no heartbeat. Gestational sac was "hemorrhaging" (or she may have said something else, not sure) and the doctor said that was characteristic in a failed pregnancy.
I got 4 ultrasounds in the same day, with two different techs and two different machines. Two abdominal, two vaginal, all said the same, measuring 6-something and no heartbeat.
We talked about my options and I decided on the misoprostol pills to induce miscarriage because my body wasn't doing it itself. That was 3 days ago, and I seem to have completed the miscarriage. Now I cannot shake the feeling that I aborted a healthy pregnancy. I've been pregnant twice before and have had early ultrasounds at 6 weeks that showed a heartbeat, and this was at the earliest 9 weeks. My husband is confident in the diagnosis. But I feel like I just got an abortion, so much guilt. What if I had waited a week, would the baby have suddenly grown and gotten a heartbeat? I read stories online about people that were measuring 3 weeks behind with no heartbeat suddenly found one on the next ultrasound. But are those situations usually because they were off in their dates? Because 9 weeks is the earliest possible date for me, or else I would have gotten the positive pregnancy test before I even ovulated.
I can't describe how I feel, except so disgusting that I could have killed a healthy baby. I had no spotting or bleeding, but my symptoms had pretty much disappeared.
Obviously there's no going back. But why do I have these feelings that maybe I should have done things differently? It would have to be a HUGE stretch with lots of variables for me to see how I could possibly be 6 weeks no heartbeat and have a healthy pregnancy. Rationally, I understand that. And yet I feel so guilty.