Suction D & C was Scheduled for Thursday...

[NikkiCC]

Well finally got a hold of the doctor today and my HcG levels last Tuesday were in the 14,000s and on Thursday they went down to the 11,000s. I just don't understand why my levels were so high 7 weeks after the baby stopped growing! Anyways my horomone must've gotten up there great. Like the doc said the baby was doing absolutely wonderful and growth was amazing and then things just happen.

So the earliest my D & C could be scheduled was this Thursday. I have to be at the hospital at 6:15am, which means I leave my home at 5:30am the latest. They gave me a bunch of choices for anasthesia. I could've done the epidural, which I said no to cuz I tend to get spinal headaches. Then I could be completely out, but I feel like it'll take longer to leave the hospital if I do that plus the procedure itself is only going to take around 20 mins. So I guess they are just going to give me meds through the IV. They said I'll be conscious, but really loopy. I can't begin to tell you how scared I am, but I know this needs to be done and once it is my fiance and I can have a fresh start. I don't know how I'll get through to Thursday knowing my baby inside of me isn't growing anymore...It hurts bad...

I also wanted to mention what my doc said because I know a lot of docs have diff opinions on when to ttc again and all that. Well my doc said I can start TTC after I'm done bleeding. She said the bleeding could take 2 weeks or less shouldn't be longer though. We can start right off. I did ask her what if I got preg and my body wasn't healed. She said that a "suction" D&C doesn't really mess with your lining and its nothing like when they scrape. Also she said that if for some reason my lining was way to thin then my body wouldn't get preg anyways. Your body will get preg when its ready...So at least I know I can start looking to the future and maybe I'll get lucky for once...

Sorry this really wasn't a question but I needed to tell someone...

Nikki

[NikkiCC]

Thanks so much for your comments! All of you ladies are wonderful and supportive! I never thought women all living thousands of miles away from me would help to overcome once of the hardest things I've had to deal with.

I thank you and everyone for that!

Nikki

[Clysta]

I'm sorry that you had to go through that. It's good that your body was able to naturally expel the baby, though it can be so much harder on women when they have to see that. I wish you luck for when you try to conceive again, and I hope that the next one sticks for you.

Also, don't worry about the posting thing. That's what the forums are for. Support and help, not just for asking questions.

[NikkiCC]

Thanks so much! And that is exactly where I am at. In the last year I've lost so much and I won't give up. I know that God has a plan and that DOES include me having another child. It means so much to me to have other children that I won't ever give up. I just can't...

Well, I have some news...Last night I ended up losing the baby on my own...This is probably going to be some TMI, but here goes nothing...

Around 9pm I started bleeding very heavily. My DF told me not to worry that I would bleed a lot, but I couldn't help to be afraid because what if I had lost too much blood ya know? Well I couldn't fall asleep so I stayed on MedHelp until 2am just getting a profile going and I never thought I'd have to do this again for a while, but start setting up an ovulation tracker...

So I started to get MAJOR cramps and couldn't take it so I went to bed. I put towels under me cuz I just knew I'd bleed thru. I was filling a pad every 30 mins. I ended up waking up at 5:05am and was covered in blood. So I ran to the bathroom where I lost a clot, which my doc thinks was the placenta. Went back to bed...

Then woke up at 6:36am covered again, lost another clot, which was grey that all of the wonderful ladies on here said it would look like...my doc said this was prob the embryo, but I consider that was my baby....I didn't even want to flush the toilet, but I knew I had too...It was awful.

I did feel better after though. My uterus for the 3 days before that was so swollen. It looked like I had just had a baby. So I was in pain...So after everything came out it was relief...

I called the doc this morning and she had me go in for a u/s. She said that everything was gone and the only thing she could see was my uterine lining finishing to shed like it does with a regular period. My bleeding has now turned to brown and light. So she said in the next few days I should stop, but maybe by next week.

So no D/C Thursday, which honestly was a relief to me because I was very frightened. She wants me to come back next Tuesday for one more u/s to make sure everything is all done and over. Thanks so much for the support...Its hard cuz sometimes I just want to post stuff and not questions but I never know if I should...

Nikki

[bernie40]

Oh hun I really feel for you :(  the waiting is horrid.  It sounds like you have a really good medical team which always help.  I know that concentrating on ttc is what helped me get through those difficult weeks/months, not because I wanted to replace the baby I'd lost but because it gave me something to focus on.

I hope Thurs goes as well as can be expected and I'll be thinking of you xx

[NikkiCC]

Thanks very much...I just love the medhelp community...all of the ladies are so wonderful and supportive...I almost didn't post that stuff just because it isn't really a question but i just wanted to ya know? so thanks for being understanding of that!

[jrobertson20]

Sorry about your loss.  It's good your doctor seems so understanding.  The next few days are going to be hard but I wish you the best of luck.