When will the pain end?

[angel3600]

I was 18 weeks pregnant and my water broke.  I miscarried due to an imcompetent cervix.  When the doctor examined me I was already 2 cm dialated and the umbilical cord had prolapsed into the birth canal.  I choose to have a D & E because I couldnt stand the thought of "wait and see".  There was no way I could push my baby out and see him lying there helpless and there is nothing I can do.  I was put to sleep for the procedure and didnt feel a thing.  
I feel so lost, confused, depressed like a huge part of me is missing.  When does this pain go away?  Im not sure how much I can handle.  This is very hard.  Please Help!!!!

[719gurl]

I too am dealing with a very difficult situation. Last year, I found out I was pregnant with my 1st child. Unfortunately, I was seeing a midwife and she failed to detect an infection in my water bag. I place some blame on her because I was in her office multiple times because I was not feeling well. She blamed it on water retention, and said everything "seemed" fine. Well I went into labor at 24 weeks, I delivered my son by c-section on July 6, 09. Tomorrow is his bday. My baby fought for his life for 33 days, he passed away on Aug 9, 09 from NEC, an intestinal disease common in preemies. I had been feeling somewhat better, but with his birthday and anniversary here, I find myself mourning all over again. I'm not sure how long I will continue to feel this way, but I hope it gets better. I would like to encourage you to seek help. Sometimes those close to us don't understand, because they've never been through it. Unless you've lost a child, no one could understand the feelings and emotions we go through. I have a pretty good support system, and have learned to cope with my emotions. Though I had not sought counseling up until now, I think it's time for me to face it and try to move on. My baby is in heaven and it's time for him to rest. I'm not sure if you named your baby? My son's name was Elias, as a tribute to him for his bday, I am getting his name, footprint and dates tattooed on my shoulder. Although he's not with me and his dad in flesh, I know his spirit is with us. I hope you get well, and know that you are not alone in your struggles. God Bless You.

[rccresswell]

I am sorry for your loss.  I couldn't imagine going through that and making the decisions you had to make.  I lost my son at 14 weeks.  After intense bleeding which started at 6pm, I felt a lot of pressure, my waters broke and he came out along with my placenta.  It was a very scary thing to go through.

To be quite honest I don't think the pain ever ends I just think you find ways to deal with it.  I lost my dad at 9 and losing my son was just as painful.  With my father I pretended he was on holiday for some reason and a few years later when I finally realised within myself he was gone I had to go through all of those emotions again.

I lost my son 3 weeks ago to the day tomorrow. I truly believe you need to go through the grieving process and you need to tell yourself and make yourself believe that you have lost your child to really start to heal.  I remember for about a week I was in denial that what had happened happened.  I find keeping myself busy is helping a bit and I have started talking to my husband a bit more and making him aware of how I am feeling.  I am also talking to a councillor and she is helping me through this hard time.

I think the real thing that is really helping me is knowing that Ethan will always be in my heart and it is ok to shed a few tears for him.  It is ok to be angry, happy, sad.  I also believe you need to go through all these emotions in order to fully come out the other side and you also need to let go.  When that happens is up to you and don't rush it.  I don't believe I am there yet.  The one thing that gives me hope is that all though I wasn't in control of losing my son, I am in control of trying to conceive again when the time is right.  That's what makes me happy and eases the pain for me.  

[tamtam305]

love go to see a counclier or ya dr, it is soooo normal for u to feel the way u do ok and believe me it doesnt seem like it now but it wll be easier as time goes by, make sure u grieve for as long as u need to there is no time limit on this and i hope your partner does this with u too, u will know in your own heart when things are getting beter, maybe have a small memorial in your babys honor it can be of many things, i placed a nice red rose bush i my garden in memory of my baby that way i can see the roses bloom every season and watch my love grow as the roses glow red, (red rose bush ).
i find it ok to deal with it and when i look at the roses it gives me a smile as i see my lost child within the plant... sounds silly to some people but its worked for me its just a surgestion thats all, im so sorry for your loss and we all share your pain love, let us know how u r going and remember he will always live on with in your heart and he will always make u strong for tomorrow. xxxxtam